I Have Loved You Wrong [Ruin & Lily]

Kabanata 26

A text notification pulled me away from those thoughts. Isang ngiti ang sumilay sa labi ko nang makita na kay Kuya Ruin galing iyong text. But that smile was only brief, disappointment followed after reading the content of his text.

    Babe: I won’t be able to pick you up. I have something important to attend to. Please do not wait for me tonigh. I won’t be coming home.

Ilang beses akong kumurap sa screen, tinitiyak kung tama ba iyong mga nabasa ko at hindi lang namalikmata, but that was what really his text to me.

What was wrong with him? Why did the text feel strange? Why did it feel so cold? It was not like him! Nasaan ‘yong endearment? Nasaan ‘yong heart emojis?

    Ako: May problema ba?

I sent, then bit the insides of my lower lip while waiting for his reply, just stopping myself from overthinking. Pero nagdaan ang maraming mga minuto na wala akong natanggap ni isang reply mula sa kaniya.

I shook my head agrresively and forced to ignore the growing apprehension inside my chest. Siguro ay busy lang siya dahil malapit na ang graduation nila. Maybe he was in the middle of his graduation pictorial or practice right now, whatever. Kasi wala naman akong natatandaang pinag-awayan naming dalawa o hindi pinagkasunduan para maging cold siya sa akin. We already settled that thing of me lying about school. We even cuddled to sleep last night.

Lily, you were just overthinking!

You were worrying for nothing!

    Ako: Okay. See you tomorrow!

    Ako: I love you.

Pinuno ko ng maraming iba’t ibang heart emojis ang text na iyon. Then, I waited again for a reply but still none came. Malalim na napabuga na lang ako ng hininga at itinago ang cellphone sa bulsa ng uniform ko. Breathing in and out, I stood nervously in front of the faculty room and brought myself to knock on the door. Pakikiusapan ko ‘yong isang professor namin na baka maaari pa akong makapagpasa noong requirements niya kahit huli na. I already promised Kuya Ruin that I would study hard and do good in my studies and I was not going to break that promise to him. I would strive to be the best girl for him. I would work hard to make him proud of me and so he wouldn’t think again that he was being a bad influence to me.

I hated myself so much that he ended up thinking that way. Where in fact, he was the very reason why I looked forward to tomorrow, the only person I saw in my future. Na sa kabila noong mahirap at malabo na relasyon naming dalawa ay siya lang ‘yong nakikita kong kasama.

Hindi mapagsidlan ‘yong saya ko nang mapapayag ko iyong professor namin. Of course, the scolding was still there, pero mabuti na lamang at mabait siya at napaki-usapan ko. At siyempre ay nakatulong din ‘yong irresistible charm ko!