In love with my husband

Chasing my insecurities away

When everyone finally stood to leave, I was relieved. I didn't even feel tiny amount of guilt at thinking such. All day, I sat there, Ruchika being the center of attention and I didn't like it one bit. Not because I wanted the attention, no, because I was scared that they liked her more than me.

Before everyone wished goodbye, mom pulled Avishek to her room saying she had something to talk to him. Few minutes later they came out, both lost in thoughts.

All of them wished goodbye, I felt like mom hugged me extra hard and extra long but maybe it was me who did that. Once again, we 3 were left at the house. I closed the door and turned to see Avishek frowning at me.

Why do people keep frowning at me today? Biggest shock was Avishek talking to me in the kitchen. It was nothing really special, but it was more than what we normally did. None of us wanted dinner, as we were still full of the evening snacks, so, all of us went to our respective room.

I changed into my night clothes, slid inside the blanket and waited for sleep to come. Instead, Avishek came. He too changed, turned off the lights, and slid inside the blanket. The entire day's events roamed inside my head and it was impossible for me to sleep.

"Are you awake?" I suddenly heard. 

I was in mid-process of turning to my right when I head Avishek. He is talking so much today. Why?

"Yes. Why?" I asked.

He didn't speak. I got frustrated. Why would he speak when he had no intention to talk further.

"Do you skip lunch every-day?" he asked in a rush.

I froze. Why was he asking me that? Who told him? Was it Ruchika? No, I ate lunch with her. Why did he care?

"Seema?" he insisted.

"No. Why do you ask?" I replied.

 It wasn't a lie. I don't skip it anymore.

"You lost weight and mom said it was because you were skipping lunch." He said.

That woman is too stubborn.

I hesitated for a second and decided to tell the truth.

"I did at first when mom and dad moved out. I didn't do it on purpose though. It's just, I ate with them everyday and suddenly, they were not here, I was alone all day. I didn't want to make lunch for me alone and I didn't have any appetite too." I said quietly.

He was silent for some time. Just when I thought he wouldn't speak, he spoke.

"Sorry."

"What are you sorry for? You didn't make me skip my meals." I responded confused.

"No, but I know I came home late during that time. I didn't want to come home because it was so silent." 

That was true. It was really silent.

"We don't speak much anyway. It was always kids, and mom, dad. Without them, I felt like I was living alone. I didn't think how you'd be feeling." He added.

Seriously, what was going on? He is apologizing for not considering my feeling. Holy shit, we aren't the kind of couple to do that.

"Uh, it's okay. It's not your fault. If I had a place to go every-day, I would not want to come home too." I said honestly.

"Do, do you want to work?" he asked hesitantly.

"What?" I laughed. Because it was funny.

"Earlier you said you were always home, now you said you'd not want to come home if you had a place to go. I thought, you wanted to work." he reasoned.

"No." I snickered. 

I don't know why it was funny, but it was. Maybe the long day was finally catching up to me.

"I said so because it's true. I don't have to go to office, and I am happy being at home. Think about it, you work all day at your office, in your house, then you go as a guest to someone else's, if you have to work there too, you'd feel tired. I would feel bad if I were in their place, so, I didn't want to make them do any work." I said.

"So, you don't want to work?" he confirmed.

"No. I don't have any skills for working anyway." I said. And stopped. 

I didn't want to say that. I should have stopped after No.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Nothing, nothing, I am just rambling. Go to sleep." I said, turned my back towards him and covered myself from head to toe. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Seema," he called. "tell me what you meant" he asked firmly.

I should've just kept my mouth shut.

"I didn't go to college. And I wasn't very good in school either. I don't really have any real qualification or skill to survive in the world out there." I said, feeling extremely embarrassed.

"You don't have to go to college to survive. Yes, it does give you a degree and that helps a lot in today's world, but there are many people out there, who don't have degree, just learnt from the experiences from life. Maybe they earn little, but if they know how to be happy with what they have, they will have a peaceful life." He said.

I didn't know what to say. I was searching for words when he added, "and you have many skills. You raised two stubborn kids, which means you have determination and patience, you take care of mom and dad really well, which means you have a kind heart, and you've lived with me, despite our unusual scenario, which means you can adapt to any situation. If you go out today, no matter what you do, I'm sure you'll be fine. It might be hard, but you can do it."

I was thankful that light was off, because I was about to cry like a baby. My eyes had welled up halfway because his words. I had to take deep breathe to compose myself.

"Thank you." I said after making sure my voice was not wobbly.

"I'm just speaking the truth." He said.

"Thank you." I couldn't speak anything else.

After much silence, I whispered "Goodnight" to him. He wished the same.

But again, sleep didn't come easily. Although this time, it was because of Avishek and his words.

I like how Avishek is moving, don't you? *giggles*

That's all for today. Don't forget to vote and comment if you liked the story.