Spilling Guts

Part 77 - Couchless

"I'm sorry we can't have you on the couch," said Balcuwitz.

"I'll manage. There wouldn't have been enough room for both of us on there," quipped Will.

There would if Louis was inside you like he is now. And in a few other positions, leered Will's mind.

Focus! Sweet black holes, one day doing patents for bedroom toys and your mind goes straight to the gutter!

Will adjusted the bed so he was further upright and able to look at Balcuwitz without straining his neck. Not as comfortable as a leather couch in Balcuwitz's office, but here he had a blanket as comfort. He needed comfort, hyperaware of the weight inside him, listening.

This is a whole new definition of vulnerable, thought Will. Exposing all my soft parts while Louis is in my soft parts.

"And I can deal," said Louis.

Balcuwitz lay the headset next to the tablet. He had kept the lights dimmed for Will and closed the curtain between them and the empty bed, creating another layer of privacy.

"Let's lay out some rules since this session will be unique," said Balcuwitz. "First, no interruptions. Both of you have things that need to be said. Let the other finish before giving your side. Communication consists of listening. It also consists of talking. If it takes time to figure out what you need to say and how to say it, let us know so we do not rush you.

"Second if either of you need to talk to me independently, tell me."

"How can we talk privately when we can't get away from each other?" asked Louis.

"Good point," said Will.

"Rachel and Cetz gave me a tutorial on the SkySprecht App. It can let me mute your communicators and play white noise." Balcuwitz waved at the tablet. "Will, if you and I need to talk, you give me your communicator and I can play the white noise for Louis. Louis, if you need to talk, Will hands over his communicator and I can go into another room with the tablet and headset. Will that suffice?"

"Sure," said Louis. He sounded tense, like a test-pull on a bowstring.

"I'm okay with that," said Will. It wasn't as if he could get up and walk away either, not without detaching a bunch of beeping wires from his chest, sacrificing half his chest hair, and carrying his IV pole.

The hard talk with Louis had to come eventually. But Will felt like a storm trooper with no armor or helmet.

"Then I'll start," said Balcuwitz. "The partnership between the two of you is based off trust grown during a high-stress situation. While it worked for a while, it is now deteriorating. If the two of you truly want to work together, it needs to be rebuilt on a better foundation."

Will felt his strength wilting. That was the caveat, wasn't it? Did they really want to be partners? Will had wanted a partner. Had wanted it to be Louis because of a starry-eyed first impression. But was that possible anymore?

And Louis hadn't wanted a partner at all. Why would he want to stuck with Will?

However, instead of asking the obvious "do you still want to be partners?", Balcuwitz motioned his hand as he talked, wafting a breeze of spice and sugar embedded in his clothing. "We previously talked about boundaries, setting them, talking about them, and observing them. Let's go over what happened earlier today with that in mind."

"There were less boundaries, more test regulations," muttered Louis.

"In this case, yes," admitted Balcuwitz. "But I saw footage of the test earlier. Louis, you asked Will to sit down when he had to swallow you."

"Yeah," Louis admitted, reluctant.

Will didn't see how that applied to the subject of boundaries. But a boundary between him and Louis was being laid down already by the shrink. Balcuwitz addressed Louis by looking at the tablet and the colorful decibel squiggles. Usually, when Rachel or Cetz talked to Louis when he was inside, they would look at his stomach.

For some reason, he preferred Balcuwitz's method. It kept the two of them separate; less like Will had to speak up for Louis because he held him.

"Neither of you were ready for the test today or were fully comfortable with it, but you in particular didn't like being that high up," said Balcuwitz to the tablet. "So you pointed out something that could make it easier, more comfortable. Well done."