Other Worlds - The Wilds

Chapter 42

  Toni stood in the middle of her room, wondering how things possibly could have just ended like that.

  Somehow, after everything they had been through to be together, isolation was what broke them; and Toni knew that, but she needed someone to blame, someone other than Shelby.

  Dave. It was all Dave's fault. Any idiot could see that. They made it through Carol, but even without Carol it still went wrong. It had been Dave from the beginning. Thinking a far back as she could, everything hurdle in their relationship had been due to Dave. With or without Carol this would have happened. They could cope with Carol. Dave was the one that made it impossible to see each other, then and now.

  The conflicting thought that she should have been enough flashed through her mind. Reigniting her anger at Shelby. Toni could have done it. She really could have. Shelby is the one that was forgetting their meetings. Forgetting her. That wasn't Dave.

  But the fact they could only meet two hours a week was because of Dave.

  Or was it because Toni had basketball two nights a week?

  Why had they even fought in the first place?

  It all just suddenly seemed so fucking stupid to Toni. She had let her anger get ahold of her and ruined everything in 10 minutes. Choosing to attack Shelby for being a little bit late rather than having a rational conversation.

  But Shelby had agreed with her.

  Shelby had agreed that it was not enough.

  What part wasn't enough though? Toni? The time spent together? The quality of the time spent together? Fuck. Toni kicked resell for not asking, for not being more specific.

  She suddenly felt like she knew nothing at all.

  Chasing Shelby down and trying to change her mind was futile, Toni couldn't make Shelby want to be with her again. If Shelby was giving up now, after everything, then surely she was serious about it. Surely she knew in her heart when something was not worth fighting for? Or not worth the consequences of fighting for it.

  Someone. When someone was not worth fighting for.

  It clicked, though, that Toni was one half of this relationship, she was one half of this breakup. She decided that Shelby was worth fighting for.

  She bolted up the stairs, racing out of the front door without a goodbye to Bernice and Russell who were sitting in the lounge chairs, confusion written in their features.

Her feet pounded the pavement, the wind muffling in her ears and she ran. Familiar blonde hair appeared in front of her and she slowed down, winded. She would recognise Shelby anywhere. She was sure that she would never in her life mistake someone else for her.

  Shelby turned to face her, fear in her eyes, clearly concerned as to who was running after her.

  Toni's momentum accidentally found her bumping into Shelby as she tried to stop.

  "Sorry, sorry!" she exclaimed as Shelby nearly toppled over. She steadied her and took a step back, feeling awkward at the contact.

  Shelby looked terrible. Toni loved her in every state, showing every emotion, but this was one of the ones that broke her heart - purely because she loved her. Devastation painted Shelby's features. Cheeks flushed and tear stained, her eyes red and bloodshot. It mirrored an expression that Toni had seen so often at the beginning of their relationship - before they knew about their feelings. It was normally a result of repressing her love for Toni, rather than just losing her love for her.