I Have Loved You Wrong [Ruin & Lily]

Kabanata 19

Napatanaw ako sa labas ng bintana at natulala sa kawalan, malalim na napapaisip kung sino na naman kaya iyong babaeng hinahalikan ni Kuya Ruin doon sa latest post niya sa Instagram. She was a different girl from the girl he was kissing the last time. The girl on the current picture was an ash blonde, while the girl before that was a strawberry blonde. Actually, he was frequently spotted with different girls at every frat party he attended. Bawat post, iba ‘yong kasama niya, iba ‘yong hinahalikan niya. And what was bothering me the most was Nicolétte, where she was, why she was not with him, and what happened to them. The last I remembered, they were planning on going to Harvard together.

Sighing deeply, I looked down my cellphone again and pushed my thumb finger over the direct message button, at nadismaya na lang muli sa nakikita. Napakahaba na noong mga messages ko sa kaniya pero wala siyang nire-reply-an ni isa, and I wondered if he even bothere opening it. It was annoying that the more he became active on social media, the more we could not contact him or communicate with him. Mabuti na lang at walang social media ang parents namin dahil kung mayroon, hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman nila kapag nakita nila itong mga post niya.

I took another deep sigh and began typing messages to him—messages that were waiting to be ignored by him again.

    lilyianthe: Nag-aalala na sina Papa at Mama sa ‘yo.

    Bakit hindi mo raw sinasagot ang mga sulat at tawag nila?

    Anyway, I graduated today, Kuya.

I turned off my phone after sending those messages to him, just in time when we finally arrived in our condominium building.

I was right when I said that it was going to be a feast at home. Sobrang daming niluto ni Mama ganoong tatatlo lang naman kaming kakain ng mga ito. Really, when it came to cooking, she was the best at that, the only one you couldbtrust. Actually, I tried learning it several times during the summer, but it would always end up with either me burning the food or it would turn out undercooked. Kaya naman hindi na ako sumubok pang muli, leaving me hoping that my future husband would be good at doing it, kasi, baka pareho lang kaming mamatay sa gutom kapag nagkataon.

Natawa ako sa naisip at napailing-iling.

What husband were you talking about, Lily? Silly! Graduate ka pa lang ng high school at hindi college! Why didn’t you find yourself a boyfriend first? No, scratch that! Why didn’t you take studies seriously and graduate with flying colors? Come on, it was time for you to think about adulting! Make your Papa and Mama proud!

But huh! I would definitely find one in college! I had heard that college dudes were super cool and cute and boyfriend material. They just had to wait for me. Lily Ianthe’s allure was irresistible, anyway, proven and tested. Marami namang nagtangkang manligaw na mga kaklase ko sa akin. Nagtangka was the word. Because they had no balls. All of them! Bigla-bigla ba namang aatras! Sasabi-sabihin nilang manliligaw daw sila sa akin tapos kinabukasan ay ayaw na raw. What the hell? But it was their lost not mine. Besides, I was done with high schoolers. I was over petty relationships. I wanted a guy, a real man. And maybe, I would find my forever and the one in the university I would go to.