For You and maybe Me

~ > 14 < ~

~I cried for you on the kitchen floor~

"My suggestion would be to plan everything as normal," John said. "It's nothing more than the flu.""But shutting down a whole city isn't normal anymore," Jazmin said. "You're right, Jazmin. But we don't know anything about it," Claire stated. Ever since this virus started spreading in China, there's been constant news reports of a lockdown in Wuhan, where it seems to have broken out. The city is shut down and no one is allowed out. Now it's feared that we won't be able to go to Shanghai, as Wuhan is not far from there. "What do you think, Elizabeth?" asked Claire, addressing me. I looked wearily at my notes and tried to deduce something. I didn't have an opinion about it, the whole thing sounded like a movie to me. Besides, I didn't feel like doing anything anymore, this conference today made me even more tired than I already was. "I would wait and see how it develops," I replied. "It could just be the flu, but when a city is completely locked down, it's questionable what's going on."
"I echo Elizabeth's sentiment. I wouldn't rush into anything, besides we have everything planned but we have enough time to re-plan everything," Ava agreed with me. "All right, then this is settled," Claire nodded and looked at the papers. Meanwhile, my phone lit up next to my notebook on the table. Briefly, I dared to glance at it and rolled my eyes. I wiped the message on the side and locked my phone again. Why does George still have to bug me now? It had been a week since the party and George kept trying to call or text me. Of course, I ignored it every time because I didn't want to be annoyed. He was destroying me at the moment anyway, after all that action he pulled. 
I've been sleeping badly for days, I always try to appear in a good mood at work and my blood sugar level has been going crazy for days. My mood was just not good and then pretending at work didn't make it any better. I loved my work here and the people around me, but I just didn't want to do it anymore. I could never have imagined crying so much for a guy. It was the first time I had done this for more than a week. What was the reason for this? I was never this emotional...
It was a fact that I missed him. Yes, I missed him. Far too much. Claire finally finished the conference, which I was happy about, and I went back to the office to continue my planning for the races. On the way there, I was accompanied by Jazmin, our contact person to the journalists. She and I had to work closely together so that our events and interviews didn't coincide. "I have the plan for the interviews that will take place next week," Jazmin said when we were in the lift. 
"Very good, then I'll check it and see if anything else is pending," I said as we got out.
 "Very good," said Jaz. "And the plan for the test weeks? Where are you with that?"
"Already done, do you need it?"
"Yes, I need to start scheduling the reporters," she replied.
 "Wait, I have it here," I said, looking for it in my folder. Briefly, we paused in the hallway in front of her desk while I pulled it out and handed it to her. "Thank you, Lilibeth," Jaz thanked me and went to her desk. She opened the drawer and rummaged around for a moment before taking out a sheet and handing it to me. "Thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow."
"All right."I tucked the sheet into my folder and saw that someone was standing at the end of the corridor who I didn't want to see. What was he doing here? 
Jaz seemed to have noticed my glance and also looked in that direction. "George is here today?" she asked. "Isn't there something on the programme tomorrow?"
"Indeed," I replied, not taking my eyes off him. I hoped Jaz didn't realise how angry I was getting. Sure, he kind of works here too, but did he have to show up right where my office was? He was talking to one of the staff from our floor and they seemed to be talking about something funny, but George wasn't laughing as usual. "Silly question," Jaz said suddenly and I looked at her in confusion. "He's good looking, isn't he, and he's nice..."
My eyes widened then at that tone. Seriously now? Yes, it was true, but why...?
"If you say so," I mumbled and looked at him again. 
From the side, I saw Jaz give me a funny look. "Or not? Did something happen between you?"
"What?" I asked, laughing falsely. "Of course not," I lied and straightened my folder. "People like George don't care about me," I muttered bitterly. George suddenly looked in our direction and this was then my signal. "I'm off, see you later," I said goodbye to Jaz and made my way to my office, inwardly hoping George hadn't noticed me.
