Other Worlds - The Wilds

Chapter 21

AN: Hiya! next chapter for you. Sorry for the delay things have been weird. Following on from the scene in the previous chapter. Their night is not over yet; there is lots to hash out. I love all of the comments! They keep me interested in continuing the story xx

On a separate note, what are your favourite songs at the minute because I am listening to very lazy, comfortable music. I have just been listening to the same songs over and over for weeks and feel like I need to broaden my horizons a bit lol. Not gonna lie, I am seriously vibing with Mr. Perfectly Fine at the moment, feeling very transported to 2008.

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  Shelby looked about one wrong word away from bolting so Toni had to choose her next words very carefully. Yes, things had taken an unexpectedly intimate turn, but Shelby had been completely trashed only a few hours ago. She was probably still a bit drunk.

  From the way her heart was still racing to the way her chest tightened with hopeful anticipation at what Shelby was going to say next, it was becoming apparent that maybe Toni had feelings other than loathing for Shelby as well. But Shelby could never go long enough without insulting her to let her figure it out.

  "Shelby, are you s-"

  Shelby cut Toni off mid-sentence, as though she hadn't even started speaking in the first place, "I didn't mean that... what I said."

  Toni couldn't help the way her heart sank. That answered that. Toni was starting to get pissed off at the way Shelby was jerking her around. She never knew where she stood with her and it was becoming an additional stressor that she didn't really need. If it was anyone else, Toni would have just walked away. Left it at that. But one look at Shelby, shaking, restless and conflicted; Toni just couldn't do that.

  "Then why the fuck would you say it?" The words were harsh, but Toni could not get her tone to match it.

  "No no, not that." Shelby rushed out, "I spend time with you because I want to. Because... I don't know... I can't seem to stay away. From you."

  Toni was shocked at the other girls honesty. If there was any way she expected tonight to go, this was the complete opposite. Toni remembered all of the girls previous comments about sexuality when they argued, one specific detail came to mind. "What does this mean for you then? Are you gonna figure it out, or... are you gonna..." Toni could barely say the words, "Go where your friend Becca went?"

  The blonde girl hardly reacted... At first. "Maybe," She muttered tentatively. "I don't want to though... I think I know... But I know what's expected of me." Her voice increased in volume until she started shouting, "Fuck! I don't know. I don't know Toni. I-" Suddenly she grabbed the basketball that had rolled to a stop near her feet and hurled it at the metal fence surrounding the court. It rattled slightly before silence overcame the court again. "I don't know," She said again, whispering.

  Toni's heart clenched painfully watching Shelby fall apart. She had never really been confused about who she was. She worked it out at about 11 years old and told her friends who were fine with it. From then on every foster home she went to just had to deal with it. Beyond her friends she didn't really have anything to lose because she didn't have anything in the first place. But the things that Shelby's family could do to Shelby or, the things that Shelby could do to herself, scared the shit out of her. There was nothing she could do to help either, because encouraging her to just be who she was and lettting the world deal with it could be the complete wrong advice; but telling her to try changing didn't sound great either.

  She decided not to say anything at all. Instead, she walked up to where Shelby was frantically pacing, clearly lost in her head, and wrapped her arms around her. It was an awkward hug that seemed more like she was restraining her as Shelby's arms were pinned down; but the distressed girl seemed to calm down pretty quickly. The shared warmth between them felt completely different to the sexual tension of mere minutes ago. Toni loosened her arms when Shelby started struggling against them. Instead of jumping out of her arms like she expected, Shelby simply freed her arms, wrapped them around Toni's waist and dropped her head onto the shorter girl's shoulder, breathing shakily, but slowly, against her neck.