STEFANO {Published/Sample Only}

51

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "FUCK!" I plowed through the garage door, racing, pacing. What the fuck had just happened! "Fuck!" I had planned, meticulously fucking obsessed over this moment and she fucking outs us like that.

And Mark! Fuck! I did it again- slamming the door in his face, maybe even hitting him- fuck I didn't even know.

The door behind me pounded open, then smacked shut- my feet like bricks- knowing it was Luca.

"I will handle it Stefano! Don't worry. I have zero fucking tolerance for that fucking vile, even if it's a fucking joke- she will be handled."

I turned, meeting his raging black eyes, the anger seeping from his skin. I couldn't do it anymore... "She's not wrong."

"Di che cazzo stai parlando? Did you not hear what she insinuated- calling a Romano a fucking frocio! That you were sleeping with a fucking guy! No one disrespects this family, no one disparages our fucking name! You should be fucking livid- she called you a fag!"

"Gay, for god's sake just say gay."

"Why are you not charging out there?" He stomped, hand flying towards the door. "Why are you sitting in here silent!"

Silent is what I'd been my entire life. "She's not wrong Luca." I tried to look him in the eye, but I'd seen that look before- that black spreading, his eyes turning to marble- the soul leaving his body. But there was no turning back- this was the point of no return. "I am... gay."

"No your not!" His hands shot up in front of him, palms pushing air. "Watch your fucking mouth Stefano- this is not shit you joke about! Mio fratello non è un frocio! No! No! You would never disgrace this family like that. Stefano- you are not a fag!"

"Don't say it like that."

"Say it like that," he scoffed. "There is no other way to say it! YOU would never disrespect this family, YOU would never insult this family's fucking name, YOU would never tarnish the legacy that is Romano! YOU... you... you are not fucking doing this!"

"I've lived with this burden long enough! You think I chose this fucking life! This life chose me! And I've spent it plagued by the thoughts of what it would do to this family, every fucking day- for forever!"

"Forever!" He stepped back, hand flying to his watch squeezing it into his wrist. "Jesus... how long..."

"How long have I been gay?" Like I fucking decided on this yesterday. "Just as long as you've been straight. And... I'm not just fucking that guy out there, we're together. He means a lot to me and I just fucking slammed a door in his face!"

His head whipped towards the garage, slowly rolling back my way. "That guy?" He dropped his eyes to the floor, his chest rising and falling in waves, his hands clenching to fists. "You're lucky mamma e papà are dead. This would have fucking killed them!"

And it had... at least that's what I let myself believe. But I had done nothing wrong! Being me wasn't a fucking crime and I was done feeling like it was! "You have no room to fucking talk about them!" My arm was out, shaking, finger pointing right at him. "Mamma was done with you! She was so fucking sick of your bullshit that she walked away- disowned you! She died hating you! Not me, you were the fucking disappointment! So don't come at me with disgrace and dishonor until you check yourself in the fucking mirror Luca."

"You make me sick!" He spat. "Leave. Get the fuck away from this famiglia! You don't have the right to use our name anymore, you don't have the right to sit at our fucking table. I have never been so fucking disgusted in my life!" He grabbed the door, whipping it open, then slamming it shut behind him, rattling the entire house.