" Forever and always "
-the originals
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"So Harry how are you doing?" Dr. Kamery asks putting her pen and pad down as she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. We have been here for almost an hour and I keep avoiding the question, I look down at my lap and let out a loud breath. "Well if I'm being honest I miss her. I miss her so much that it hurts sometimes and I just get angry with my self like I could have done something you know but I couldn't have I couldn't be there to save her this time." I say in what feels like one breath. I look up and Dr. Kamery has a look of sadness on her face with slight confusion. "I don't quite understand Harry what exactly happened but from the file there was nothing you could have done for her. She just...." I interrupt her ." No she didn't kill her self she oh god no she was happy. No she was picking our daughter up from school and I guess she decided to walk that day and on the way home there was this car. Drunk driver or something and she almost hit our daughter but December rushed out in front of her and pushed her out of the way and yeah that's how it happened, she saved our little girl. I just I couldn't have imagined losing both of them I wouldn't have made it. Katie, she struggles a bit, like for the first two months she kept having nightmares and I feel awful that she had to go through that. I mean I can only do so much. I just miss her a lot and my friends and family suggested that I come here and Katie says it helps her so." I clutch Decembers journal in my hand, feeling a pang in my chest as I relived our story while telling it to Dr. Kamery. "Well Harry I'm glad that you came not a lot of people are willing to get help. You may not ever come back or I might see you again next week but I believe that you should write a letter to December, let her know how you feel tell her all the things you never could while she was here. Go see her and read it to her or just put it by her grave or in a box where you've kept of her things. This won't make all the pain go away but it will be a start." She says with a smile on her face. I smile back and I thank her before walking out of the office. I get in my car and shut the door before I let out a scream. I scream because I'm angry because I'm sad because I wish she was still here, I scream and I let it all out. Everything I've been holding in for awhile. I probably look like a mad man right now but I could care less. When I calm down, I start the car and head to the house.
I sit in the study room for another hour and a half, spending the time staring at a blank page but when I'm done I fold it up and head to go see her. I drive for what seems like hours but it's really 45 minutes to be exact. I pull up to the graveyard where I haven't been to since the funeral. I walk down the path to her grave and come to a stop when I see there are new flowers placed upon it, which means someone has been here. I let out a sigh as I sit on the grass in front of her gravestone.
"Hey babe I know I haven't been here in awhile, well since the funeral and I'm sorry about that, I just... I really miss you... a lot and so does Katie. Its been a bit hard at times but we get through it. It's just hard you know, without you being there with us. Anyway I kinda wrote you something." I wipe the tears from my face and pull the letter out of my pocket and I slowly unfold it." Well this is probably gonna be rubbish but that's okay. I guess this is everything I didn't say or couldn't say or wanted to say to you since I met you. I remember the first time we met I hated you, honest to god I did, little did I know I'd be falling for you, hard. I also remember that I was a cocky prick and that's probably why you hated me too. Anyway I remember how stubborn you where from the moment we meet and how sassy you where, god you were so sassy. I always loved that about you. I realized later on that this sassy, smart, beautiful girl was broken and for some reason I didn't get it why someone so amazing as you was so messed up. I remember our first day out in London and the night we danced to Aerosmith all night. The night you told me everything. All of these moments that we shared, even the little ones, I will never forget. When we broke each other's hearts but somehow found our way back to one another. We went through hell and back more than once but babe I wouldn't change it for the world. I miss you so much and I scream and cry that it's not fair but then I remember how one night many years ago you asked me if I believed everything happens for a reason and I do but I've yet to understand this one. I've yet to understand why you would leave so soon. I'm going to miss waking up next to you in the morning. I'm going to miss the way you smile and laugh or how you roll your eyes when you're pissed off at me for not taking the garbage out or not washing the dishes when it was my turn. I'm going to miss everything about you. I know you wouldn't want me here crying and depressed all the time so I'm going to start over. The boys and I may go on tour soon and I may move back to England. Katie would love life on the road she's just like you curious sassy and beautiful. She misses you a lot and loves to talk about you all the time. It was hard for her at first but she's doing better, I think she understands better now. We both miss you but we know you're doing a lot better wherever you are.
I love you December Young. " I suck in a breath as I try to calm the tears that are rolling down my cheeks before I have to pick up Katie. I stand up and dust off my jeans and wipe away the last tears that slip out.
" I'll love you forever and always December Young " I say before walking away.
YOU ARE READING
The Exchange Student
Fanfiction" What's depression like? " he asked. " It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone else around you breathing."
