Chapter 19: I'm a Failure

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I took a nap but I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep

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I took a nap but I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep. I sat up and realized I was starving. So I walked to Kings room hoping he would still be awake. I just didn't feel comfortable walking around this place alone. When I got to his door it was partially open. I knocked but there was no answer. I walked a little further into his room then heard water running. I walked towards the sound until I saw him in his shower. There was a lot of steam but I could still see him. God he looked incredible. Any other time I'd strip naked and ride him like a fucking horse but this was new territory for me. As I was turning to walk away...I heard

"I am a failure" he said as he turned the hot water higher. 
"I am a sinner"
"I am broken"
"I am his son"

Every quote he said he's make the water hotter until it was at its highest point. I opened the door wider to let the steam out and now I could see how red his skin was. It was like he was trying to torture himself. He just kept repeating the words over and over while banging his fist on the wall.

"I'm a failure...I'm a sinner...I am Broken...I am his son"

"I'm a failure...I'm a sinner...I am Broken...I am his son"

I felt the tears running down my face and without thinking I ran over to the shower and opened the door.

"STOP! YOU'RE GOING TO BOIL YOUR FUCKING SKIN!"

"Stay back Lynn!"

"No! If you don't come out right now I'm coming in!"

He looked at me for a few more seconds then turned the water down. I grabbed him a towel and he wrapped it around his waist. He walked past me and went into his room. I followed and sat down next to him.

"Let me look at you. You might need a doctor"

"I'm fine. I stopped feeling it months ago"

"What? How long have you been doing this to yourself?"

"Since the day I left. I wanted to hurt more than I already did. I needed to."

I grabbed his face so he'd look at me. And for the first time I saw how much pain he'd actually been in. It wasn't just physical. I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Why? Why would you need to do this?" I asked genuinely wanting to know.

"For you. I deserve it Lynn. For hurting you, betraying your trust, leaving you to deal with your pregnancy alone. I'm a complete failure as a man. I'm not even someone my son could ever be proud of. I've already lost you and he'll probably grow up ashamed to have my blood. I am I'm fathers son. I'm no better than him if I hurt my wife and child"

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