"Lilibeth?", I heard his voice call as I already turned around. My steps quickened and I prayed that he wouldn't catch up with me. But of course, it was not as I had hoped.
 "We need to talk," George said as he stood beside me, out of breath. I looked at him briefly and then looked straight ahead again. It had been a week since I had heard his voice, seen his face, seen him touch me, seen him kiss me...I shook my head, now I had to remain professional, that's what Uncle Adam said to me. Not to show any emotion in front of him and not to react sadly or anything like that, I have to appear confident.  
"I don't think we have to," I replied when we were finally outside my office and looking for my keys in my businesswoman trousers. "But I do, there are some things that are unclear," he contradicted me. He's serious? I asked myself inwardly and looked at him with exactly that expression on my face. Are some things unclear? What is unclear to me? How it looks when my ex kisses me in front of someone you pretend to love?
 "The only thing unclear is why you're talking to me," I said, putting the key in the keyhole.
"But"
"But nothing," I interrupted him with an elevated tone, opening the door and slamming it behind me. 
In my office, I leaned my head against the door and exhaled deeply. Did that just happen? Still angry, I walked towards my desk and threw my folder on the table. Why did he have to show up? After this action, my colleagues will probably think that I am mentally disturbed...
Before I started working again, I tried to calm down and pushed all my thoughts about George aside. Now I would not focus on him, not at work. I couldn't let my feelings about him control me. And yet that was how it was. I missed him. His eyes, his hair, his face, his hugs, his touch, his kiss... I missed him. I missed the feeling of being happy with him, of laughing with him. I want to dance with him again, like at his party, hug him tightly and be in his arms and feel safe. But I couldn't - no, I couldn't. I was just a game to him, I was worthless, I was nothing to him. He just took advantage of me. 
Tears started to gather in my eyes and I tried to suppress them because I didn't want anyone to see in case they came to my office. Why was I so naïve to think that a guy could love me? You can't love me, I should have realised that by now...My thoughts were interrupted when I felt the vibrating of my mobile phone in my pocket. I wiped my face briefly and took it in my hand. A number was displayed on the screen, which confused me. Was George already trying to reach me on other mobile phones? I just took the call, knowing what I had to tell him.
"If you think you can reach me on other numbers, forget it," I bitched into the phone.
"I don't know that we've ever spoken on any other number," I heard a familiar voice on the other side of the line. "Lando?", I asked, puzzled. "How did you get my number? I can't remember-"
"That we swapped it?" he finished my sentence. "Of course you don't remember because you were so drunk during it," he explained. I shook my head. How could I have drunk so much that night?
"I'm sorry I just bitched at you. I thought you were George."
"I thought so, the asshole is annoying anyway, I told you" he reminded me and I giggled at that. How did Lando manage to talk about George and make me laugh at the same time?
"Why are you calling me?"
"Well, because I'm a great gentleman, but mostly to ask how you are."
"Well, I'm still a bit... Disappointed? Sad? Mad? Everything? Worse than a pregnant woman during her hormonal fluctuations," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Sounds great.", he said ironically. "Have you met him since the party?"
"Yes", I answered bitterly. "Almost 10 minutes ago and I yelled at him," I added.
"At least he gets a lecture, he definitely needs it. He didn't take mine."
"Hey, Lando," I started after a short silence. "Thanks for taking care of me after ... well, you know."
"Sure, if George is an ass, someone must be the good guy in the story," he joked, at which I gave a short laugh.
"Maybe ... Um, would you like to have a coffee with me?" I asked slowly.
 Why not? If he was that nice, I'd like to get to know Lando better.
"I'm sorry, I don't like coffee," Lando replied but could hear how he had to suppress a laugh.
"Then just for a cup of tea, my goodness, I know you're British!"
"Maybe I don't like tea too!"
"Okay, hot chocolate?" I tried.
"Water is good too"I shook my head and grinned at it.
 "Well, I'll write to you," he laughed.
"Well, I have to work. See you"
"See you."I hung up with a smile and leaned back in my chair.
My mood was much better now. Lando could actually improve it.