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((I could not tell you why this song gives me gender euphoria if I tried))

((Also surprise!! Early update!))


By the time the two changed topics the air had cleared significantly. The tension had lessened to a minor concern in Y/n's mind. That wasn't to say the earlier conflict was forgotten.

The two had brainstormed and come up with a pretty solid apology note, which Y/n planned to email to Tommy the next day.

They'd talked about anything and everything after that, both emotionally and physically exhausted. The conversation had slowed, Y/n finishing up editing on the apology as Tubbo did whatever it is he does.

"Y'know... this reminds me a lot of the first fight I had with Tommy."

Y/N glanced back over to the glowing green circle around his friends picture on discord.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't know him as well back then. I thought he'd never talk to me again," he laughed softly. "But he's not like that. We actually talked a lot after that."

"Was he mad at you?"

He burst out laughing.

"Oh yeah," he giggled. "Infuriated. With both me and himself. But we've talked it out, and I'm sure you two will too."

Y/n sighed. He was going to have to tell him eventually. He'd have to tell everyone eventually. Holding on to it was bad for him, and that was bad for them. He had to tell them.

But not yet.

He'd have to spend his entire life telling people. Many of which wouldn't be ok with it. Why start now?

For now, he'd say what he could. That he was having personal issues, and that he would tell him as soon as he was ready.

He hoped it would be soon.

"You still there?" a tired voice came through the line and y/n jumped.

"Yeah, yeah sorry."

"Did you," Tubbo yawned. "Did you mute?"

"No just... spaced," Y/n mumbled, feeling kind of dumb.

"Ah, yeah, I get that," he yawned again and y/n found himself unable to resist the urge to do the same.

Tubbo yawned again in response before giggling.

"It's getting pretty late," Y/n started before a half thought formed in his sleep-addled brain. "...wait, what time is it there?" His eyes widened, waking up slightly as the realization that Tubbo had basically resigned to an all-nighter to talk to him set in.

((This is a substitute paragraph for the one above, just for you, English dweller. All else may skip: "God, what time is it?" Y/n blinked sleepily, glancing over at the time. His jaw dropped when he noticed how late it was. He had nothing happening the next day, but Tubbo had early classes. His eyes widened as he realized his friend had pulled an all-nighter just to talk to him.))

"Uh, well, about that," Tubbo laughed again, voice dripping with exhaustion but still kind.

Y/n looked over to discord.

"We've been on call for 7 hours?!" he whisper shouted. Sure a couple of those had been on the stream, but even with that accounted for it was crazy. "Why didn't you say you had to go?" Guilt crept back up on him.

"You needed me," he yawned again. "Plus I really don't mind. I like talking to you."

"But-"

"Stop it. We talked about that," there was not even a hint of frustration or annoyance in his voice. Just a firm insistence. "We're friends. Friends help friends."

"Ok, but-"

"I know you'd do the same," he interrupted.

Y/n couldn't really argue that so he let go of the argument.

"Are you getting any sleep?" he asked, hoping he was somehow wrong about the time.

"Maybe an hour if I try right now."

"You go do that. It's better than nothing," y/n said.

"You," he yawned again, clearly fighting the slur in his speech. "You sure?"

"Yeah," he sighed, a calm flowing through him. "I'll be fine."

He sent Tubbo off to bed, laughing at the way it made him feel kind of like a parent.

Then he stood, stretched out, and flopped onto his own bed behind him. The tension fled from his body somehow. It was weird, but even though that had been a stressful experience, talking about it, even if indirectly, had taken just a little bit of the stress of the tip of the iceberg of crushing fear and discomfort.

He felt his body go limp as he weakly crawled under the blanket, and was practically blacked out within seconds.


((Unrelated to this chapter, but I have a surprise in the works for you boys))


((This chapter is old! The surprise was the trans one shots book!))

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