Arcadia 11

Twenty-Seven

It had been a long month, and his favorite time was coming up. He'd spoken with his mangers, talked to the producers, and even gotten the okay from PD-nim to head back to Thailand for a little bit and visit his family. There had been so much tension and silence surrounding the group he had felt like he was suffocating, the absence of his fellow maknae not helping anything. So as he stood in his bedroom, his suitcase packed and airport outfit all ready, he thought about the situation he was in.

Mark, Jackson, and Jaebeom we're all still in the hospital. Jinyoung was filming scenes for a new drama, then would head to his studio to work on music or even practice some dance moves. Youngjae had been spending more time with the producers, working on his solo album and making sure he got his message across, he had been so focused that he was spending days on end in the studio, Coco living with his brother for now. Which left him, he had half-heartedly started working on some songs, took to designing a few new outfits, played with his cats and even fed Jaebeom's. But by the end of the day, there was nothing keeping him from thinking about how they'd come back from this. How they as a group would be able to come together after almost loosing their eldest member.

He'd been thinking about visiting his Hyung, but didn't think he was welcome. Especially after seeing photos Jackson had secretly been sending them.

Yes, Mark looked healthier and he had been smiling in every shot, but he was unbelievably skinny. His eyes still had deep bags under them and in the harsh hospital lighting it seemed as though they were permanent. The gown they'd put him in hung off his frame sickeningly and the color washed out his extremely pale features. He looked dead and yet was still able to smile and do adorable aegyo.

BamBam was so certain his Hyung was just acting, that the smile on his face was nothing more than a farce, him putting on a mask to keep the others from worrying. But it was too late, BamBam was being worried. The man that had been there since day one, holding him up and cheering him on was in the hospital looking like a corpse, and he'd helped put him there. He was selfish and cruel and there was nothing he could do to take back the neglect he'd given his eldest brother. He felt like trash.

His phone rang startling him from his thoughts. "Hello?" He asked, not bothering with the Caller ID.

"Bam-ah, I'm here to pick you up. Are you ready?" Seunghoon's smooth voice asked. Humming in affirmation he gathered his things. "I'm just waiting outside. If you're up to it we can stop by the hospital so you can let your members know you're leaving." He said, attempting to come across nonchalant, but not succeeding.

"Yeah... Okay." He agreed, rather reluctantly. It would be best if the eldest three heard he was leaving from him and not the managers. Sighing heavily he made his way to the door.

The drive was silent, the radio off, both males lost in thought. BamBam watching the buildings fly by, his thoughts much more depressing than he would ever let on. His mind going to giving up, moving back to Thailand, working as a model and rapper based out of a company there. Maybe JYP PD-nim would allow him to stay there and just produce/record from his home country. He had nothing left here anyway, his Hyungs were probably all thinking the same thing, it was only a matter of time before they told him to leave. He was, after all, not attributing as much, sure he brought fans from Thailand, but was that all they kept him for? Maybe the reason Seunghoon-hyung was taking him to the hospital was so they could tell him before he left. Was Seunghoon-hyung in on it? He had to be, he'd been trying to get BamBam to talk to his Hyung's before he left for weeks now. There was no way he didn't know what was waiting for him there.

"Bam-ah, we're here." Seunghoon's smooth voice cut through the thoughts, his anxiety still coursing strongly through his veins. "BamBam-ah, I need you to be open minded. I brought you here because I knew you would..."

The words didn't register, his thoughts from earlier ringing loudly in his ears. His heart shattering as he thought about leaving GOT7, leaving this group of men that he looked up to. Where could he find another group of friends, find people who accepted him, helped him when his mind was too lost, inspired him to reach for the stars, and grab every one of his dreams? He wouldn't.

He didn't even register getting out of the car, not did he realize they'd gotten in an elevator. Nor did he notice they had stopped, his body moving on autopilot. The door in front of them opened, the room was quite spacious. There was a sink next to the door, a door that more than likely led to an ensuite bathroom, a couch, and even a cot. A large bed housing a slight frame curled in a small ball, two chairs occupied by his two large Hyungs. The bed held two stuffed animals, a quilt from their dorms, and even a blanket from each member's rooms, there were a few books laying around, and a light plugged into the wall casting stars and galaxies at the ceiling.

"BamBam-ah." Jaebeom breathed a smile tugging at his lips. His hair was freshly washed and still a little damp, his face was clear of any makeup making it easier to see just how tired their leader was, his usually soft  producer style they all teased him about, was very much in tact, he wore a pair of loose pants and baggy shirt that looked suspiciously like one of Mark's. He looked like someone entirely different and yet the same person he'd known for years and BamBam didn't know what to do with that.

"Leader-Nim." He responded, bowing respectfully, then turning to Jackson. "Hyung-Nim." He repeated the action, staying where he was, feeling better about having the only escape right behind him.

Jackson having heard the formal tone and shakiness of the younger's voice immediately turned around. His vibrant energy was tuned down to how he usually was around the dorms, his excitement and boisterous persona only coming out for the cameras and fans. He was wearing an old sweatshirt, one from their debut days. The faded logo and fraying ends making him look exactly as he did back then, his brown hair only adding to the image.

"I am just here to inform you I will be taking my leave. PD-NIM has approved my time away, if you need me I'll be with my parents." He spoke cooly, hoping his self-consciousness wasn't heard. Bowing BamBam made for the door, not knowing whether to feel hurt from their lack of words or relieved.