Photosynthisis

Chapter 10.5: Kaze and Hawks.

~This chapter is written from Kaze's point of view. All chapters like this will have a similar warning to avoid confusion~

What in the fuck is Terra thinking?

I told her to not be around Bakugo. Nothing good comes from meeting your idols, and why does that idiot bastard Hawks trust him so much? Makes no god damn sense.

Once I get to my room and grab my phone along with the stupid feather I was forced to keep near me 'at all times' I crack the window and jump down using my wind quirk to slow my descent to the ground. I don't really care if I get caught, at this point i'm far too pissed off, so much so my fur is standing on end.

I arrive at the park and glare at the feather summoning a small tornado and aiming it directly at the little red tracking device to get his attention. Within a few moments a gust of wind blows at me and Hawks is standing in front of me seemingly unphased. I know I went a ways away from the school but for him to be here so quickly is... odd.

"Geez Kid, whats got you all riled up?" He asks, immediately dodging a wind blast. Seeing that i'm angry, he takes a more defensive stance. "The fuck Kaze? I just landed. Use your words."

"Are you serious!?" His face looks confused. I take in a steady but angry breath. "You asked Bakugo to be her firepower. What? Am I not good enough anymore?" I summon another wind blast firing it, backed with all of my anger and frustration, once again he effortlessly moves out the way. It's times like this i'm reminded why he's the number two hero. "I'm supposed to be her firepower. Me! Not anyone else."

"So he finally said something?" He sighs moving out of the way of yet another blast. I'm starting to grow angrier with every passing second and passing blast.

"Kaze stop this." He flutters his wings as he lands. "I'm doing this for you as well. Can't you see that? Your entire life has been all about Terra. I understand she is family to you, she is to all of us, but seriously?" He flies back into the air when I try to hit him again. I want to knock his ass out of the sky. He could at least pretend to feel challenged. Before I know it, he swoops down and holds the feather up to my neck. "I said stop. Don't make me say it again."

I guess i've finally made him angry enought to act. I glare at him and don't move a muscle. He would never hurt me like this but the fear is still palpable. His gold eyes typically so soft are stern.

"Why?" I sound defeated but there's no real point in trying to hide it now. Hiding emotions is easier when you can slap the bandaide of anger over them. "My whole reason for being here was to keep her safe. Why are you taking that away from me? What use am I to her now?"

Hawks rolls his eyes and sighs. "Her brother Kaze... That asshole 'Dabi' has robbed you of a good life." He adds extra sting to Touya's alternate personalities name. "Let me ask you a question, why do you think you're here?"

"Because Touya told me to protect her and as her best friend, that's my responsibility," I answer and relax my pose. There's approximately zero point in keeping a fighting stance right now. Hawks would wipe the floor with me and not even break a sweat, he's proved that much already.

"See? That right there. You've made your life all about her but what about you?" He softens his tone and takes the blade down away from my throat now that i've calmed. Still I freeze as realization washes over me. "I'm trying to let you have that same happiness you always wanted for Terra. You say she deserves it, but what about you Kaze? Don't you deserve it too?"

"Why does everyone keeps saying that? First you, then Kirishima, Deku, Todoroki, and even Terra. Why?" I begin to feel myself crack. These last couple of weeks have been hard on my mental state and it's finally showing. "Why damn it!? What use am I if I can't even be seen as strong enough to protect her anymore?"

Hawks walks over to me and I feel his wings pull me into a tight hug. I try to fight but lose all strength in my body and will. Once I relax he speaks. "Kaze. You're still very strong but you deserve every bit of happiness in life as she does. You'll always be 'useful' to her. You're her brother. Her bestfriend. Stop fighting that." I feel him huff a long breath. I want to believe him... "So let me ask you another question. What do you want in life? What are your dreams?"

There was that question again. Iida asked me that and I couldn't answer him before. "I-I don't know....I don't know." I finally give. All of the pain i've keep hidden comes rushing up like a tsunami. I hold onto Hawks and cry. I don't like thinking of things like this. When life is protecting Terra it's easy... but what am I supposed to do now when my life's for me?

"Listen to me kid, you deserve every bit of happiness you want for Terra. I saw how you smiled at Yaoyorozu. You never smile at anyone like that, minus Terra, and even then its rare. I even saw you hang out with Midoriya." I give him a skeptical look. He doesn't patrol around where we were so how could he have seen us?

"I just so happen to be out on my duties and I saw you." He shrugs deflecting my questioning gaze. "You looked so happy Kaze. Really happy. You were laughing and having a good time." He's right. I was having fun with them. I thought I would never get along with anyone and yet here I am wanting to be around them all deep down but not trusting my own emotions.

"Even if you don't want to be a hero, you should still have a life. Let them take over. You've done your share of keeping her safe, now it's time for you to live. You can always be there for her but know other people care for her and you too. Do you understand me?" He pulls away from me and I take a moment to catch my breath.

I don't say anything at first, staying there with a lost gaze to my eyes. He snaps a finger in my face and I jolt back to reality. "I understand, but Hawks, I'm scared. I don't know what I want."

"That's okay. Not everyone knows what they want at first. Hell grown adults don't know what they want half the time. That's the point of growing up." Hawks pets my head and I instantly start to purr. "Just take it one day at a time. If Terra needs you, then go to her, other than that let her live her life and you live yours okay?"

"I will try. I will try my hardest... but... Why them? Kirishima I understand... Bakugo... Not so much." He's never answered that part.

"They wont hurt her. They both care for her so much already. I can tell. A brothers intuition I guess." His smile shuts down any arguments I could have had. I can't really argue that logic either. I guess he sees something in Bakugo I don't or maybe, i'm unwilling to. Plus i'm not going to be the one to tell him what he's seeing from Kirishima is romantic. Bird brain might be smart about something's but romantics was never a strong suit.

I take a deep breath and shake my head walking up to Hawks and hugging him tightly. This is more physical contact than I think i've ever had with either of my older brothers but it feels right for the time. "Thanks for always looking out for me. I'll go home now and sleep this off. Please, stay safe out there... Keigo.." I don't use his name often and it brings a smile to his face.

"Alright, Kaze. Keep your head up. Take it easy, yeah?" He pets me one last time before taking off into the night. Just before he gets out of ear shot he yells back. "Give little bird a hug for me when you see her next, okay?" And with that, he's gone.

I make my way back to my room and hop into bed. I send Terra an apology text for my outburst, making a mental note to apologize fully later. Sleep is over taking me quickly. Its been a very long day.

"Live for yourself, Kaze."

Yeah, but what the hell does that even mean...