Worthless (Matt Espinosa Fanfic)

Chapter 29

(I listened to 'a little too much' by Shawn while reading and I cried. Idk man all this emotional stuff Ya know)

"She was my old girl friend..." Matt exclaimed as we laid on the rooftop of the hotel looking at the stars.

"What was she like?" I asked.

Matt smiled at my question and took a deep breath.

"She had long brown hair and bright blue eyes, but nothing like Nash's." He laughed. "She was very sweet and caring and made sure she was always making someone happy. One day the happy, caring girl I knew turned into someone different. She was bullied. It had gotten too far and I didn't know. She had depression and hated her self. She hated life, but wanted to love it all at the same time. She loved to travel and laugh. No matter what."

"What happened?" I asked sitting up looking down at him.

"She let it get to her. It was all too much for her. She had a big heart. She always told me that no matter where we were in our lives she wanted me to be happy. She didn't care who i loved or who I was with, just to be happy. She left me and ever since then I try my best to be like her.." He trailed off.

He sat up and put his arms on his knees. I leaned against him and rubbed his back.

"She seems like an amazing girl." I smiled.

He looked down at me and kissed the top of my head.

"Sometimes it gets hard, but I know that no matter where I am she's there telling me not to give up" he spoke.

A tear fell down his cheek and I looked at him. I wiped it away and he smiled.

"thank you.. for listening. Thank you for making me happy." He smiled.

"Matthew, I love you. Remember, you're never alone." I said.

We laid back down and he wrapped his arms around me. Matthew means the world to me. After all of this it clears it up.

"So that's why you did this?" I asked

He signed and stared away from me.

"I don't know. Part of the reason, yes, but also fame just got to much for me" he stated "I thought you would never love me again Avery. I thought you would leave me for Sammy"

He turned towards me with regret in his eyes. They became glossy and he quickly wiped it away.

"No Matthew. Even if something happens to us and you move on I won't be able to. I can't let you go. I can say sammy has been here for me, but no one has ever meant this much to me like you do. You make me feel special and like I belong in the world." I said.

It's weird. I thought I was the only depressed and suicidal one.

"Someday we will all find someone who makes us happy... and I think I found that someone." Matt smiled.

He stood up and looked down at me. He had a small smile and I saw he was relieved and seemed as if he had had the world lifted off of his shoulders.

"You're pretty cool" he laughed.

He reached out his hand and helped me up.

"I know" I smiled.

He laughed and we walked off of the rooftop, down to our hallways our room was at. I would be sharing a room with Matt, instead of Shawn. I don't want Matt having these thoughts. I hope it doesn't happen again. We walked into our room and Matt walked over to the couch and turned on the TV.