Other Worlds - The Wilds

Chapter 14

AN: Please please do not read this story if you are triggered by abuse. Namely, in this chapter: sexual abuse. So big Trigger Warning for that and I urge you not to carry on the story if that is something that upsets you. The last think I want is for someone to be taken off guard by that kind of material. 

TW: Sexual Abuse

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  After years of foster care with screaming rows, drug fuelled destruction and old doors creaking open in the dead of night, Toni learned to sleep with one eye open. This is why her eyes immediately shot open at the sound of a faint knock on her window.

  She waited for a moment in the dark to see if the sound was just the wind or a figment of her sleep addled mind.

  The knock came again. Much louder this time. She jumped out of bed, consequences be damned, to shut her late night guest up. She was already in hot water with Carol, God only knows what would happen if she thought Toni was sneaking someone into the house. She shuddered at the thought.

  Back dots crowded her vision when she turned on the bedside lamp. She opened the window as far as the rusted hinges would let her, expecting, hoping that it would be Regan. Toni was too scared and pissed off to even register the shock of who was standing out in the snow.

  "Shelby you need to fucking leave right now," Toni whisper-shouted, using her phone torch to illuminate the girl.

  Shelby's hand shot up to block the light from her eyes. She wasn't wearing a coat, only an oversized hoodie which Toni assumed was Andrew's. She shivered against the snow, and wrapped herself up in a hug. Only then did Toni notice that she was crying.

  "Toni, please. I just need to talk to you." There was a slight slur to Shelby's words, making Toni think the girl was slightly drunk.

  "It is 2 in the morning, go home. You can't be here."

  "Please," The other girl choked out a sob, "Can I just come in?"

  Toni softened, she couldn't help it. She thought about all of the times she had been left out in the cruel snow, cold and crying. Though she was sure the circumstances were very different, she couldn't help seeing a small piece of her younger, terrified self in Shelby.

  She sighed. Wondering why, yet again, she was putting herself at risk for Shelby Goodkind. "Wait there."

  Quietly, Toni got changed and rummaged around her untidy room in search of warm clothes. She stuffed the clothes in her backpack and tiptoed out of her room. The floorboards creaked slightly under hear heavy snow boots, but nothing that would wake Carol from whatever drug or alcohol induced stupor she generally worked herself into every night. She used her phone torch to navigate her way out of the house, breathing a sigh of relief when she made it out.

  She rounded the corner and jumped when Shelby appeared in front of her. Shelby opened her mouth to speak but Toni put a finger to her lips, shushing her. Toni grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her to the corner shop around the corner. Me and Regan's spot, she remembered mournfully. She directed them under a street light on the curb and sat down, fishing a coat and wooly hat out of her bag and giving it to Shelby.

  Shelby looked like she was going to cry at the gesture. Or, at least, cry more. She looked awful. Make-up was smeared across her face, black mascara trailed down her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy as though she had been crying all night. Snow fell around them, the flakes speckling Shelby's black coat. Toni's coat.

  No one spoke for a moment. "So," Toni broke the silence, "why are you here?"

  Shelby took a shuddering breath, wringing her hands. "I believe you." Her chin quivered. "I believe you about Andrew."

  There was something about Shelby tonight. Unfiltered. Vulnerable. Real.

  Toni met her eyes. Soft green and filled with unshed tears; but also full of unspoken words.

  "So you tracked me down and came all this way to tell me something I already knew?" Toni hated the aggressive stance she always seemed to take in these situations. Why would someone want to be vulnerable with her? Especially Shelby Goodkind. She waited for the other shoe to drop.

  "No, I came to tell you that we broke up."

  "Again, I don't see why you think I'd care." Toni cringed slightly as the words fell out of her mouth. "Shelby, I sorry- I didn't mean-" God, why had Shelby put her in this position?

  "You're the one that can't seem to have a conversation without bringing up his name!" Great, they were arguing again.

  Toni decided not to engage. "Look, I honestly don't really care about you or Andrew," Regan's words rang in her ear from yesterday but she erased the thought from her mind. "But anyway, I'm glad you're out of it. That was a shitty situation. Is that everything?" Toni stood up and wiped the snow off of her joggers.

  Shelby leapt up, stumbling slightly as though she had forgotten her own strength. Yep, she was definitely a bit drunk.

  "Wait! No." Shelby took a few steps forward, grabbed Toni's arm and took a deep breath as though to clear her head. "That's not all. I came to tell you that you don't know my life. You don't know me. So stop acting like you do. You have no idea what it is like in my house, the way I have to live-"

  Toni stopped listening and yanked her hand away. Maybe she was being selfish, or maybe the gravity of her own home situation hit her in that moment; but she retaliated, "Oh, sure Shelby. Your life is nightmare. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be rich, in a stable home, popular and perfect. It must be hell!"

  "You have no idea" Shelby growled, her fists clenched at her sides.

  "Okay, then tell me. What is so fucking awful about Shelby Goodkin-"

  Next thing she knew, Shelby's lips were on hers.

  She closed her eyes instinctively, sinking into the kiss. For a moment she forgot who she was with, unable to tear herself away from the other girl, away from human contact that felt good.

  The streetlight above them flickered, jolting Toni into reality. She pulled away and wiped the taste of beer and tears off of her lips using sleeve of her coat. "What the fuck Shelby?"

  Shelby looked at her, the tears finally falling from her eyes, broken. "Am I really that disgusting?"

  "No I-" Toni didn't know what to say. She wanted to help but right now Shelby was just another drunk person kissing her without permission. Despite her body having reciprocated the kiss, Toni's mind went to its darkest place the second she pulled away. "Shelby, you can't just-" Her breath was coming out in jagged gasps.

  Unable to talk anymore or look at Shelby's broken expression, Toni ran.

  Without thinking, she ran home, slamming the door behind her as she tried to catch her breath and get a grasp on her wandering thoughts. She had managed to block all of this from her mind but now that she had briefly let down her guard, it was all flooding back in. She collapsed to the floor with her back against the door, feeling sick. Feeling the unwelcome hands as though it was the days it happened.

  She hardly noticed the living room light turn on in her blind panic.

  "Toni, what the fuck are you doing?" Carols voice snapped her out of it. It was a welcome distraction. Finally, something to do with all of her emotion.

  She stood and stared Carol in the eyes. "Why do you fucking care? Just leave me alone."

  She waited or the fist blow. She almost wanted it. Anything other than what she was feeling.

  Her wish was granted with an unbridled jab to the face. Her head snapped to the side; and her gaze was redirected right through the uncovered window, into the horrified eyes of Shelby Goodkind.