Secret Affairs

Wait for you

Authors note; I'm so thankful for every comment and star I have received and glad you guys like this. Now this chapter, as others have, contains real events that happened on set. I don't condone anything that was said, I felt disgusted even writing it. So bare with me, things will get happier and light soon.

September 2006

But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Patrick looked to the outside of his trailer, watching as the other cast members made their way to the set. He knew he should get going as well, something just burned inside him. Ellen and him had barely spoken since the first table read, he just couldn't shake the feeling of knowing she was getting married. It hurt him in a way that he hadn't been before.

He managed to pull himself up and follow the last of the crew to the set, he found his way over to Ellen and Sandra who were chatting to each other. He couldn't help but hear Isaiah raise his voice to one of the producers about something but he wasn't quite loud enough for everyone to hear.

"This is insane, what's his deal?" Sandra said to Ellen and Patrick as the three stood back from the events unfolding. He began to get louder and caught everyone's attention.

"This is ridiculous! I don't have time for this shit!" Isaiah shouted angrily at one of the directors.

"Like you haven't ever been late before Isaiah. I had an emergency," TR quickly replied. He had never been one to cause drama on the set.

"If I wanted to hear excuses from the faggot, I'd ask!" Isaiah spat. Patrick quickly reacted, realizing it was getting out of hand.

"Woah, what the hell Isaiah!" Sandra said loudly.

"Calm down man," Patrick tried to push Isaiah back before he said anything else. Isaiah quickly shoved him out of the way, trying to walk past him. Patrick saw red at the fact of being push, his fist clenched as he swung at Isaiah, locking his fist to his jaw.

"Patrick!" Ellen yelled at the two.

"You mother-" Isaiah grabbed the collar of Patrick's shirt and pushed him against a wall, his hand around his neck. Security arrived just in time to pull Isaiah off him, dragging him away.

"What the hell is going on here!" Shonda appeared on the set.

"You better get him," Patrick growled as he stormed off the set. Ellen quickly followed him to his trailer.

"Patrick! Are you alright?" Ellen said as she chased him into the trailer.

"I could kill him. That was uncalled for, I mean that word is disgusting. Now TR was dragged out by him and everyone knows his personal business because that bastard can't keep his temper down," Patrick loudly stated, trying to calm himself down. He wasn't a fighter but Isaiah had finally took it too far.

"I know. You shouldn't have hit him," Ellen shook her head.

"He was asking for it," Patrick said as he examined his hand.

"I never said he wasn't. But you could both lose your jobs over that," Ellen replied.

"He needs to," he growled.

"I know but that is no excuse," Ellen said in a raised voice.

"Why are you even here?" He quickly spat, "you have barely spoken to me since the first table read other than when we are acting."

"Don't turn this on me. I was just checking up on you," she spat back.

"It's the truth. It's like you are completely moving on from what we had and just living in fairyland with Chris," Patrick growled as he ran his hands through his hair.

"I'm being an adult and moving on, something you know nothing about. I thought we moved past this, I was giving you space. And you have no room to talk, if you were so in love with me and whatever you spewed, why the hell is Jillian pregnant?" She said in a hushed tone, anger still filled in her words.

"This is ridiculous, I'm done talking about this," He shook his head and turned his back to her.

"Oh no, you don't just get to run away when the truth is told. We both are moving on with our lives, it's all fine and dandy for you to just go on about your life with your wife but the second I try to be happy and make the best of my life, I'm the bad guy," she growled back at him.

"You want to know the truth? I was drunk, I was in my office drinking when Jillian walked in and I don't even remember half of it. That was the first time
I even touched the woman since I started fucking you. I didn't want her, it was regret sex. I regretted every second of it because it wasn't you!" He furrowed his brows, trying to not let the tears fall from his eyes. He couldn't help but notice the shock on her face.

"I-I don't even know what to say. We can't take one step forward and a hundred steps back," she shook her head at him.

"I didn't plan on it, you brought it up," he sighed, knowing he shouldn't have blown up like he did.

"I told her I wanted a divorce. Before she found out she was pregnant, I told her I wasn't happy anymore. She went crazy and threw a hairdryer at me. She told me she would take Talula, I didn't have a choice. We are in counseling, she said it would fix whatever but I know there isn't," he said honestly to her.

"Patrick, you shouldn't," she quickly tried to change his mind.

"It wasn't you. You didn't break me, I was already broken before the show. I realized how much I didn't love her when Talula was six weeks old, and she said she was hiring a nanny because Talula was too much. I didn't want to be with a woman who didn't even want to take care of her own child. She didn't work, she still doesn't work. But we have a nanny, that's why Talula spends so much time with me. I'm the only parent who wants her. Jillian won't even give her the time of day, she's too focused on some make-up line that she wants to create," Patrick let a few tears fall as he spoke. He hadn't told anyone that, he was too scared to tell anyone.

"I didn't know," Ellen said with sadness.

"I know you think you broke my marriage, but you did nothing but make the truth come to light, and now I'm about to be a father to three kids and I don't even know how I'm going to do it and I couldn't even tell my best friend how I felt," he shook as he said the words.

"I'm sorry. I really am, you should have told me. You should have told me everything, you are an amazing father and I know you will be just as good with the twins," she walked over to him and grabbed him into an embrace.

"I know. It just felt like it would make things more complicated," he breathed deeply as he finally wrapped his arms around her.

"We can be friends. We have to move past this Patrick, even if you don't want your marriage to work. I do, we both have so much to lose," she hated saying those words but it was the truth. It couldn't be more than that.

"If that what it takes, I don't want to give up on this," he sighed as he pulled himself away from her.

"Friends?" She offered her hand out to him.

"Friends," he smiled weakly as he placed his hand in hers. He won't give up on her, and having a future. He didn't care how long it took, but it was what could keep him sane.