She loved him and He loved her but it wasn't that simple. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you ever get that feeling where it feels like the air has been knocked out of you when you see that one person that you have been dreading to see. Well that feeling is here. He's here with her and they are holding hands and laughing. I don't know how to feel right now it just hurts. I don't speak to either of them I just put my plate in the sink and head towards my room not once making eye contact with him.
I walk up stairs and feel the tears start to well in my eyes I hear his boots hitting the stairs and as I walk into the bedroom I leave the door open and stand with my back towards the door. He walks in and he shuts the door.
"Harry this is the last time I'm doing this I can't handle us fighting all the time I can't handle us being happy together one moment and angry the next.I can't do it. " I turn around to face him and he has tears in his eyes." I can't do it anymore I'm tiered of crying because of you. And you know what it hurt me it really hurt me to see you with her to see you holding hands with her and laughing. It fucking hurts it felt...."
"It felt like some one has just shot you. It felt like your whole world came crashing down. It felt like the ground opened up and swallow you whole. It felt like your heart was ripped out of your chest and it felt like hell. I know what that feels like because that's how I feel every time I see you with him.And when...when you said boyfriend..God it hurt it hurt so fucking much." He says finishing my sentence. We look into each others eyes and I can feel every piece of my heart breaking into a thousand little peices. "I'm sorry Harry I just...." "You just nothing , Ember you warned me you warned me and I didn't listen and I know I promised that I wouldn't leave you or ever give up on you but this is exhausting I can't deal with the back and forth any more." He says he's crying now and so am I.
"So this is it then we can't be friends or anything because of him." I say he doesn't answer. I step toward him."Answer me Harry look me in my eyes and tell me that we can't be friends cause I'm in a relationship with him." I say still holding eye contact with him. He looks away and runs his hands over his face."Tell me Harry cause you and I know that that's not possible. You and I both know that we can't just be friends." I say as the words taste bitter coming out. "Screw you Ember cause you fucking know that that's not possible you know that I can't just be friends with you.I can't watch you be with another guy." As soon as he says it my heart breaks more. He steps closer and now we are right in front of each other. "I need you Ember you were suppose to save me. You were suppose to make me better." He whispers with tears falling down his cheeks."Don't say that." I say backing away."Why cause it's true you and I both know that you will never feel the same way about him like you do me.You and I both know he will never make you feel the way I do.You and I both know that you will never love him the same way you love me." He screams at me. I don't say anything I just look at him and cry and he does the same.
"So this is it December Young this is it you warned me and I should have listened. I just want you to know one thing I was never trying to make you love me I was trying to make you love your self. Because I love you December Young." He says to me his eyes not leaving leaving mine. "You say that you love me but you wouldn't if you knew me." I tell him diverting my gaze to the floor. He screams and it startles me. "That's fucking bullshits Ember I am in love with you. I am completely and utterly in love with you that it hurts." "Then why the hell are you with her." I scream."The same damn reason that your with him because we keep hurting each other and we are afraid to admit it we are afraid to admit that we actually love each other."
Each word he says hurts more and more then the next one because I know it's true I do love him but I can't. "Ember look at me...look at me" he says with a pleading voice. I look up at him and all I see is pain and heart break and it's all because of me.
"Tell me you love me. I just need to hear you say it." He whispers as the tears start to fall down his cheeks again." Tell me you...." I cut him off."I don't love you Harry." The words coming out a little more bitter than I expected them too. "You don't expect me to believe that do you? I know you do please just say it." He says falling to his knees right in front of me. I look at him in the eyes and shake my head no because I don't trust my own voice. He stays there's for a while with his face buried in his hands. I don't move either I just watch as he falls apart right in front of me. He gets up and wipes his face. He walks over and kisses my forehead. "I guess this is it then goodbye December."
And he walks out the door. I stand there in shock and I think if I move I'll fall apart. After about 20 minutes I go into my closest and pull out my suit case. I sit on the floor and open it up I unzip the secret compartment and pull out a small black bag. I unzip it and there they are just like I knew they would be.
YOU ARE READING
The Exchange Student
Fanfiction" What's depression like? " he asked. " It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone else around you breathing."
