Arcadia 11

Thirty-six

⚠️ TW: there is a panic attack in this chapter. Proceed with caution! ⚠️

Markie Tuan was tired. He'd missed lunch, didn't take his nap, and now he was in the car and everyone around him was being so loud. Baba had stopped playing with his hair and Jaebeom had let go of his hand, leaving him all alone and scared to open his eyes, he didn't want to see if they'd actually left him, or worse... what if he were surrounded by strangers, or what if they were monsters! He let his mind run with all these thoughts, shrinking further and further into his fears, not realizing he'd begun crying silently.

Youngjae, as usual, was the first to notice and immediately jumped into action.

"Markie, sweetheart." He cooed, gaining everyone's attention. "What is it? What's wrong?" He asked, wishing he were sitting next to the baby so he could pull him into a hug.

Markie opened his eyes, zeroing in on Youngjae and his big brown eyes. Calming just the slightest, because his Jae-Hyung was there. He made desperate grabby hands at the male, whining loudly when all he got was a sad shake of the head.

"You can't move right now." He softly chided, ignoring the looks from both Jinyoung and BamBam, they would get an explanation later, right now he was focused on his Little. Jackson and Jaebeom looked guilty as they sat next to their baby.

They'd learned the hard way that an unexpected touch while he was so far down could trigger an anxiety attack, and no one wanted to see their precious baby so distraught again.

Jackson had only been a foot away, his head bent towards his laptop while his body faced the Little on the floor. Most days that would be fine, but Markie had been unusually clingy that day, he would zone out and grow easily frightened. In the beginning it only took a few calls of his name to snap him out of it. As the day progressed, the more he zoned out, his eyes fixing on a point and this distant almost longing look would grace his face.

As he sat there on the plush carpet, a pacifier in his mouth, his Tiger and Elephant on the floor next to him. His mind had been half in baby-space half Big and the back and forth was hard for him to deal with. Whenever he'd surface from his headspace he immediately missed the comfort and security it brought him. Causing him to fall back down into headspace rather harshly. He zoned out so far, he didn't hear the excited call of his name, the door slamming shut behind him, or the thundering footsteps of his Gyumie-Hyung. The world around him gone while he fought with himself.

What he did register was the blinding panic and anxiety of being taken from his family and never seeing them again, the second he was scooped up and his back met a sturdy chest, strong arms wrapping around him and restricting his movements, he let out a desperate cry before falling into a panic. The fact that he had fallen back into such a young headspace only seemed to make it worse, creating a bigger problem because both Jackson and Yugyeom had never dealt with something like this before.

Youngjae had been their saving grace, he sat close to Markie without touching him and began to tap a beat on the floor near his foot, all while slowly and calmly counting Markie's inhales and exhales. Once that started to work better, he asked, "Can I touch you?" so very gently. The panicking male nodded and Youngjae didn't hesitate to put the shaking male's hand against his chest and instruct him to breath with him. Once that settled him down further he asked Yugyeom to start singing, but Jackson beat him to it, singing that same Lullaby from so many days ago.

After that it was clear Youngjae was the expert on calming their Little. He had handled the panic attack and aftermath better than anyone else and just had a way of soothing Markie that no one else could.

So to be sitting so far away from the male was not only disconcerting, but also building his panic.

"Jackson, sing." Youngjae said, his eyes never leaving the Little's. "Baby, why don't you take some nice big breaths, I promise the second I can, I'll wrap you up and won't let go until you're sick of me." He asked, calm as always. "That's it, that's better."

Markie was so focused on Youngjae he didn't notice the car had stopped moving, nor did he register a new voice telling everyone they were home. All he could see was his Hyung who always made him feel better.

"Okay sweetheart, I'm coming." He said, slowly climbing into the backseat, the finally within reach. He latched onto Youngjae like a drowning man to a life preserver, and it was like he could breath again. The panic began to receed, his breathing slowed, and the shaking in his limbs eased. "Oh, baby. Do you want me to carry you inside?" He was asked, kisses being pressed to the hand clinging to Youngjae's shirt. "Alright, I need you to get up and walk out to me though. Can you do that?"

Markie nodded, eyes focused solely on Youngjae. Slowly standing up and maneuvering out of the van. Collapsing against his Hyung the second he could and just melting into the arms that wrapped around him. The hug seemed to center him, bring him back all the way and help him take a big breath. He closed his eyes and just relaxed into Youngjae. Unaware of all his members watching him, keeping a respectable distance, but right there, should he need them.