The Resident

Chapter 8

IAN'S POV:

Even having a packed in schedule and being so busy all week, it ended up being a long ass week. A week and a day, to be exact. I couldn't stop thinking of Janel. I couldn't stop trying to imagine the feel of her face under my hands. I couldn't stop remembering her bright, innocent smiles. Her voice. Her humor. Everything.
Some nights, I'd lay in bed drunk after partying at endless after parties, and just let my tears flow for her.
I'd think of her chart, and the story of her life, and the things she'd told me, and I'd think of what it must be like to be her, and what it must have felt like to touch me for the first time. Hold my hands up to her face and feel my warmth.....and it would make me cry. A few times, depending on how the day was going, it made me punch the bed in pure anger that anyone could have hurt Janel like they did.
But thinking of how she took it upon herself to overcome so much fear and hardship, made me calm down and think good thoughts about her until I drifted to drunken sleep.

I did good all week, too. I didn't tell anyone about Janel. Didn't let it slip once. I made up stupid stories when I borrowed people's phones to call the group home. (I didn't want to use my own number, in case anyone discovered who I was, then it'd be in plain public!)
And honestly, what WOULD I tell the people around me? "Yeah, I like this girl.....she's great......she's really pretty, really nice, doesn't play games.....oh, and she lives in a group home with a bunch of mentally challenged and mentally ill people. But hey...she's just now learning to accept human physical contact!"
It was all so very strange when I'd think about it from someone else's eyes. But when I thought through my OWN eyes, everything made perfect sense to me. Even though...it didn't. And I knew this.
But I didn't care. Janel was more normal than half of the women I'd dated, and this was a true fucking fact.
I just hated keeping her a secret. I honestly would have told people I was close to, but I chose to not tell anyone. I could just see the headlines now. "Ian Sheer dating crazy woman in psych group home."
It just wouldn't be good publicity. The record companies would have my head served on a platter.
I just wished I could get her out of there somehow. Not for me, mainly....but for HER.
She was just rotting in there, year after year, with a folder full of government red tape bullshit.
But I knew her being out in the real world full time would be a HUGE step for Janel.
She'd need help adjusting and learning how to get by. Not that most people don't need help when they first start out....but she'd need more. I knew that. But I also knew that she was very smart, and I was sure she'd catch on fast, and be fine.

I was also sure that after feeling the pangs of missing her all week, and feeling my heart speed up when I'd hear her voice on the phone......
I was sure that I wanted her to be MINE.
I just wondered if she felt the same about me.
Hopefully, I was more to her than just a warm human who she trusted enough to touch.

Standing in her doorway after one week and one day, and seeing her eyes light up and twinkle as the biggest smile I'd ever seen spread across her face upon seeing me, I was pretty sure she felt the same about me as I did about her.

Every inch of my body wanted to sweep her up into my arms and spin her around and never put her down. Never let her leave my side.
So needless to say, it took every inch of my body to hold itself in place and deny that urge as she rushed over to me.
I did as I'd planned. As soon as she was close enough, I put my hands out towards her. And I waited for her to take them and put them wherever she wanted them. I hoped it would be her face. <3