tryst [sequel] // h.s

01

Chapter one

Zara

''I'm hyperventilating, I need to breathe.'' I fan my face, quickly getting more air but I'm so nervous.

''Zee, it's fine. You don't have to see him tonight.'' Cassie assures me and Lex nods vigorously.

''It's been three months since I last saw him, I can't sing in front of him.'' I look down at my dress while my stylist quickly fixes my hair. ''He's gonna hate me, I can't do it.'' I say and Lexington kneels in front of me, taking my hand in his.

''Zee, the song is amazing on its own. Forget about Harry, tonight is about you. It's the first time you sing in over a year and it's a special song, innit?'' He tries to calm me down but I shake my head. ''You are gonna go out there and do what you do best because we are all so proud of you, okay?'' He motions everyone inside the room and they all nod.

''But if you are not feeling okay we can cancel, darling. Don't pressure yourself.'' Courtney, my manager assures me in a sweet voice and I smile at her. ''It's gonna cause a lot of trouble but it'll be fine.'' She tries to humor me and I give her a nervous smile.

''I need a moment alone.'' I tell everyone and I can see the look of panic in their faces. ''I'm not running away, I just need a moment.''

It takes a while for everyone to leave the room but once I'm alone I let all of the air out of my lungs so I can focus on my breathing.

Tonight is the moment I've been waiting since I got the call to sing. It's my comeback debut on stage and no matter how static I am, I'm also shitting myself.

The whole healing process I've been under these past months comes to a breaking point and this is gonna define whatever I do next. It's the first time I'm singing in a year but what I'm most nervous about is the song.

Right after everything that happened with Harry I focused myself on finishing the album so I could release it as soon as I was free out of my former contract. I did an extensive dwell on what to do about it and I did what felt right.

I released a song on the first day of February.

It was risky doing it but in the end, it was something for me to heal as well. I needed it out as soon as possible so I did it.

Honestly, I don't know about Harry's reaction or if he even heard it.

Maintaining himself true to his words he didn't give up on trying to talk to me and my phone blew up in text messages and phone calls. That went on for about two weeks until I decided it wasn't doing anything good for me and I made the decision to block him.

It was certainly a childish move of mine but it actually helped me so much. He stopped trying to reach out and it honestly made things easier for me, which was odd and unexpected but at least I got my space.

For those first two weeks, I didn't get out of bed until I had to go to my mum's for the holidays where I spent around ten days until everything started crumbling down again.

I got scared about dehydrating because of how many tears I cried around that time.

I missed him so much and the only news I had of him were the one's going around social media. I didn't ask Zayn about him either, I knew it would only make things worse and he'd want to make me talk about it.

His name was a rarity around me as if everyone was being careful with me. Not wanting to trigger any memories, any more pain but little did they know I inflicted it myself.

Whenever I felt like talking to him, I'd play the voice message he sent me while he was in LA on repeat where he said how much he loved me as I cried myself to sleep.