The Resident

Chapter 12

JANEL'S POV:

When I woke this morning, I felt WAY better than yesterday. I still felt tired and weak, but I could tell I was probably done being sick. All that resting and dozing yesterday was good for me. And Ian was good for me. And good to me. Yesterday was nice. Being sick and all! If that was what being sick was like with Ian around, I could be sick all the time and wouldn't care at all.
I loved it when he cuddled next to me and napped with me. I didn't really sleep much in that particular nap though, because I was distracted by having Ian right there, so close to me. And he looked so cute sleeping. He almost had like a smile on his face the whole time. It was sooo adorable. He didn't know it, but I kept opening my eyes and staring at him. Watching him sleep. I couldn't help it. He must have been tired, because I was playing with his hands too, and he didn't move. He sure had a lot of work to do on his phone earlier. Being a famous rock star must be hard.
I still can't believe he's Ian Sheer. I'm so used to him as just....Ian. It's like he's a new person now, in my head. But I know he's not. And I don't want him to be a new person. I almost don't want him to be Ian Sheer. I just want him to be the same Ian I always knew. I have to work on that in my head a little, to get it to fit right. I just can't stop thinking about how his music made me feel so much better when he was gone. How his voice was so familiar, and I didn't even realize it was him.
I decided to play on my phone and use that Google that Ian was using to find pictures and videos of himself for me. So I did that for a while. I read numerous articles about him, and watched lots of videos of him on stage. Yep. That was definitely the Ian I knew. My God, he was soooooo talented.
I was so proud of him. But I just couldn't figure out WHY he'd hang around ME. So as usual, I decided to keep taking it day by day and enjoy it while I could.
Speaking of days, where WAS Ian, anyway? Shouldn't he be here by now? He's ALWAYS here by now. It was 11:30. I hadn't noticed how much time went by, watching videos and reading stuff. No wonder everyone is always using their phones everywhere in town. It takes up a lot of time, and it's fun.
I decided to see if there was still any breakfast left over in the cafeteria. Lucky for me, Martin the cook said, there was just enough to make me a plate. He was a nice man. Always trying to make me a plate when I was late. I was starving. I ate it all fast. I was still feeling shakey on my feet, so I decided to go around the long way back to my room to get a little exercise in.
As I went down the hall on the other side of the building, I walked past a small empty conference room, and something caught my eye, and I stopped, and backed up to see in the doorway again.
There, sitting at a table with Bonnie, and the home's director, my doctor, and two other important looking people, was Ian.
What was he doing in there at their meeting???
I stood there for a few seconds and listened.
"I would be glad to help her. I just don't want to be 'in charge' of her. That's not what I want for our relationship. I don't think she'd like that, either. I feel like it would change things between us. I want to be in her life because I WANT to be. And because SHE wants me to be, and nothing more. I don't want to evaluate her, or write reports about her or anything of that sort. I want her to be equal to me, as we are now. That's all I ask. But of course, I would be there for her when she needs help. But only if she asks me, or says yes when I offer help. Not because it's my job to. That's not equal." Ian hesitated and sighed. "I want her to be on her own as much as she does. And I know it would be quicker if I signed those papers putting her in my "custody". But I just can't do it. I'm willing to have it take longer, rather than ruin what we have, by suddenly becomming the boss of her. No thank you. Sorry." And he leaned back in his chair, with his head down looking a little upset. Bonnie looked over at him and put her hand on his knee and gave it a supportive tap tap tap, and a smile. He looked up at her and gave a quick, small smile back, and then put his head back down.

I quickly felt like I didn't want to be caught listening, even though I was in plain view, so I slowly stepped out of the door view, and started walking again.
Equal to him, as I am now? He thinks of me as equal to him? How is that possible?
I tried to make sense of the whole conversation. Figure out what it meant. What it was about.
It sounded like they wanted to finally put me in my own apartment, but only if Ian would sign papers to take care of me and be in charge of me. But Ian didn't want to be in charge of me. He just wanted to be friends, like we are now.
I thought for a while as I layed back into my bed, a bit exhausted from the walk.
I thought and thought.
Yes. Ian's right. I would NOT like that. I would NOT like him to boss me around and tell me what to do. I would NOT like him to be in charge of everything about me. I like us the way we are. And if he was in charge of stuff for me, if he ever wanted to stop coming to see me, he couldn't.
I'm glad he said all that to the important people. I don't care if I don't get out of here for 5 more years. As long as Ian only hangs around me because he WANTS to. Not because it's his job.

