To Our Pure Little Beauty

Chapter 4

Last night Doctor Jisoo and I had a long, intimate talk until five in the morning, after which she high-spiritedly patted my ass and said, “I’ll go prepare the endorsement for the next shift, I’m off-duty today.”

By the time I slept, I had no idea whether I was asleep or awake. In my drowsy state, it was as though there was a person standing right in front of me, I even asked him if he was a ghost. It also seemed as though I’ve explained to him about the karmic relationship of involving third parties when settling things.

This kind of sleep akin to being in a trance was the worst, past memories was running rapidly in my brain, not even neglecting the smallest of details. I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or remembering the past. Many people would say there’s no worth looking back at one’s past, but my past is very worthy. It’s the most proactive, lively, cheerful, morale booster, inspiring, reverse courtship in history, and can be called the, “The Successful Story of a Bright Girl*”. (T/N: referring to Jang Nara’s 2002 drama)

I had a crush on Jungkook  that time. It was after one week of careful deliberations that I combined information from novels, manhua, and dramas, and was able to come up with three plans; a love letter, by word of mouth, and a direct confession. It took yet another week of conducting a comprehensive analyses of these three plans. The disadvantage of letters; first, I wasn’t good with words, and second, Jungkook  would often receive letters but he would always, never read them. The disadvantage of word of mouth; first, it’s easy to pass on the wrong message, and second, from what I’ve gathered in the numerous love conspiracies in novels and dramas, I found out that the person who would pass on the message will end up with the male lead, so in the end, I was left to walk with only this path — to confess.

We always think that there are countless possibilities in life, afraid of doing this, afraid of doing that, but in the end, there would still be only one remaining possibility.

I flipped through the Yellow Calendar*, and picked an auspicious burial date to confess to Jungkook. He was on student duty at that time, so I was following him from behind and then I called him. He turned around, along with the broom he was holding, giving me a mouthful of dust from the action. (T/N: a special calendar which gives information whether a particular day is propitious)　

I said, “Jungkook, I like you, puh, puh, puh.”

At first, he gave me a blank stare, and then furrowed his brows saying, “puh, what?”

I was very vexed and hurriedly explained, “I’m not puh-ing at you, I just ate a mouthful of dust, I said, I like you.”

He furrowed his brows further, two creases of skin were scrunched in between his brows,  making him look really good.

He said, “I don’t like you.”

It was an era where everyone loves to engage in ambiguous relationships, and at that time, there wasn’t a song that tells about the grievances suffered by people entangled in such relationships, so even though it’s not really what they feel, most of the people would opt to say, “I’m not suitable for you, you deserve someone better.” or, “We’re still too young, we should study well and enter a good university first.”,
and such nonsense. Jungkook ’s chop the nail and slice the iron* rejection made me think that his ruthlessness really stands out from the rest. Hence I’ve decided to become even more determined in liking him. (T/N: firm and resolute)

So Jungkook was pestered by me. Every day, I’d wait very early in the morning in the alley between our houses. When Jungkook  would come out, I’d put on a bright smile with the radiance of spring, and say, “What a coincidence, I’m on my way to school too.” I’d also pack my things before the dismissal bell would start ringing, so once it rings, I’d rush to the stairs, wait for Jungkook to walk past me, and then I’d say, “What a coincidence, I’m also leaving school.”