The Resident

Chapter 5

IAN'S POV:

What a great show last night. I felt proud of myself. I usually feel good about how my shows go, but sometimes, I just get a better vibe from them. Maybe the audience was awesome. I don't know. I just didn't want to stop. Didn't want to leave the stage. Usually I'm sort of glad to be done at the end of that last song. But last night...I sang a few extra songs, much to the audience's delight.
Maybe I just needed to keep singing. Keep playing. For "therapy". Since I had started the day reading Janel's life story, and I was angry that she had been dealt such a terrible hand.
And if I had stopped my show with the usual song, I would have had to go back to my hotel room and probably think about Janel and her file. My manager asked me to go out after, but I just wasn't in the mood. And I was pretty exhausted from all the extra songs. It's exhausting putting all that energy out for the crowd. People don't know!

I finally arrived at Janel's door. Today was the last day I was in town, and I had to tell her I wouldn't be able to see for a week or so, until I had a few days with no shows, and I could spend them back here.
But after that.....I'd be done my tour. So I'd have months to do whatever, wherever. I thought I was gonna go back to the UK and see my family and friends, but I sort of decided I'd stay here.....get to know Janel more. Spend more time with her. I think it made her feel good, and I know it made me feel good.
Depending on how today goes, when I tell her I can't see her till possibly next week, that is. Maybe she'll be mad and not want to see me at all.
I had her file in a plastic store bag, to sneak back to Bonnie hopefully without being seen by anyone else. If she wasn't there, I'd have to keep it till next time. Or, maybe Janel could sneak it back to Bonnie. Good idea.

Much to my dismay, Tammi was at the reception desk. So I asked her if I could see Janel, and kept smiling through all of her jealous, dirty looks when her eyes motioned towards Janel's room. I sort of chuckled as I walked away. What a piece of work that lady is.

Janel's door was closed, so I knocked. She didn't answer. I tried again a few times, until I thought I heard the faint sound of music coming from her room. I opened the door a tiny crack, and saw her laying on her bed, with earphones on. The music was blasting, actually, now that the door was opened, I could hear it loud and clear, coming out of the earphones. She was listening to one of my songs.
I opened the door more, and waved to get her attention from the window.
Her eyes widened and she jumped a little bit, but immediately, a huge smile spread across her face, like a kid who sees her pile of presents under the Christmas tree.
I love her smile. It warms my heart. And this had been the biggest smile I'd seen from her yet.
It was contagious. I couldn't help but smile huge also.
She tore her headphones off, and sat up. My mind expected her to run over to me and grab me into a big hug. But then I remembered, as she sat there looking like she'd jump off the bed any second, but never did....she couldn't hug me.
And later today, when I leave, I won't be able to hug her goodbye.
That thought depressed me. But I kept smiling as I walked towards her and sat on her bed next to her.

"Hey Janel! How are you today?" I asked her excitedly.
"I"m great, now that you came back............how....are you today?" she repeated as if she was still learning how people greeted eachother.
'I'm good! I'm good. It's so great to see you. I missed you last night. I had to work all afternoon and night. But hey...I read through your file a little bit.....I'm done with it, but Tammi's at the desk out there, so should I just leave it with you and you can sneak it back to Bonnie whenever she's here next?" I got that overwith.
"Uhh.....sure. Did you....read anything........bad?" she asked me nervously.
"No no no.....I mean, well, yeah.....the stuff that happened in your life....was.....horrible. But nothing bad about YOU, Janel. I don't understand why you still live here, actually. You should have your own apartment, and a job, and a life outside of this place by now. Even your doctor says so on your chart..." I stopped, not wanting to say too much about her file. I didn't know how sensitive she might be about it.
"Yes. The doctor always tells me he wants to get me out of here soon, but he has to wait for the paperwork and all. I'm kind of scared, though. I wouldn't know what to do. But he says they'd put me somewhere where I could be coached through everything, until I learned it all and got the hang of it, then I'd be....free. It scares me though, because if I'm free, I'll have NO ONE around." she talked on and on, more than I ever heard her talk before. Telling her about leaving for the week was NOT gonna be easy, I was sure of it. She's in such a good mood today......and I might ruin it all.
She stopped talking and looked at me funny. Crap. She noticed the look on my face as I thought about leaving for the week. I just knew it.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
Yep. I just knew it. I don't have much of a poker face when something's bothering me. I gotta work on that.
"I'm just gonna say this now, and get it out of the way" she looked concerned. "I have to leave for work tonight, and I'll be in other states all week....so I won't be able to come hang out with you for a whole week. I'm sorry, Janel....but I promise, the second I'm done work, I'll come straight back here and we'll hang out a LOT more." I hurried and got it all out, so she wouldn't be left hanging.
I waited for her reaction. She was still looking at me, but I could tell she was taking it in. Finally she looked down and sighed.
"Well, that's a bummer dude", was her response.
I had to laugh. "Bummer dude?? Where did you hear THAT saying?" I had to know.
"From Mtv." she said shyly, as if she had realized she'd said a naughty word.
I cracked up more. "I like it! You're so funny......dude" I laughed at her.
She smiled as if she was silently laughing inside. And then I heard it.
First some gasps escaped her mouth, then finally an actual "ha ha ha" came from her smiling lips.
It even startled her, because she stopped smiling, and looked up at me immediately, shocked.
I stopped laughing and my mouth dropped open.
"Janel! I've finally heard you laugh!"
"I think so?" she said.
And then both of us started laughing together. Seeing her laugh more and more was making me laugh more and more. We laughed for probably a minute or two. She even laughed out a tear in her right eye. God, she was so cute. Every bone in my body wanted to grab her into a big bear hug at that moment. But I knew I couldn't. It was kind of torturous.
After our post laughter sighs, she finally said "I think I know that you'll come back to see me when you can. Right?" she asked, looking up at me expectantly.
"I absolutely PROMISE, Janel. It's gonna be a long, boring week without you."
"Ok. Good. Then I'll wait" she said, smiling to me.
She finally took the file from my hands, and put it under her pillow.
"How much time do you have today?" she asked me.
I told her we had the whole day until 4pm. That seemed to suit her just fine.
She went to her closet and grabbed a pink hoodie and pulled it on. "Would you like to walk around?"
"I'd love to", I said, standing up and following her out of her room.