Then I thought about having my own place to live. I pictured it. I looked around at some of the stuff in my room, and wondered what I'd be allowed to bring with. Not that I had much.
I pictured Ian knocking on my apartment door, and walking in to visit me. Us sitting on a couch, watching tv, holding hands.....me being able to give him a drink or something if he wanted one....
My eyes teared up picturing it all. It was too good to ever be true, I knew this. But it was such a nice fantasy.
"Hey Janel....Janel?" I came out of my fantasy land and looked over at Ian standing next to the bed.
"Are you ok? How do you feel today?" he asked me.
"I'm ok. I'm feeling better. I just got back from having some breakfast, and I took the long way back to get used to walking around again."
"Oh good! You have an appetite. That's great. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better. Did you happen to see me in the conference room? Did you walk by there?" Ian asked.
I didn't know if I should tell him what I heard, or not. Would he be mad at me? Well, I couldn't lie. So I told him. "Yes. I walked by and your red hair caught my eye and I saw you in a meeting..." I stopped there, to see what he would say next. I knew those meetings around here were usually secret. They usually wouldn't tell me what they were talking about, even when I knew the meeting was about me.
"Yep. I was there. They called me early this morning and asked me to come in. Bonnie said she'd be there with me, so I wouldn't feel funny. Heh. They said they could get you into your own apartment soon, but they wanted me to sort of....be in charge of you." he admitted freely to me.
It was a relief to hear him say what really did happen in the meeting, because I thought he'd have to lie to me about it.
"But you wanted our relationship to be the way it is now, with both of us equal, instead of you being my boss" I quick butted in before he could go on.
Ian looked suprised. "You heard, then?"
"I just heard that part. And I didn't want to be caught listening, so I left", I admitted to him.
"So.....what do you think? Was I right? I was right, I think. Even if it means that you can't get into your own place as quick....I'd rather still have us being the way we are with you here, than telling you what to do and risking what we have....right?" Ian looked at me anxiously waiting for my response.
"Yes. You ARE right. When I got back here, I thought about everything I heard. I had to figure out what it meant, but I figured it out, and no, I wouldn't want you to be in charge of me. I would only want you around because you LIKED being around me. Not because you're trapped into it like a job. Besides...you're famous and busy, and you travel a lot...."
Ian gave me a hug. "I'm glad you agree. I was scared that you'd be mad that I ruined your chance to get into an apartment soon. It will happen, Janel. Just give it time. They just can't toss you into the world and say good luck. But I can wait, if you can. As long as we're together every day...."
"I'm not mad at you. You made the right choice. I'm so glad you thought of it that way. I don't understand how you see me as equal, though" I looked up at him, still in a half hug.
"Why wouldn't you see us as equal, Janel? You're just another person in the world, just like me. I'm just another person in the world just like you. Sure, our circumstances are different, but everyone is just....people in the world. Doing their best to get by. Right? And just because I'm famous doesn't make me any different. It's just a job, remember. It's my work. It's what I do. Not who I am inside. I just happen to do a job, that everyone SEES. Everyone knows me. That's all.
Don't ever see yourself as less than anyone else, Janel. Because you're not. Everyone has their own story. Their own hardships in life. Their own problems. Their own triumphs. And you're no different. I'm no different. Of course we're equal, Janel", Ian explained, rather passionately. I actually felt what he meant. I understood it. But I still couldn't see why someone like him would hang around someone like me. It was just something I'd have to accept. And I gladly did!
"I guess I see what you mean. I'll try to think that way. Oh, and thank you for ruining my chance to get out of here, Ian" I joked.
At first he gave a shocked look, but it was quickly replaced with him shaking his head in laughter after noticing the look on my face. He scooped me into another hug.
And we spent the entire day together. And it was great, as always. And I felt better and better throughout the day. By the time it was night, I felt almost like normal, so Ian took me out for dinner, at that burger place again. He said I needed a proper burger and fries now that I was recovered.