The Resident

Chapter 38

JANEL'S POV:

I can't believe I how fucking lucky THAT was. That neighbor being at the apartment door, telling Ian about my nightmares. I really thought I'd lost him again. I was confusing myself, though. I refused to take him back, but yet...I didn't want to let him go. I was officially a crazy woman. I was sure of it. I was more logical and level headed when I was alone and slow in the group home, I swear. Love is fucked up. It makes you not know WHAT the hell you want.
I didn't know what I wanted. But I DID know, that I was soooo relieved that Ian came back. And he'd have to sleep in my bed, so I wouldn't scream at night....bummer? Not so much.
Was I caving?
I couldn't. I just couldn't.
I mean, I could cave, but the fact that he cheated would still be right there between us.

I decided I should take a shower and be a human again. I did that, and I heard Ian talking on the phone when I was drying off. I think I heard him say "I came inside her". I could have sworn he said that. Who would he say THAT to? Either Bonnie or Stanley, I suppose.
Wait....did he tell one of them that I could be pregnant?
Yes.
Now I could sort of go back in my head and make out the rest of the conversation that I heard, but really couldn't hear that well. Something about worry when the time comes, and having enough stress right now.......he told someone I could be pregnant.
I couldn't believe I was saying that to myself. I could be carrying Ian's child.
What the hell WOULD we do if I were pregnant? Would we keep it? Would we not? Would we give it up? No. That wasn't even one of the possible options. I could never bring a baby into this world of my own, or Ians, and then give it away. It was either keep, or......end, for lack of a prettier term.
I decided not to think about it, just like Ian wasn't gonna.

I started to smell....food as I got dressed from my shower. I put on my cozy sweat pants. No need to be dressed to go nowhere. I almost didn't want to leave my room, and be sucked up into Ian's magnetic pull over me. I felt safe in here all alone, from everything about him being irresistable to me. But I couldn't just stay in here all day. Plus, I smelled food. And that made me hungry.
Hungry!!!??? I hadn't felt hungry in days! Having Ian here was working wonders. I was sure of it.
But how long would this last?

I went out and put my wet hair in a sloppy bun and peeked into the kitchen. Ian was on the phone, and talking music stuff, but sure enough, he was cooking food. A few different pans going on the stove. It smelled awesome. My stomach growled.
I watched him as he cooked and moved around the kitchen. He was so perfect. So cute. So handsome. So sexy. I loved his sort of chubby belly. I really did. It had this little pouch at the bottom of it, that I loved to run my hand over......
STOP!!!!!
I turned around all pissed off, and went to the couch and turned on the tv.
I checked my phone, and there was a missed call from Bonnie. I thought Ian talked to her......maybe she called him when I didn't answer. Well, there was nothing I needed to say, because I'm sure he told her everything. Including that we had sex, obviously, and that he 'came inside me'.
Jesus, Ian.

And just then, I noticed a tingly feeling in my lower stomach and my vagina. Just picturing Ian saying the words "I came inside her", got me all hot and bothered. How fucking pathetic of me!
I walked back to the kitchen, without even realizing it. I just....did. I realized it when I got to the door, and found myself staring at Ian again. For no particular reason. He still didn't see me, because the stove and counter was across from the doorway.
I stared at Ian, loving every second of what I saw. And when I stopped myself, I found that my hand was running lightly over my nipple, up and down.
I definitely had serious issues.

I sat on the couch again, and tried finding something on the tv. As usual, nothing great.
Pretty Woman was on. I guess I could watch that. And of course, I found a way to relate it to Ian and I.
He was rich, taking me, the poor girl, away into his life of awesomeness...
Oh STOP, Janel. God!!!!!!!!
Minutes later, Ian called me into the kitchen.
He had the table set, and only the light under the microwave on. He knew I hated bright lights. I liked natural light, and dim lights at night. It felt cozier.
"Eat, Janel. Please. I made a lot. Have some now, and some later, for dinner time. I didn't think we'd feel like cooking later." Ian said, with his arm out to the table.