Amanda: Is This Love?

chapter 24

Its monday today and the house is busy, we are all running around trying to get everything ready for the first day of the week. Buhle is sitting on the high chair having breakfast, Ngiphile is upstairs doing God knows what, I'm preparing lunch for them. "Mommy! I cannot find my sports socks" Ngiphile shouts from upstairs. "What did i say about shouting?!" She doesnt respond. After a couple of minutes she walks down dressed in her school tracksuits and takkies. "Mommy i cannot find my socks".

I shoot her a look while i pack Buhle's chocolate spread sandwich and juice with carrot sticks for snack time. After doing so "pack your lunch, I'll be right back" I go into her messy room and exactly where i told her to look is where i find a pair of socks.

I quickly change into sweatpants and a hoodie with slippers before going downstairs. "Okay kids lets go!" I hand Phile her shocks. We first drop her off at school "bye mommy, bye Buhle" she plants a kiss on my cheek before rushing out of the car, i roll down the window "hey! I love you!" She smiles before blowing me a kiss and running into the school premises.

I take Buhle to school and with him its different, i need to take him all the way to class. Driving back home there's so much traffic, i make it back at home at 9 meaning I'm already 30 minutes late for work. I change into a black ankle grazer power suite and a pair of block heels before fixing my afro ponytail. I arrive at work at 10. Lucky enough I think no one has noticed that yet.

Linda is in and she managed to cover up for me. The first thing i do as soon as i take my seat is email my resignation to the management. "Linda, I'm filing in my resignation, i thought its only fair that you hair this from me instead of finding out from the rest of the office" she chuckles a bit before noticing that I'm actually serious,she stops what she was doing on her desk and walks over to mine,she takes a seat infront of me "Ms A, what about my job?" Shoot! I never actually thought of that. "You can always come and work for my company" she beams a bit, we talk more about my job offer to her before getting back to what i get paid for.

While still busy with work i recieve a call on my personal phone which is odd because when I'm at work everyone knows to call me on my work phone. "Amanda,hello" i answer. "Ms Mthethwa, this is Mrs Andrews from Kinder college preschool, I'm calling with regards to Buhlebenkosi, he hasnt been feeling well since lunchtime, he's been sweating excessively and had trouble breathing so we've rushed him to Netcare clinton hospital, please meet us there" immediately after she finished speaking i hung up and sat on my chair trying to register what i just heard.  My baby was okay when we went to the wedding on saturday, he was perfectly fine when we went to church yesterday ho-- "Ms A, are you okay?" Linda brings me back to reality .

"Buhle!" Thats all i manage to utter before grabbing my handbag, car keys and cellphone. I drive out to the hospital. When i arrive there I'm directed to the paediatric ward. As soon as i arrive i find his teacher in the waiting room. She updates me on what happened the whole day before he started getting sick. My child would never eat anyone else's food and he isnt allergic to anything. I try to calm down but I'm thinking of worst cases that could happen, i cannot lose my baby.

I call my mom. "Ma, Buhle is admitted in hospital" I'm at the verge of breaking down. "Haii Amanda, how? What happened?" And just at the sound of her voice i break. "Where are you?" She asks. "Clinton" i say while trying to contain my tears. She hangs up after letting me know that she's on her way.

It's been hours of sitting here with no feedback at all. My parents allowed the teacher to leave since it's getting late. Dad went to fetch Phile and she's here with us. All this wait is killing me,i want to know exactly what it is thats bothering my son.

Hours later the doctor approaches us. "Buhlebenkosi Mthethwa?" He asks while mispronouncing my childs name, "I'm his mother, what's wrong? Is he going to be okay?" I'm trying so hard to supress my tears. "Mam we've ran all tests and we cannot seem to find what the course of his condition is, but we are working tirelessly to find our what might have led to his reaction, we will run more tests in the morning.

*1 week later*
Its been a week, I'm such a mess, my baby isnt even responding to medication, he's turned pale, my heart breaks everytime I see him, I've stopped going to work and luckily my resignation was of effect yesterday. My company is on hold currently. I cannot think straight, all i ever do is spend time on these uncomfortable hospital benches. My mum went to visit her prophet pastor, I'm not against prophets but i hate it when they start doing the work of God while expecting money in return. I believe that God will heal Buhle.

The doctors think it's probably an issue relating to his lungs considering that he is a preterm baby. I'm sitting here trying to at least drink some coffee because i cannot eat anything knowing that my baby hasnt had anything in a week now. My mum walks "baby, how are you feeling"she pulls me into her arms, she smells of incense, i dont even care i just cry in her arms.

"Dont you think it's time you involved the Ndlovu's?" I remove myself from her arms and look at her in disbelief. "What will they do? They weren't present his whole life what makes you think they'll have a way of saving my son now?" She sighs, "the prophet said we need to allow the Ndlovu's to do what's right for the kids especially Buhle since he is the heir of the Ndlovu clan" is she even listening to herself right now?

"I'm going to get fresh air" i stand before she can even say anything and i go and sit outside on one of the benches. I cannot believe that my mother wants me to involve Zweli in my son's life when the same man didnt bother making means to do right by his kids. I've forgiven him for what happened when Ngiphile was conceived but I will never forgive him for abondoning me when I was expecting Buhle.

I walk back in and find my mother now sitting with my dad. The doctor is standing there with them and my mum is in tears. I'm shaking now, "doctor? Is my son okay?" He sighs "I'm afraid that his health is slowlt deteriorating as he is rejecting medication, your son is surviving on life support but we are doing the best we can to ensure that we find the course of this" I let out a loud cry, i cannot take this anymore, I'm tired. I just want my son back, even if it means involving Zweli and his family, for my son's sake i will...