Spilling Guts

Part 14 - Life's Interruptions

"How are you feeling now?" asked Balcuwitz. He held out the pepper-shaped candy dish. He would have to restock at this rate; the dish was half empty thanks to repeat visitors. And by repeat visitors he meant Agents Benita and Reese stopping by at least four times to make sure he was still in his office and moving in fine.

"Better, thank you." Will sat on the plastic-free leather couch, untwisting the cellophane off another cinnamon disc.

Balcuwitz swiped a toffee. As the candy softened between his molars he took stock of his patient. Will did look better. Less a panicked person, more a wary and tired one. Though his skin tone was a shade closer to matching the gray of his shirt.

"Time, even a few hours, helps us to process life's interruptions," said Balcuwitz as he sat down at his own chair. "A paraphrase from one of my aunts cross-stitch patterns."

"Sounds like a good quote."

"The original quote reads "Vodka helps us drown life's interruptions.""

Will had to pause sucking his cinnamon disc, as if making sure he heard correctly. Nope, he had heard that right. "...wow."

Balcuwitz nodded. "Yes. I do not recommend that method for dealing with life choices. Speaking of which..." Balcuwitz shifted back into the chair until he was in a comfortable slump. Work time. "How has your day improved?"

"Uh... it's kind of a swinging pendulum." Will leaned back into the incline of the couch until he was on his back. His posture was more open than before, but still tense. Even when supine he looked about to jump up and run. "Not as bad as this morning though. I still feel like a red shirt, but a living one."

"How so?"

Will faced the ceiling, as if not wanting to look Balcuwitz in the face. Balcuwitz didn't mind. Sometimes patients accepted advice and guidance better when there was no face attached to the voice.

"Jacob wants to meet this Friday."

"That's quite a swing of the pendulum. Did you agree?"

"I didn't see the harm. I already got the tests back from Rachel and I'm negative." Will slowly rubbed his hands together, as if wiping away clay. "Should I have said no?"

"I don't know. Your actions are up to you. Do you believe meeting him face to face will bring a change to your view of the relationship?"

"What is there to change? We're apart and we're not in a relationship. Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder."

"Then why did you say yes?"

Will's hands slowed and the lowered down to lay over his middle. "He sounded upset over the phone. Like he'd been crying. I hate letting people cry." Will's face scrunched in a grimace.

Ah, thought Balcuwitz. Dealing with empathy and not being able to break from it. That old problem.

"Being empathetic isn't a weakness. It gives you insight into people's motivations. The trick is to step back and not let it overwhelm you." Balcuwitz made a note, the first one in the entire session, to talk more about separation techniques at a later date. "What about the rest of day? More swinging of the pendulum?"

"I had to put in a request for a desk upstairs. I'd never done that before. Not even for family. It's gonna be weird not being at my normal desk." Will tilted his head, facing Balcuwitz. "Can I ask a more professional question?"

"Yes."

"When I was with Rachel, she said she'd been testing my blood."

"Is that unusual?"

"I remember her taking blood during the test days that I had to carry Louis around inside me. But she said she had also taken blood other times." Will's fingers dug into the loose wrinkles of his gray shirt. "I can understand taking blood from Louis and all his tests; she's trying to figure out what was done to him. But why test me?"

Balcuwitz became very aware of the files piled on his desk. First-hand reports of what happened to agents Will and Louis while in the Freewill compound. And the further files of Yanif Retten he had been told to review. Cetz had told him to create a psychological profile of Retten and to keep Louis out of the loop. He wondered what other things were being kept from Will and Louis, even if it was for their own good.

"You were taken by Retten too," said Balcuwitz. "You, Louis, and Doctor Massaru weren't able to confirm what happened to you from the time you blacked out in Freewill's custody until you woke up on a gurney. If Retten did something to you to change the way Louis is able to function while ingested, Rachel needed to know."

"...oh." Will looked stunned. "I never thought of that. I thought Louis was the only... important one? Essential? Damn, why did Retten put Louis in me of all people?"

Why indeed? Perhaps the answer would be in the profile he had yet to write.

"I don't even know how to process this." Will rubbed at his eyes. "Gah, I'm so tired. I don't want to go back to database sheets."

Balcuwitz nodded in sympathy. Will looked tired. Tired enough he almost told Will to take an hour and nap on the couch. Break in the leather and make it useful for something other than head talks. And then give Balcuwitz a review of the couch because he had a feeling he'd be doing some long nights in the office too.

Balcuwitz gestured to his own inbox. "I can relate."