If It Hurts This Much (Chaelisa)

SEASON 2 : Chapter 4

Her eyes are wide and Lisa lets her eyes drift to find two pale hands reaching to press either side of Chaeyoung's stomach, both of them finally registering the words and situation that might have arisen without either of their knowledge. She can feel heat spreading across her skin and not in the way she's accustomed too.

This is panic. She's panicking and she knows she really shouldn't be because if she feels this way then how the fuck does Chaeyoung feel.

She drops the box of tampons and quickly moves to Chaeyoung, sliding onto the bed and sitting close to her, her hands finding Chaeyoung's on her stomach and covering them. Chaeyoung's eyes are clouded and dazed, and Lisa can't help but stare as her eyebrows knit together, unsure of how she feels.

Are they ready for this?

For a baby?

Her heart almost stops beating right then and she's not sure how she feels so panicked but strangely relieved at the same time. She knows they had a discussion about this a few months back after that fight... But she didn't think they'd be seriously considering it so soon.

Shit.

"Chaeng... I... What―" she stutters and tries to wet her lips but fails. Her mouth's so dry she's not sure a gallon of water would help her.

"But I'm..." Chaeyoung's mouth parts as she whispers the word, her eyes finally coming back to look straight into Lisa's. "I'm on... I mean―I'm on the pill."

Lisa's eyes widen and she nods, not entire sure why the hell she's nodding. Her face feels so hot right now, her cheeks spiking with heat but she's not sure how that's possible because the moment the thought, the possibility popped into her head, all the blood drained from her face.

They're both speechless and they stare at each other like one will come up with the answer, but then Lisa thinks about it, like really thinks about it and without conscious thought, her gaze is dropping down to Chaeyoung's stomach, to the their hands still pressing either side and something inside of her flutters. A sound comes from her throat, halfway between an exhalation of air and halfway between a croak, and Chaeyoung's eyes bore into her own when she looks up, trying to read her.

"You..." She pauses when Chaeyoung’s eyes begin to gloss over, fearing she's said the wrong thing. One hand comes up to cup Chaeyoung's cheek and she stares into her eyes, trying to think of the right thing to say.

Usually she can read her wife like a book. It's somethings she's always been able to do but right now, she can't seem to pick up on a single thing. Not an emotion or a flicker or fucking anything, and Lisa has this desperate need to know what's going on inside Chaeyoung's head.

"We need―We need to get you a preg―" the word makes her breath catch but she clears her throat, pushing through it. "We need to―to make sure."

Chaeyoung's staring at her but it doesn't feel like she's really looking, and Lisa can feel her own perplexed expression on her face as she processes the events that have just arisen.

Chaeyoung might be pregnant. It makes sense. All the symptoms of Chaeyoung's illness points towards it; cravings, throwing up, cramps, hormones. It makes perfect sense and Lisa gets into this weird daze as she thinks about it more and more, wondering what this means. What's going to happen from now? Their one and only conversation didn't really lead them anywhere. It didn't have a final decision about the future, it was just left open and now she knows they've got to discuss this. They have to now.

But first, they've got to make sure of something.

"Shall I..." she can't seem to finish a full sentence without interrupting with some bodily function and blinks, shaking away the overwhelming amount of thoughts in her mind. "Shall I go and buy you one?"