Spilling Guts

Part 23 - Mother Knows

Will found solace in one of the empty office spaces off of the break room. He flicked the screen on his phone. "Hi, sorry about that. Sometimes the coworkers can get... nosey."

"I understand, fella. Is it about your name?"

"...kinda. Being called Billy makes me feel like I'm back in elementary school." That period of his life had been rife with sand down his shirt, double tied shoelaces, and lunch periods spent in the school library with a limited pool of friends. Actually that had been most of his life until Junior year of High School.

"And you're a grown man that can take care of himself and needs space, I know." Her tone went cold. "I only called because Jacob wanted your number and I wanted to make sure you were fine."

Will paced the wall of the room and fumbled his free hand into a pocket for a mint; something to occupy his mouth during awkward silences. "How much of a hard time did you give him, mom?"

"You cleaned every sheet, drape, and pillowcase in the house while in tears after you two broke up. What did you expect?"

Wow, no wonder Jacob was so upset when he called me. Will's pacing slowed as he mentally reviewed his morning and freed a pellet of chalky peppermint from his tin. I went through a cleaning phase... and I still want to clean up the apartment. More than tea needs to be sorted. Perhaps the compulsive cleaning is something I can bring up with Belcuwitz? Louis and I haven't "broken up"... but it kinda feels like it.

"What did he need from you?" asked his mother.

Oh, that would open a can of fuzzy worms that would drive his mother to hunt down Jacob like the Mandalorian. "He found a few things that he thought might have been mine. I'm okay."

"You sound tired."

Of course his mother would pick up on that. "Sleep has been eluding me lately."

"Nightmares again?"

"Kind of. I can't remember most of them. The last one involved graves."

His mother took a breath. "Like the ones you saw overseas?"

"No," Will said quickly. "Not like that. More like dad's I think? It's still fuzzy."

She made a comforting noise, as if wanting to reach through the phone and hug him closer. "Is it work stress?"

"Probably." Why even have a therapist on call when he could air out his problems with his mom?

"A guy at work kind of stress?"

Now she was getting specific. It was a similar line of questioning she would ask him after a long day at college or work.

Will tongued the mint against the roof of his mouth. "You could say that."

"A guy at work you like kind of str-"

"Yes, I like a guy at work!"

"... and?"

"And..." The mint crunched to powder between two molars, and tiny damn that consisted of tea and fluff therapy broke under his frustrations and floated down the steam of words that came out of his mouth. "...He's a pain in the ass! I don't even know why I liked the guy once I got to know him. I knew he had baggage left over from previous partners but it's like a Samsonite store on clearance. He's grouchy all the time, has an unhealthy relationship with the coffee maker, barely says anything positive to his coworkers, stubborn... You know he kept using Styrofoam coffee cups the first three months partnered with me. Looked me in the eye and sipped from those earth-killing cups like a troll. I've never wanted to Vulcan nerve pinch someone so hard."

For a moment Will balanced on the edge of telling his mother about the physical, knock down fight with Louis in California. But he held that tidbit back. The memories of the fight did not evoke pride. Nor would the explanation endear him to his mother.

"And I know he can be nice." First moment he saw Louis he saw kind and patient and that's where the crush started. "I've seen him be nice and tip well to baristas. But he chooses to not be nice at work, or to me.

"Why did you even like him, then?"

Will sighed in self disgust. "We've been through a few "stressful" situations at work and ended up somewhat bonding over it. And I know high stress environments are not the best place to grow a relationship."

Understatement of the year. Someone's entire body stuck inside his stomach led to a strained, but unique bonding experience. He would not recommend it as a teambuilding exercise for corporate retreats.

"But he's really handsome. Chiseled, blond, athletic, tall." Cleft abs, plush lips, strong jaw line, had a rare laugh that made his stomach fill with butterflies, felt good when Louis rubbed at his-

Nope. Stop that.

"It's a crush. A stupid, lust-based crush," admitted Will.

"Relationships have to start somewhere, fella. Lust isn't the worst place."

"It's not the smartest." He knew this, why the hell did he let that rule his mind sometimes?

Because I imagine Louis in a black Jedi uniform and my knees melt.

"Your father and I weren't the best fit at first either," said his mother. "But after a few months we managed to survive. I'll tell you a hard won truth, some men have to be trained up a bit."

"Trained up? Like if he does something bad, rub his nose in it?"

"Well, not literally."

"No, no, let me have a moment with that mental image." And the thought of Louis burying his face in Will's middle sent a flicker of warmth up his neck. Too bad the idea was utter fantasy.

His mother sighed on the other end. "I have another call coming in. I better let you go. I know it might cramp your style in front of your coworkers, but I really should come and visit, one of these days. Arnie and I would love to see where you work, fella."

"You can visit," said Will. "Just tell me a few days beforehand so I can dust the light-sabers. Arnie doing okay?"

"He's doing fine, don't worry. Get some sleep, fella."

"I'm trying, mom. Love you." Will put the phone down and fished another mint from his tin. He sat on the empty desk, rolling the mint around the edge of his teeth as he thought.

Some men need to be trained up. That was one way to describe what needed to happen to Louis. More like a full debug and rewiring because no one should be that grumpy and nobody is capable of having that much black coffee in a single day. Perhaps a detox period from caffeine. Louis would be a murderous wreck for the week of withdrawal, but maybe it would do the trick.

Will pushed himself off the desk and toward the doorway. He had goals today; first, talk to Balcuwitz about his nightmares, second, be alert enough to drive himself home. Third-

Will, focused on his to-try list, bumped into someone. "Sorry..."

"It's nothing." Louis's hand shot up to his shades, the nervous tic of making sure they would never fall and leave him exposed to the harsh light. "I think Rachel wants to talk with you about Monday."

"Monday?" Will racked his brain, wondering if he had forgotten something. "About what?"

"Ask her." Louis stalked off down the hall, not looking back... with a shoulder to hip ratio that made Will sigh.

Lust. Definitely lust. Okay, Rachel first, then Balcuwitz.