An Ode to Maehwa | kth

Chapter 60: The Horizon

Soil, dust, sweat and iron—the smell of death. Taehyung hated the smell of war. Now heavily armoured, he knew he was growing closer to that than ever, and his nose twitched.

He brainstormed all he could, even if he didn't want to, to the biggest and probably the last battle of this civil war. He had gone through many expected scenarios in his brain even the highly impossible one, but never this one.

"Hyungnim...."

He was hindered right before he had gotten to the border by someone on a horse. Just like Taehyung, the man was leading his armies at a distance on his back.

He had never expected to face Namjoon on a battlefield.

He met his cold gaze, too familiar to his liking. He had exchanged swords before with him, but only on the Martial Arts Tournament, which was meant to be for show. It never meant life or death.

'The day,' Yoongi had said. Did he mean this?

Taehyung felt hopeless at his presence. Even if Namjoon despised him, he could never feel the same. He thought he would rather die than raise a sword against him.

"Hyungnim," he called, his voice shaking slightly. "I know why you despise me."

Namjoon pierced him with his eyes, facing Taehyung without a word.

"Because you know about my birth. Because you think I seek the throne, and that I could very well be a threat to you."

Everything started back when that woman crudely claimed to be Taehyung's mother out of pure greed. Namjoon must have heard it, and hence he offered to go to the Western State in order to investigate the truth on his own. Much later, Taehyung learnt the same thing. He couldn't believe it when he heard from the brothel's guard, who helped him bury his mother, say that the Emperor had been his mother's guest back in the days.

His mother had never said who his father was. And she could probably never tell.

It shattered him to think that the person who he purely believed saved him from rotting in the streets out of his good will, had disregarded his mother, and came to collect only because he was his possession. Because the blood mattered the most within the royals.

All the love he thought he received, might have been a lie.

But he couldn't confirm, and he believed he didn't need to. Because you were the one who saved him from the pit of turmoil. The valley of shredded qualm. That he shouldn't betray his past self. In that moment he felt like he could finally breathe again. You probably had no idea how much it meant to him. He eyed down at the jaded glow on his finger. It was a promise, anchor and hope.

It was only the morning of his departure that everything was revealed.

"I love you, my son. I have always loved you."

And with those words, he felt like he was saved. And that finally, he could clear out all the doubts and brace his inner child.

Namjoon had thought of Taehyung as a threat.

With how his mother brainwashed him that he needed to be the next heir, having Seokjin as the strong competitor was more than enough. With how the palace weighed more on blood than how one was raised, finding out that there was one more member in the family who had a potential of inheriting the status was never acceptable. It didn't help that Taehyung was smart, strong and liked. It didn't matter that he was a beggar on a street or a child of a prostitute, what mattered was that he had a chance to snatch away the throne that Namjoon needed to grab.

"Hyungnim, I never desired to sit on the throne. All I wanted was for Seokjin hyung to inherit it like he deserved, help him and you, together with Jungkook to keep our people happy," Taehyung said, his words sincere. "All I wanted to be was your good brother."

And Namjoon believed that. Although the frustration had clouded his mind, at the back of his mind, deep down his heart, he could feel Taehyung's earnersty. He could never acknowledge, because that would mean denying his mother.

But that was in the past.

Namjoon inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with the smell of warzone, but among it, he believed he could smell hope.

"Then take my hand."

Their eyes met. Taehyung searched for the meaning behind those eyes.

"I have talked to my aunt, and she had agreed on what I wanted," he paused. "Peace and family."

Like Seokjin wanted. If he was the beacon of his life, then he would only do the same. He will live to carry on Seokjin's will. He will live to treasure what he had been missing. He had found the reason to keep his heart beating.

"Hyungnim...."

"Come on, we have a peace to make," Namjoon prompted as he kicked the side of his horse and led the way.

Taehyung soon followed, and close to the horizon, two brothers' backs lined side by side.

—back in the palace, Emperor's residence

She was like an untouchable white porcelain. Untainted and graceful. Even if people considered the place and the job filthy, she was far from that. He loved her, so dearly. He believed he had never been so passionately in love. But there was no way he could bring her back as an Empress. He tried, he pleaded if he could take her in as a consort. He promised he'd treasure her, but she only shook her head. That she didn't desire to live confined with all the rules.

It hurt to leave her hand. But he was responsible for the land and his people, and he needed to do what he needed to do. Occasionally, he'd send a man to see her wellbeing and that was when he had found out she had a child. Soon enough, he found out the boy's name was what they had chatted while holding hands as night dipped darker. Taehyung; hoping all his wishes will come true.

After the aching news of her death, he had looked for an opportunity to look for the boy. And he had found him on the street, dirt all over his body but eyes so pure just like his mother's. If he couldn't make her happy, he at least had to make her son happy.

His breath was growing shallower. While he felt regret leaving his family behind, he felt relieved for who awaited him. His beloved, Seokjin, and even Lady Myungok, the pitiful soul. At least their afterlife should be better than this bitter reality.

He wasn't afraid as his heartbeat counted the last.

A/N:

So I never really understood what 'angst' was, wondering how people write angsty stories...until I figured this book is fitting in the category pretty well lol

And Namjoon is not a puppet anymore, he can think, choose and be the brainy he has always been.