Spilling Guts

Part 58 - Shower Thoughts

Will grimaced as he, Louis, Beni, and garbage funk following like a drunk octopus, walked down the corridor through Main Tech. Fellow agents, techs, and even security gave them plenty of space to pass by. And dirty looks.

Han Solo, Luke, and Princess Leia didn't get this much attention after escaping the trash compactor, thought Will. Though they were trying to be stealthy, we're just trying to get a shower.

"Maybe we should go straight to Cetz's office, unwashed, so he can smell what we went through," grumbled Louis as he pushed the button on the elevator. None of them wanted to trudge down a stairwell.

"I'm still tasting what we went through," grumbled Beni. Her attempts at a conversation with Will while they drove around for fifteen minutes had brought up stubborn sidesteps and silence. "Shower."

At the next basement level, containing the shooting range and gym, the trio split off to the showers. Will stuffed his clothing into a hamper without touching it more than necessary. A cupboard in the Watch gym held towels, loose gray sweatpants, and t-shirts for working out, but more often than not they were worn when agents ruined their clothes on missions.

Come in wearing a suit, leave looking like I left a yoga session.

Two stalls over, Louis groaned under a pressured showerhead and plenty of steam.

Will swallowed hard and entered his own stall, shower to full blast. The sound of water against tile drowned out Louis' presence, and the water pressure plastered his hair to his skull and neck, tickling his shoulders. But the shower couldn't drown out his own mind.

The unintentional flash of Louis' abs in the SUV warmed Will's face better than the shower.

Just physical. Nothing deep. It'll pass. He scrubbed Watch Two generic shampoo through his hair, feeling the suds run down his spine and in to the crevasse and planes of his back. Cupping the suds and a palm full of soap, he attacked his neck, chest, and armpits.

It's been four months. You sure about that?

Will had been ready to steady a shrunken Louis during the fifteen minute drive of silent judgment. That hadn't been physical. It had been concern.

I can care about people. I care about Jacob still, but I wouldn't date him again; too much of a past between us. Maybe after this weekend we can be friends; depends on what we do and what we talk about.

But caring about Louis was different, more...

Will's soapy hand lingered on the space below his sternum.

...internal.

How long since you felt him moving inside you?

Will scrubbed out the lather, his fingertips trying to massage the notion out of his skull.

A trickle of soap ran down his brow and into his eyes. He winced, closing his eyes and darting back into the spray.

A shadowy thing crept into his blindness.

Being held down, can't breathe, can't move, held in place someone help help I can't breathe can't see can't see someone get it off I--

Will gasped, sucking in a bit of water. He coughed, blindly reaching out to the wall until his palm smacked it. Knees slowly lowered him to the floor as he caught his breath out of the spray of the shower. Fire burned his lungs, twisting at his throat like he had run a mile in a minute. He rubbed at his eyes, no longer stinging, but still red.

What the hell?

He sat naked in sudsy water, trying to parse what had happened.

Water. Being held down. A pain in his stomach. Was he remembering a dream, or something else? The fear and panic felt similar to what happened earlier during the walk with Jacob.

Had it been an anxiety attack?

This isn't a onetime thing. I should tell Rachel. Or Balcuwitz. I-

Will startled as a knuckle rapped against the fogged plastic door.

"Hey," said Louis. He stood at the edge of shower, looking away, thankfully not seeing Will kneeling by the drain. "You going to be much longer?"

"Be a minute. Gotta rinse." And put my mind back in order.

Will looked through the glass to the blurred streak of tan and white.

Should I tell him?

"I'll wait outside." Louis left.

You can get through this talk with Cetz, encouraged Will as he got back to his feet and rinsed off. Chat with Rachel after, and then pick up your stuff from upstairs. Call it an early day. You've earned it. Do not pass go, do not collect two-hundred patent files. Home and the weekend to catch up on sleep.

When were talks with Cetz concerning Louis ever simple?