FNAF on Drugs: Bonnie on Crack, 5 Nerds at Freddy's, and other jacked-up stories

Mission Failure

ONCE UPON A TIME:
Foxy and Mike (sitting on the couch together, arms over each other's shoulders): Finally, a day we can spend together without-
*glass cracking*
*author smashes through the front window and front-flips into the room*
Foxy and Mike: DA HECK
Author (wearing sunglasses): Get in the van
Mike: WHAT VAN?!
Foxy: Not this again.
*a white van drives through the wall*
Foxy (angrily): YOU GUYS ARE PAYING FOR THE DAMAGES!
Naz (steps out of the van wearing shades): Get in. *shoves Foxy and Mike in the back*
Mike: Wat is going on.
*all the animatronics are tied up in the back with gags in their mouths*
Clueless: Onward!
Mike: Et tu, Clueless?
Clueless (insane grin): Yup.
Author: Let us be off!
*author drives off a cliff*
Freddy (slightly muffled): WHY ME
Naz: Why all of us?
Author: Agent Crack!
Naz (straightens back): What's up?
Author: Fire the guns! Our target is just up ahead!
Foxy: And who might that be?
Clueless (angrily): The guy who stole our tomatoes!
Lauren (innocently): And since we KNOOOOOOW how much you two *points at Foxy and Mike* like tomatoes, we decided to ruthlessly drag you two along without giving either of you much of a choice, because we're a bunch of jack wagons like that.
Foxy (picks up Mike by the back of his shirt collar and opens the side door to the van): that does it we're out of here.
Author: Fine.
Naz: Why did you let them leave?!
Author (grins): Because I put a bomb in Foxy's shirt.
*loud explosion*
Foxy: AUUUUUUUTHOOOOOORRR...
THE END