I Have Loved You Wrong [Ruin & Lily]

Kabanata 15

The urge to throw myself at him, snake my arms in a tight embrace around his body, and whisper words of longing in his ears were too powerful it was shaking my whole world. Mabuti na lang at may hawak ‘yong magkabilang kamay ko at napigilan akong gawin iyon. Sa halip ay humigpit ang yakap ko sa teddy bear at bulaklak na bigay ni Migs sa akin, doon kumapit, because it was just so frustrating that he could easily make me weak and breathless just with his presence alone. Ni wala pa nga siyang ginagawa. Nakatayo lang siya roon sa may gate at humihinga pero heto’t bumaligtad na agad ang buong mundo ko.

Tears prickled in my eyes as realization hit me. Iyong sinasabi kong galit para sa kaniya ay isang malaking kahangalan lang pala. Because the screaming truth was, I missed him.

A lot.

Nilunok ko ang mga salitang iyon na nais kumawala sa bibig ko at pinilit ang mga mata na mag-iwas ng tingin sa kaniya ngunit tila may sariling mga isip ang mga ito. I just simply could not look away.

Because how? How could you look away from someone you had been wanting to see the most again? How could you tear your eyes apart from a gorgeous, handsome man? It had only been barely a year but a lot had already changed in him physically. I meant, a lot had improved in him. He looked a lot more foreign now. Ano bang hangin o pagkain ang mayroon sa New York at mas gumuwapo siya nang ganito ngayon?

“Anong oras na?” kunot-noong tanong niya, may banta at galit sa tinig.

But my ears refused to listen to him. Right now, it was my heart the only organ that was functioning and the harsh beatings of it made it unable for me to hear.

“I am asking you. What time is it now, Lily?” he repeated asking, his voice a fraction louder and sounding annoyed.

Kumurap ako at napabalik sa sarili sa ginamit niyang tinig. Tumaas ang kilay ko sa kaniya at biglang nainis sa inaasal niya.

Ano ba ang ikinagagalit niya? Kararating lang niya ay galit na agad siya? Wala na ba siyang ibang gagawin kundi ang magalit sa akin?

“I said what time is it now?” he asked once more.

“Ano ba ang pakialam mo?” I bitched out.

“You are still a fucking child at nasa kalsada ka pa ng ganitong oras?” patuloy na sermon niya.

Mas tumaas ang mga kilay ko sa sinabi niya at napangiwi na rin. The heck?! Anong bata? Hindi na ako bata! For your information, Ruin Sebastian, maraming labi na akong nahalikan! Marami ng mga lalaki ang dumaan sa buhay ko! And that was for sure not a child thing to do!

“Answer me,” he demanded.

Nagpanting ang mga tainga ko at napatingin sa kamay niya.

“What’s the purpose of your wristwatch kung magtatanong ka lang din pala ng oras sa iba?” I sarcastically replied, equally annoyed at him. Naghuhumiyaw sa palapulsuhan niya iyong mamahaling relo niya at magtatanong pa siya ng oras sa akin? Gago ba siya? And what was he doing here outside? Hinihintay ba niya akong umuwi? Really? Because the last time I checked, he didn’t give a damn about me. And I didn’t give a damn about him anymore, too!