Wife of Bellatrix Lestrange

I Can't Live

Tw: suicidal thoughts

It was early morning, so early that you were watching the sunrise. You were so tired from not sleeping the night before, but you couldn't sleep. Bellatrix had left yesterday and she wasn't back. You couldn't sleep without her cuddles and her whispers throughout the night. You were also too busy hating yourself to sleep. If you were being honest, if she left her knife here, you probably would have ended it all. You never actually considering going back to your family, the people who didn't accept you. Ever since you met Bella, you were happy. Sure, okay, you had never expected to be a murderer, but you liked it. It was satisfying, and it made Bella happy, which made you happy. You would kill to be with her, literally. You just hadn't expected that letter. It's just been so long that it threw you off guard. God, I can't live like this. I need her back, you thought. It was too quiet without her. You missed everything about her. What have I done?
"Excuse me, master y/n?" you heard a shill voice say, breaking you out of your thoughts, and thank goodness, cause you were about to go down another dark path.
"Yes?" you asked meekly.
"I was wondering if Master Bella is coming to breakfast? I couldn't find her".
"No, no she's not. We got into uh- a fight," you manage to respond.
"Oh," he says uncomfortably and begins to walk away, but then stops to say, "I know I'm just an elf, but can I say something?"
"Please," you say, not wanting to be trapped in your thoughts again.
"Master Bella is scary, I know, but she's very much driven by passion. If she didn't love you as much as she did, she wouldn't be as mad. She feels much love and passion for you, and even though she doesn't forgive easily, she wants you back the way you were. I think you should go to her," he said wisely. You were honestly shocked, you had to give him more credit.
"Like a dramatic run to her kinda thing?" you asked.
"Yes, as long as it's driven by passion".
"You're right! Thank you. Maybe hold off on the breakfast a bit".
"Of course, master".

You had no idea where she was, but you apparated to the first inn you could think of, which just so happened to be the Leaky Cauldron. When you got there, you had a feeling she was there, because something about the place was definitely off. All the workers looked dazed. Then it hit you: they were under the imperius curse. That made perfect sense. How else would any respectable inn owner let the most powerful dark wizard of all time stay there? Bella was smart, always thinking of everything. Since these people were half in a daze, you easily passed them to go upstairs to the rooms. Unsure where she was, you decided to knock on the first door at the top of the stairs. The door opened only a crack, and you could see the person inside was shaking.
"Y/n," said the unknown woman, terrified. Her face was a ghostly white. Well, she's obsessed seen me in the newspapers, you thought.
"Have you seen Bellatrix?" you asked the women.
"I-" she began, scared. You pushed her inside her room and up against the wall, your wand at their throat.
"Answer me or I'll fucking kill you," you yelled. Wow, you thought, how could I ever consider not liking this.
"Last night, she came here. It was terrifying, she was cursing everyone. I've been too scared to leave my room".
"What room is she in?" you asked.
"The last one, at the end of the corridor," she whimpered.
"Brilliant, thank you," you said, leaving her and rushing to that room. You knock on the door quickly, and Bella opens it.
"Y/n, it's you," she said, and you could tell she was surprised to see you.
"Of course it's me. You fucking think I could last a day without you?" you ask, incredulous.
"But the letter?"
"Bella, if you had left your knife at home I would have killed myself. I actually cannot live without you".
"What? Really?" her voice and eyes filled with fear. She turned away, and you saw tears brimming in her eyes, some spilling over.
"Yes," you say, your tone softer than it was before, "I need you".
"Why didn't you come sooner?"
"Because you were right, I needed to figure things out on my own. Plus, I'm kind of scared of you," you admitted, and she laughed. She wiped her eyes quickly from the tears.
"I don't bite you know," she joked.
"Eh, tell that to the marks on my thighs". She laughed, and pulled you into a hug.
"Sorry about all this. I'm just so scared to lose you. You know you're the only person in my life who I trust completely," she said, playing with your hair.
"Same with me. I'm sorry too, it's just been so long since I've heard from them, you know?" you said, referring to your immediate family.
"Well, I think we should go home and you can make it up to me," she said, with a smirk, "maybe I will bite".

Once you were outside, she turned back towards the pub.
"I never want to stay here again," she said, but the tone of her voice worried you.
"What did you have in mind?" 
"Let's burn this place down," she told you, excitedly. You agreed, and pointed your wands there, the place erupting in flames. She danced around happily, then pulled you into a passionate kiss.

Authors note: this was a roller coaster of a chapter! Sorry, I didn't have time for smut, that'll be all next chapter.