Meet You There

Meet You There - Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Things really felt like they went back to normal. At school, Bennett and I acted like a normal couple. We ate lunch together and held hands in the halls. But I realized pretty quickly that Bennett's friends, once again, were no where to be seen.  After the second week, I could tell it was starting to affect him.

   "It's just bullshit," he told me, angrily near the end of a long day. He had to do a make up test during lunch, so I hadn't seen him since that morning. I'd eaten my lunch with Kelly and Anna. "The guys literally smoke weed before class. They party every weekend. But they are still avoiding me. How am I any worse than them?"

   "You're not," I told him, running my fingers down his arm.

   We were sitting with our backs to the lockers in the hallway where his locker was, on the third floor. I had a free period for last, and he had left class to come see me. I liked that we were normal, now. We always walked home together, usually going to my apartment to make out or have sex before having dinner with Caleb. Bennett rarely wanted to go home, but never really said why. We had gotten even closer over the last couple of weeks.

   "Well, they still won't be seen with me," Bennett said, shaking his head.

   "Who cares?" I asked, leaning my head onto him.

   "I care," he told me. "I need friends."

   I sat up, looking at him. "Oookay."

   "No, Iris, I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

   "They are stupid for ditching you, but you don't need them," I told him.

   He had basically been kicked off the football team, since he'd missed so many practices and games. Life had gone on without him, and he was now realizing it. I felt genuinely bad for him, about that.

   He nodded, but remained quiet for a few minutes, and then he kissed me and stood up, telling me he'd see me at the end of the day.

   I was learning that with Bennett, sometimes just being with him had to be enough. I couldn't always expect a conversation, or explanation. When I had asked if he was avoiding going home, he gave me a sad look and just laid his head in my lap, not giving me an answer. That was about a week after he'd gotten back from rehab. I kept meaning to talk to Kelly about it, but I wasn't sure what to say.

   I knew he wanted to spend as much time together as we could - and I wanted that, too - but suddenly it felt like all he wanted to do was cuddle or make out. We didn't really go anywhere to hang out with anyone else.

   "I have to study for a Calculus test," I told him, just as he started kissing my shoulder, one afternoon, a few weeks later.

   We were on Caleb's couch, the TV was on. It was Sunday, and I knew Caleb could walk in at any moment. Honestly I didn't even feel like making out. I was sort of stressing about a few tests coming up, not to mention final exams. Sure, I'd already been accepted into college, but I still cared about my marks.

   Bennett didn't stop kissing me. "You can do that later?"

   "Yeah, but I want to get it done now," I answered, pulling away.

   "Okay... in a minute," he said, now kissing my neck. He knew I would give in if he kept going.

   "Bennett, stop. Please," I snapped. He sat up, surprised. "I mean, you've been here since Friday. Your family probably misses you."

   His face changed, quickly. "You're sick of me?"

   "What? No, I'm not."

   "You want me to go home?" he asked.

   "No. I just want you to check in with your parents... you know?" I told him, reaching for hand again.

   "They don't care about me," he said, but it was obvious he didn't mean to say it. "I'm sure they are glad I'm out of their hair."

   "Wait, what?"

   "Iris... you wonder why I'm here all the time? It's because you want me. Caleb cares about us. My family... they don't." Now these words just sounded painful.

   "What?" I asked again. "What are you talking about?"

   He stood up, looking down at me. "My mom said that I need to move out. My brother's on his own, Kelly is moving into the dorm in July... my parents are selling the condo and moving closer to the university."

   "Bennett..." I didn't know what to say to him now.

   "I'm embarrassed, okay? I'm not going to college. I ruined my life. And I'm going to lose you."

   He was crying now, suddenly, so I jumped up and hugged him.

   "No, no, you are not losing me," I whispered.

   "How the hell am I going to go to New York?" he asked, but let me hold him anyway.

   "I don't know, but..."

   "Exactly." Now, he stepped back, away from me. "I can't. I don't have money. I don't have a car. When you leave... I will have nothing."

   I stepped closer again, and put my hands on his face. "But I'm here."

   "But you're already sick of me." He looked down.

   "I'm not," I repeated. "I just need to study."

   Now our eyes met again, and he smiled. "Promise?"

   "I swear. I will kiss you later. And I'm sorry your family isn't being very nice to you. They just have other things going on," I told him.

   "You love me?" he asked, grinning.

   "I love you," I repeated.