I Have Loved You Wrong [Ruin & Lily]

Kabanata 23

The sweet and caring Kuya Ruin was only short-lived. After treating me like a princess and giving me all I wanted and needed that night of Saturday and the whole day of Sunday, he returned asshole again on the Monday.

“How about we watch a movie this Friday night? I promise, I will be there this time,” he said to Cindy, even raising his right hand to make amends for canceling their date.

I stood beside his car while he was busy talking to her, and from the distance, I could practically see Cindy squirming at what he said.

“Do you promise?” she asked as she fluttered her eyelids.

Kuya Ruin smirked and nodded his head at her, tapos ay tumingin sa akin, tila ba sinasadyang ipakita at iparinig ang lahat ng mga ito.

Did he want to show me how flirt was he? Hindi ba siya informed na aware na ako roon? He didn’t have anything to prove to me anymore. He was a fucking flirt. A manwhore. A disgusting playboy. Period.

“I promise, sweetie,” he sid with a wink.

“I will be looking forward to that,” Cindy replied in glee.

Nag-iwan ng isang malanding ngisi at kindat si Kuya Ruin sa kaniya bago nagpaalam na aalis na. Nagtutumili naman sa kilig si Cindy habang tumatabi sa akin nang makaalis na si Kuya, halos mapunit na nga rin ang manggas ng uniform ko sa kahihila niya.

“What do you think my chances are?” tanong niya.

My forehead furrowed at her.

“Huh? Anong sinasabi mo? What chances are you talking about?” I asked.

“Sa kapatid mo! Sa tingin mo ba ay may chance na maging girlfriend niya ako? Na maging kami ng kuya mo? What do you think, Lily?” sunud-sunod na tanonh niya.

I blinked rapidly, my heart pounding in my chest. Each time she mentioned about it, a wave of jealousy was washing over me, intensifying my resentment toward my own circumstances.

Bakit ba kasi kailangang sa akin pa mangyari ito? Bakit sa lahat naman ng lalaki sa mundo ay sa kapatid ko pa kailangan kong magkagusto?

“It’s up to him. Pero boto ako sa ‘yo ,” sabi ko at nagsasabi ako ng totoo. Kasi, gaya nga ng sinabi ko, ‘di hamak naman na mas gusto ko siya para kay Kuya kaysa roon sa mga babaeng dinadala niya sa bahay at kinakama.

“Aww! That is so sweet of yoy, Lily!” kinikilig na sabi niya.

I smiled at her, slowly accepting in my heart that I would never be the girl for Kuya Ruin. Kaya kung hindi ako, tutulungan ko na lang siyang makahanap ng babaeng mabuti at tingin ko’y karapat-dapat para sa kaniya, despite how hard and painful it would be for me. Dahil sa mundong ito na ginagalawan natin, it longed ago defined the relationship’s acceptable boundaries. Na dapat hanggang dito lang ang kesyo ganitong pag-ibig at mali kapag lumampas na, na kapag sobra na, and me liking him more than a sister should, definitely crossed the line. At kung hahayaan ko pa ang sarili na mas mahulog sa kaniya, kung mas palalalimin ko pa ang nararamdamang ito, tiyak na susunugin na ang kaluluwa ko sa impyerno.