Secret Affairs

Surrender

May 2009

Whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready
Whenever you're ready, whenever you're ready
Can we? Can we surrender?
Can we? Can we surrender?
I surrender

Patrick sat in the chair next to Ellen, watching her lay there unconscious with a tube breathing for her scarred the life of him. The complications from the c-section scared him to death. It had been 48 hours sense their baby was born, they were beginning to wean her from oxygen as she was doing tremendously. He was feeling so many emotions, he knew in his heart she would eventually wake up, the doctors said her heart had stopped for two minutes before they could get her back. The blood loss was too much for her body to handle, they were unsure how her brain would be once she woke up.

"Sometime soon, our little girl will be able to come meet you. I know she will want to see you, god El she is so beautiful. She looks just like you," he said, trying to keep the tears from falling down his cheeks.

"She's so strong, a fighter. Talula is so excited to meet her, I told her as soon as we go home she can come over. I hope that's ok," he continued, he wasn't sure if she could even hear him but deep down he hoped she could.

"I need you to make it through El, I can't do this without you," he reached over, grabbing her hand and squeezing it a little. He was a little taken aback when she reacted and squeezed back.

"Ellen?" He asked, she still had her eyes closed but she squeezed her hand once more. He immediately jumped up, rushing to the nurses station.

"I think she's awake," he said quickly.

"I'll page the doctor," she replied, and it was like fate as her doctor turned the corner.

"Hi Mr. Dempsey," she said with a smile.

"She squeezed my hand, I was talking to her and she squeezed it after I called her name a few times," he said full of hope. The doctor followed him in, examining her and she looked at him.

"We are going to wean her off the vent and lower her sedation," she replied. Patrick felt a weight lift from him as she said that. He sat there for hours, waiting on her to come to. He had went and checked in on the baby a few times, she was doing amazing as well. He felt nervous every time he walked into Ellen's room, hoping she would be awake. He felt a little sad when he walked back in and saw she was still asleep. He sighed, sitting back down next to her. Talking to her seemed to help, she still had a bit of consciousness to her. His heart dropped when her eyes begin to flutter open and closed. She looked confused and scared as she looked at him.

"Hey, you're awake," he said with a ready smile.

"Where's the baby?" She croaked as she looked at him.

"She's doing amazing Ellen, she's still in the NICU but they said she could probably go home in a few days. I hoped you'd be awake by now," he smiled.

"How long?"

"Two days now, the doctors were shocked of how well she is doing. She's eating so good and starting to finish 20ml's per feeding. She looks just like you," he smiled.

"I wanna see her," she said as she tried to get up but she gasp as a sharp pain shot through her abdomen.

"Hey, be careful please. You aren't healed and could tear open your stomach," he immediately stopped her.

"I need to see her Patty," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Look," he said and immediately pulled out his cell phone. He had taken tons of pictures of her and he scrolled through them for Ellen.

"She's got your eyes," Ellen said with a smile.

"We can ask the doctor when she comes back in if we can go see her. Ellen you scared me to death, I don't ever want to lose you," he said honestly as he looked at her.

"Marry me," the words spilled from his mouth.

"What?" She said, looking at him crazy.

"I know it's insane but almost losing you made me realize I can't live without you. I love you Ellen Kathleen and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you every single day," he said.

"Of course I'll marry you Patrick," she said with a smile at him. He smiled, shaking his head as he reached over and kissed her.

"Let me go get the doc," he said as he rushed out to find someone.

"Hey, Pompeo is awake and she wants to know when she can see her daughter in the NICU," he asked the nurse standing there.

"I'll ask her doctor and come let you know," she replied and he went back to sit with her.

"They said soon," he said with a smile, "god you look so beautiful."

"You're insane," she chuckled lightly, shaking her head.

"You do, you have a glow. A motherly glow," he smiled widely at her.

"I just woke up from a massive surgery, I am in pain and I just want to see my baby and you are talking nonsense," she couldn't help but smile at him. She knew he was just trying to make her feel better. He was about to say something when a nurse came in with a wheelchair.

"Now Ms. Pompeo, are you sure you're up for this?" She asked kindly.

"I've waited on this for months now, I just want to meet her," Ellen said, almost in tears. Her emotions were running high, she had waited on this moment forever now.

"Alright, here let me help you get up," she insisted and went to her side. Patrick got on the opposite side and the two helped her slowly get up. She winced with ever movement but was determined to go see her baby. Patrick walked behind the two as they slowly made their was to where the baby was.

"There she is," he said happily, noticing the wires from around her nose had been removed since he last saw her.

"Oh my god," Ellen said as she started to cry, she couldn't believe it. She was a mother now, and to the most beautiful baby girl she had ever seen.

"Her pulse ox is holding at a steady 95 without oxygen, she's doing fantastic," the nurse came over.

"Can I get her?" Patrick asked and the nurse nodded. He carefully picked her up into his arms, she started stirring and a small whimper came from her tiny body. He hadn't got to hold her unattached from everything yet.

"Hi baby girl, this is your mama," he said happily, bouncing her lightly in his arms.

"Patrick, she's beautiful," she said with tears, looking at her.

"Can I hold her?" Ellen asked to the nurse.

"Just be careful, don't move too much," the nurse cautioned. Patrick carefully placed her into her arms, Ellen's eyes immediately lit up at the sight.

"Hi," she cooed as she patted the little girls bottom and ran her finger across her tiny forehead.

"She doesn't weigh anything," Ellen said, wiping her own tears. She snuggled closely to Ellen's chest.

"She needs a name," Patrick said, in awe at the sight her was witnessing.

"She looks like a Isabella to me, what do you think?" She asked.

"It fits, our little Bella," he smiled, they had a few other names in mind but he wanted her to pick it, and finally she had a name, Isabella Kathleen Dempsey.

Author's note: hey guys, I'm just letting you know I kind of hit a wall with this story. Idk what I want to do next. If you have any ideas I can bounce off I'd be happy to hear them.