I Have Loved You Wrong [Ruin & Lily]

Kabanata 29

Using all my strength, I pulled from Siegfrid’s hug, pushed him, and quickly ran away, my head spinning like crazy, my legs shaking bad.

They all must be fucking crazy!

Damn it! I hadn’t even donated blood, pero pakiramdam ko ay kinuhanan na nila ako ng galon-galong dugo. I felt dizzy. I felt so goddamn light-headed!

“Lily!”

I ran faster hearing Siegfrid’s voice behind me. Pakiramdam ko nga ay susubsob na rin ako at dadapa sa pagmamabilis, but maybe that was much better. Para mauntog ako at magising na sa bangungot na ito.

Nababaliw na sila!

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang matanaw ko na ang sasakyan ko. Humihingal na inabot ko ang pintuan at saka binuksan, quickly settling myself inside the driver’s seat and pulling it from the parking lot without bothering putting my seatbelt.

From the rear-view mirror, I saw Siegfrid catching his breath and murmuring curses while looking at my car. Naalarma ako at binilisan ang kilos nang makita siyang lumapit sa isa pang sasakyan na nakaparada at saka pumasok doon.

I swerved the steering wheel until I finally got out of the parking lot, habang natatawa at naiiyak.

I must be crazy as well.

Tangina naman!

Why couldn’t I have a normal life?

Bakit hindi matapus-tapos ‘tong gulo sa buhay ko?

Once and for all, anak ako nina Papa at Mama! They couldn’t lie about my existence as well! They couldn’t lie twice! They already had done that to my brother, at sobrang sama nila kung pati ‘yong buong pagkatao ko ay isang kasinungalingan lang din pala!

I screamed at the top of my lungs while hitting the steering wheel seeing the goddamn traffic at the line of my sight.

Napasubsob ako sa manibela at doon ay humagulgol ng iyak. Nababaliw lang sila! They couldn’t be telling me the truth! Kasi hindi ko kakayanin! Hinding-hindi ko matatanggap na hindi ako tunay na anak ng mga kinagisnan kong magulang. And I couldn’t, could never forgive them from lying to me!

I was a Figuerroa, flesh and blood!

Nang umandar ang traffic ay muli kong mabilis na pinaandar ang sasakyan, cursing at the sight of the black Range Rover that Siegfrid was driving behind me.

I wasn’t a reckless driver but the situation was losing me my sanity. Every parts of my body was stiff and I was seeing nothing but black now.