If It Hurts This Much (Chaelisa)

Chapter 19

The last thing she expects as she steps over the threshold, with Karofsky holding the door open for her, is for someone to yank on her wrist and tug her back out. She snaps her head around, scowl fixed on her face until she gages who exactly is preventing her from drinking.

"Can I help you?" Lisa asks, tugging her arm back as Karofsky eyes them warily from where they're standing - half in and half out of the bar.

Chaeyoung looks at her dejectedly and for the first time in like, ever, her usually bright brown eyes are cold and hard. It makes Lisa want to curl up into a ball or wrap her arms around her best friend to try and make them go away. They're like a nightmare she can't wake up from.

"What are you doing?"

Lisa's eyes slide in the direction of the bar and back again, "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're becoming an alcoholic."

The way Chaeyoung says it makes Lisa think she was trying not to say 'looks like you're becoming your mother' and it stings. She's never wanted that and it's kind of a daunting realization. "Since when do you care what I do?"

Chaeyoung narrows her eyes in disbelief and a small scoff escapes her lips, "I always care what you do."

"Right," Lisa scuffs her shoe along the floor and remembers Karofsky's watching them, but it doesn't deter her. "So you care what I do, but you don't care when you fuck off back to Jaehyun and hurt me in the process? Physical torture through alcohol is better than emotional from you, yeah?" She looks up as the words leave her mouth and even though inside she's regretting them, she keeps her features straight like she means them.

"Lisa," Chaeyoung exhales quickly, eyes flashing with hurt. "I'm not trying to hurt you."

"Not doing a very good job of it then," Lisa cocks a brow, "Are you?"

Chaeyoung dips her gaze, chin tucking to her chest whilst her head shakes. "I actually came here to talk to you. But if you're going to be like this then I don't think I really want to."

"Aw," Lisa faux coos, ignoring the way the tone racks at her brain to stop. "Did I ruin your plan of letting me down softly? Damn," she clucks her tongue, "Such I shame I fucked that one up. Guess you'll just have to run along to little Jaehyun and I'm sure he'll make you feel all better." Venom and hurt drip off every word and she swallows thickly, knowing just how far past the line she's gone. Defence mechanisms are a bitch.

Chaeyoung flinches, her fists clenching by her thighs as her nostrils flare, eyes locking with Lisa's. It's like an evening of firsts, because now her eyes have transformed from cold and hard to fiery and painful. Lisa actually has to look away to make sure she doesn't crumble, fall to her knees and beg for forgiveness. Pain does this to her. Makes her walls come up and makes her lash out. She really fucking wishes she could blame this on alcohol, but there's zero in her bloodstream at the moment - so it's just down to her being an aggressive bitch.

Fuck. She's really screwed this one up.

Chaeyoung sucks in a deep breath, then lets out a very not amused laugh and shakes her head, lifting her eyes from Lisa's to the area around them like she can't actually believe what she just heard. "Okay, Lisa. Okay." she says, her eyes glossing over with unshed tears. She turns on her heel, crossing her arms and sucking in her quivering bottom lip as she begins to walk away, back turned.

Lisa does nothing, ignoring the way the sight of Chaeyoung walking away clenches at her heart, twists around her lungs and makes her want to bash her head against a brick wall several times, hard. She fucking hates herself, but she's so fucking stubborn and so hurt that she just stands there, arms by her side, eyes locked on a blonde head of hair as she watches Chaeyoung walk away - there friendship going down the drain by her right foot.