If It Hurts This Much (Chaelisa)

Chapter 8

Lisa's eyes widen as she sees the expression on Chaeyoung's face and the shade of brown change. She's seen that look before – a few weeks ago when… Oh. It seems Lisa's not the only one thinking about that night. Her heart starts pounding, chest throbbing against the beat and she can feel the pool cue slipping out her hand from the clamminess brewing in her palms.

But…

Yes, there's always a fucking but. Nothing's changed since the last time they were this close, nothing's changed at all. Miyeon's still Lisa's wife and Chaeyoung's still her best friend. It's off limits. Way off limits. And frankly, despite it feeling really fucking right, her moral guidelines knows better.

So, incredibly reluctantly, she utters the first words that pop into her mind and immediately bites down on the regret she feels washing through her body. "Another drink?"

"No," Chaeyoung breathes, still unmoving from her close proximity. "I've got one."

Lisa summons the strength to move away, and slides away to perch back on the table. There's a strange atmosphere floating around them. It's not surprising really, considering there's obviously something blooming between them, or had been before she stupidly stepped away. Wait, no, not stupidly.

"It's Jaehyun."

She's pulled from her thoughts, and swigs down a sip of her beer to hide the jealousy biting at her tongue. Not fucking Jung Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun and his muscular body, well paid job, high status and sickeningly good dance moves. Jung Jaehyun and his blood boiling kindness, and the difficulty to hate him because he's not actually a bad person. Fuck.

The disinterest flashes across her face, and she feels her upper lip curl in preparation to show it. "As in, Jung? Jung Jaehyun?"

"Yeah." Chaeyoung nods, lining up her next shot. "We got talking at the wedding."

Well that's just fucking great. Not only is Chaeyoung now seeing this guy, but she practically pushed them towards each other. As if them working together wasn't bad enough already. Fuck. "Oh. That's nice."

Halfway towards the pool table, Chaeyoung stands in front of her, dangerously close. "Is that okay?"

No. "Yes."

Chaeyoung seems unconvinced - her brows are furrowed, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. "Are you sure?"

They're too close to be having a conversation like this, especially with the alcohol coursing through her bloodstream and obviously wanting spark igniting between the two. This is her best friend – this is Chaeyoung. Lisa should be happy for her. Jaehyun's a good guy, he would treat her well, and they would be good together. But all of that kind of makes the situation worse. Why couldn't she pick a jackass to date? That would make everything so much easier.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Lisa retorts sharply, her tone holding accusation. Still, despite her actually forcing the unheard question, she can't help but feel guilty. She's the one that's married, to her wife, who she lives with, and so on. Not Chaeyoung. "I don't care."

Chaeyoung sucks in her top lip, her eyes flashing with disappointment as she lets out a breathy sigh and shakes her head. Without answering the question, she brushes past Lisa, abandoning the game as she puts her pool cue back into its holster and grabs her coat. "It's late. We should be going."

And then she exits, leaving Lisa to feel just that little bit shitter. Fucking great.

***

Idling at another pedestrian light whilst the Seoul traffic drives by, Lisa turns to Chaeyoung on her right. She's standing there, arms crossed and blonde hair flowing in the light breeze, and apart from the subtle hardness behind her usually bright brown eyes, she'd seem pretty care free. But this is Chaeyoung and Lisa we're talking about, and Lisa can always see it. She's always seen it.