Yours truly ; Charlie Weasley

Twenty-five

"She's dead."

The room went silent at Charlie's words, my family staring at him in shock. I was standing behind the sofa where Crispus, Calypso, Valencia and Amethyst sat. I was shouting, I was yelling, I was doing everything to try and get their attention, but they couldn't hear me. They shouldn't see me either.

I was a ghost.

"It was an accident." Charlie continued, his brows in a frown. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. One minute we were fighting, the next she was just lying there."

No one else said anything. Everyone were just staring up at Charlie who was explaining to them how he killed me.

"I think she hit her head in something. Maybe the table." Charlie said. Why were they all so calm? Why weren't they showing any sign of grief? I'm their daughter— their sister. "She was bleeding a lot from her head. There was nothing I could do to stop it."

My brain woke first. I stared up at the ceiling, unable to move, feeling trapped in my own body. It felt like being in a coma all over again. I hated it.

I started crying silently as I remembered how it felt being in that coma due to the seizure I had after we won the war.

Then my body jolted awake and I immediately sat up, breathing heavily through my sobs. It was never going to end. I was always going to be experiencing these nightmares. They only got worse.

Maybe I should be seeing a therapist or a psychologist. I needed someone to help me with this.

I ran my hands over my face and into my hair, tugging at it out of frustration before I got out of bed. My body was shaking and I was sweating, causing some hair to stick to my forehead.

The first thing I did was to open the doors to the balcony to get in some fresh air. Then I started pacing back and forth in the room, trying to shake it out of my head while shaking my hands violently.

Charlie and I desperately needed couples counselling. There had to be a reason for me having a nightmare about him killing me.

I swung the door open, leaving the bedroom to walk into the kitchen. Charlie was a heavy sleeper, always had been so he wouldn't wake up easily. Boy could sleep through anything.

I crouched down by the loose board in the floor, and removed it, revealing my secret alcohol stash. Charlie never knew about it. He loved whisky and we had available alcohol in one of the cupboards, but this was my secret with much stronger alcohol.

Drinking was my coping mechanism and right now, I desperately needed to drink. My secret stash was full of alcohol bottles that I had bought in the Muggle world.

I grabbed my bottle of Vodka, and put the board back in the floor. I looked towards the living room, watching Charlie while I opened the bottle of Vodka and took a big sip of it.

These nightmares caused me so much pain and fear. I know they aren't real, but they seem real, and that's what scares me.

I managed to move my way into the table, sitting with my legs over the edge. I stared at the sleeping body on the sofa while drinking the vodka.

I truly loved Charlie, but it was dreams like that, that made me realise just how much damage he left when he packed his things and dumbed me.

I hadn't forgiven him. I didn't know if I ever would, but throughout a day, everything just seemed so back to normal. Then nighttime came, I'd have a nightmare and my mind would race again.

Sure, I had nightmares before he left. I had nightmares about the war and seeing Fred lie there, but now every single nightmare had Charlie's face in them and it always had something to do with death.