STEFANO {Published/Sample Only}

48

Mark sat at the table first while I sank down next to him, his hand immediately dropping to my leg, resting there- and my eyes shot up but nobody looked twice. Nobody batted an eye, nobody cared.

I had pictured this day for years, before I even knew Mark. Sitting at a table with someone by my side- and no one giving a fuck. That it was normal- not newsworthy. The guys always dreamed about making more money, having more women, dominating the market- big fucking dreams, but mine were small- this was mine. Just being me at a table, sitting next to someone I could smile at, touch- with no one caring, no one commenting, no one bashing. Funny how most of the time their dreams seemed more likely than mine.

"Buen provecho!"

His mom clapped, Mark squeezed my leg, both waking me from the daze.

"Turkey?" His dad offered me the first cut, carving down the bird with a smile, presenting it to me like I was the prized guest. I had stepped into some alternate fucking universe, raising my plate towards him, while my boyfriend cuddled my side.

"Thank you." I set the plate back down, Mark leaned forward next to me, holding his plate out now, and my arm instinctively draped over his shoulders- flinching back immediately- but... they didn't care. I... could love Mark here. I slung my arm back over him, keeping my face towards the table, slowly raising my eyes, first over to his mom, looking out the corner of my eye- she was still fussing with Jacob. Then I rolled my eyes to his dad, watching him drop some turkey onto Mark's plate before twisting towards his sister. They really didn't care.

"You know it's rude if you don't eat on Thanksgiving."

I flashed my eyes next to me, meeting Mark's teasing grin.

"Do you not like turkey? Are we too down-home for you? Not 3-star- Michelin rated like your favorites in New York." He was laughing about the food, because this freedom was perfectly fucking normal for him.

"This is perfect." I felt the pressure behind my eyes, the quick glaze blurring them. This was not fucking happening. "I'll be right back," I whispered to him before addressing the table. "If you'll excuse me."

I bolted down a hall, falling back against the furthest closed door, tears drying, my vision finally clearing. I had everything anyone could ever ask for: looks, body, money, apartment, family, prestigious name, my company- but it was a deal with the devil. You can have it all, except the one thing you truly need to be happy. I had to represent, always be fucking perfection or at least look the part. What they never saw was how fucking lonely it was without love, and how much it hurt listening to them bash every gay man that walked by, screaming slurs- forgetting about it two seconds later while the words haunted me for days, weeks. How even in the happiest moments I had this nagging fear, guilt, emptiness- a piece of me that wanted to be acknowledged but always had to be stomped away. I could make anything happen, buy it or demand it- except acceptance.

"Stefano?"

I heard the steps and a second later Mark was turning down the hall, smiling. "The bathroom's actually down that hall over there."

"I just needed a minute."

"Are you alright? Is it the food? My mom tends to over spice everything."

"No, food's fine. I've always eaten with my family, this is so different."

"I'm sorry you came here instead," he shrugged.

"No baby," I reached for his hands, pulling him towards me. "This is all I've ever wanted, to be with you, with family, and not feel different, not feel out of place. I want this with my family too. I want to have you next to me the same way Gav has Sadie next to him." I slid my arms around his back, locking him against me. "I'm serious, I'm gonna tell them at the Twins birthday. I'll have Gav and Giorgia at my side and if all hell breaks loose then I have you close by too."