Darkness Into Light • P. MAXIMOFF

Part 9

Y/N'S POV:

i woke up from my nap and didn't feel the warmth of pietro's body , he must have left. i looked over to his bed and he wasn't in it , i then heard talking outside my door but i couldn't make out what they were saying or who it was , i walk up to the door after a minute when everything was silent again. i opened the door to find pietro standing there and he spoke saying "sorry princessa did i wake you" i replied back in a sleepy voice "no pietro" he walked back into the room and i sat on the bed as he sat beside me. "who were you talking too" i asked and he quickly responded "the avengers" i gave him a confused look and said "what is the avengers" he gave me a surprised look and said "did tony not tell you , he is iron man and the leader of the world's mightiest heroes , the avengers". 

"i think i've heard of them before , how are they the world's mightiest heroes though" i asked he then responded with "well we all have these abilities that make us stronger than everyone else , i have superspeed , wanda can read minds and has telekinesis , energy manipulation and can get inside your head making you have waking nightmares , clint is the most skiller archer , natasha is a super assassin , tony is a billionaire , genius , playboy , philanthropist , steve is a super soldier , bucky is a super soldier and ex assassin , bruce is the hulk , thor is the god of lightning , loki's powers are  astral projection , shape-shifting , hypnosis , molecular rearrangement , energy blasts , levitating , conjuration , cryokinesis , telekinesis and teleportation , peters is spiderman , vision has superhuman senses , superhuman stamina , reflexes , speed , agility , strength , superhuman analytical capabilities , and the ability to process information and make calculations with superhuman speed and accuracy , there's more avengers that you haven't met yet but those are the ones that were here" i looked at him in shock. 

"wow" i said "yes there is a lot of them i know" pietro replied. just then someone knocked on the door "come in" we both said at the same time , pepper opened the door and said "i was just seeing if you were awake , dinner will be ready in 15 minutes" she said with a smile on her face "okay thank you , pepper" i replied with as i smiled back at her and then she turned walking out of the room. 

"well princessa tell me about yourself" pietro said to me "well i'm fifteen , i lived in new jersey my whole life , i never knew who my father was until today , i like AC/DC , five seconds of summer and bring me the horizon all bands by the way , my mother was always an abusive drunken druggie and so was her boyfriend she hated me very much , and that's really it to be honest" i replied "what about those cuts on your arm what are they for" he said staring at me straight in the eyes with his deep blue ones , i gulped and then i said "oh they are nothing trust me" he then said "your lying" he then grabbed my hand and said "please don't hurt yourself , you are such a beautiful and intelligent person so don't think anything different and if someone tells you that you are not any of those things they are lying , if u ever need to talk about anything i am here for you princessa" i was crying tears rolling down my cheeks as i gave pietro a hug and whispered "thank you pietro" he hugged me tighter and then we heard F.R.I.D.A.Y. speak "mrs potts has told me to notify you all that dinner is ready" 

me and pietro stood up and started walking to where pepper was , i had stopped crying , i was very nervous for dinner i didn't wanna eat but i had to , i got to the point where i was so nervous that i just grabbed pietro's hand tightly which caused him to give me a confused look and he then realized i was nervous about something and just held my hand back not questioning me. we got to where pepper was and all the avengers were there , i let go of pietro's hand and we both sat down at the table and pepper handed us both a plate of food each. everyone had finished there's except me , i had eaten half of mine before i said "can i be excused please" pepper gave me a worrying smile knowing i barely ate half of the food but still said "ye , sure honey"

 i got up from the table and walked back to my room without looking back at everyone. when i got to my room i rushed into the bathroom and started shoving my fingers down my throat desperate to get all the food i just ate up . i was crying and vomiting into the toilet and i kept doing that until there was nothing left to vomit up no matter how hard i tried , i quickly flushed the toilet and i ran the sink , i started to wash my face and i took a bit of water in my mouth and spat it out to get the vomit taste out of my mouth also incase anyone smelled it on my breath. 

i seen a bag of mine it had shampoo , conditioner , body wash , face wash and there it was , the think i wanted , the shiny cold piece of metal that took away all my pain for a while it was like my best friend at this point , i was still crying as i took the thin piece of metal out of the bag and lifted up my sleeve and dragged the cold metal across the skin on my other forearm as there were cuts all over my other one already. 

ur ugly , your fat , your worthless i thought to myself making three deep cuts on my wrist , no one loves you , your annoying , everyone hates you so much i thought again making three more cuts right underneath the other cuts i had made just seconds beforehand , no wonder your mother didn't want you look at you , your just a sorry mistake for a person , your a life wasted i made another three more cuts , there was blood everywhere , on the white tiles ,  in the sink , on the tap's and all over my arm and hand , i couldn't even see the cuts all i could see was blood and it wasn't stopping either. 

 i ran the water and started washing my arm as the blood from the sink washed away too , when i was done i started to clean the floor with paper towels that i put water on , the floor was clean again and i put the bloody paper towels in the bin , i the got more and started cleaning the tap's , the sink was already clean because it all washed away when i was washing my arm which was bleeding again fuck , i quickly washed all the blood off until it stopped bleeding , i was finished cleaning and i gave my blade a quick rinse before putting it back in my bag and zipping it up , i was feeling very dizzy and i walked out of the bathroom and pulled down my sleeve as i stumbled over to my bed and collapsed on it as i passed out from the loss of blood. 

(A/N thanks for reading this book and it has now ranked in at #104 in selfharmawarness , i am so happy that people are actually reading this so that i can show you all just a bit of the reality of the world and how self harm is used to cope with mental health issues or just normal bullying that happens or abandonment etc so thank you for the reads and please leave comments on how this book can improve to be better , thank you - the author)