Secret Affairs

You're in my Veins

August 2006

Nothin' goes as planned
Everything will break
People say goodbye
In their own special way

Patrick slowly breathed, he had no idea how he would tell her. His hands shook, trying to calm himself before walking into the trailer for the first time since he kissed her and told her how he felt. He knew he shouldn't have, especially now. Now he was stuck, he was really stuck. He shook his head, trying to rack his brain of the perfect words to say. He couldn't just tell her straight out, he couldn't tell the woman he was in love with that he had accidentally got his wife that he despised pregnant. With twins at that. He finally got the courage to leave his car and walk inside the first table read of the season. Almost everyone had arrived except Ellen and Katherine Heigl. He was shocked she wasn't here early, she and TR usually arrived at the same time.

"Hey man, how was your break?" TR said coming from behind him.

"Oh it was great, just spent some time with the family. How about you?" He asked.

"Me and Pat moved into a new place together. You and Jill should come over for dinner sometime," he smiled friendly.

"Definitely! You heard from Ellen?" He asked.

"I talked to her the other day. She should be here by now," he furrowed his brows as he looked at him watch. Just then she came through the door, her hair tied up in a bun but it looked lighter than it was the last time he had saw her. He had tried calling a few times over the break to apologize but she never managed to pick up the phone.

"Speak of the devil," TR smiled as Ellen walked close to the two of them and she hugged TR.

"I felt my ears burning. Hope it was all good," she joked as she looked at the pair.

"Always," TR replied with his bright smile.

"Katie better hurry up," Patrick said casually.

"Yeah," Ellen agreed, she backed away from them and went to sit in her seat. Patrick slowly made his way over to her casually, trying not to gather the attention of everyone else.

"Hey, I need to talk to you after the read," he whispered down into her ear. She just nodded, not saying a word. He knew she was still mad at him, which was understandable but he still didn't know how he was going to break the news to her. He went to sit a few places down next to Kate where his name plate was sat.

"Hey, what's that?" Sandra said as she grabbed Ellen's hand. Patrick looked over and notice the giant ring on her finger as well, his heart dropped immediately.

"Well I guess the cat is out of the bag. Chris proposed in Italy," Ellen smiled widely, she seemed genuinely happy. Patrick felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.

"Congratulations on joining the club," Patrick smiled weakly, trying to sound happy while everyone else was congratulating as well.

"I guess I got some news to share as well, Jillian is pregnant," he gulped as he noticed Ellen frown that quickly hid into a smile. The awe's continued from the cast.

"Congratulations Pat," Kate smiled next to him.

"Thanks, yeah we found out it was twins too," he chuckled nervously, looking around at everyone just trying to get a look at Ellen's face.

"Are you trying to catch up with me?" Justin joked at him.

"Oh no, total surprise. We are definitely done," Patrick laughed as well.

"I bet Talula is excited," Ellen finally peeped up.

"She's ecstatic," he replied. They all quieted down as Shonda and the producers walked in.

"Who's ready to get Season 3 started," Shonda smiled at everyone as she sat in her seat at the head of the room. They started reading off lines, giving off examples of the scenes and setting everything and the emotions that needed to be had in the scenes. It was longer than a normal table read, mostly because they all just needed to get back into the swing of things.

"Ok that's a wrap, I can't wait for you all to see what the season has in store," Shonda smiled at them as she released them. Patrick stood from his chair, he was the first to walk out. Normally they would stay and chat but he didn't had the energy or the mindset to think about anything except the ring that sat on Ellen's finger. He opened the door to his car but stopped when he heard a voice behind him.

"What did you need to talk about?" Ellen said as she finally caught up to Patrick just about to get into his car.

"I just wanted to say it was over, and I'm sorry for what has been going on the past two years. We are both in happy relationships and it was just a little fling," he choked on his words as he spoke them. None of them had truth, he really didn't know what else to say. She was obviously happy with Chris and there wasn't anything he could do anymore especially since they are getting married.

"We can still be friends though, I'm glad we are on the same page," she smiled weakly.

"Of course," he nodded to her before climbing into his Porsche.