Numb (DreamNotFound)

6

TW's:
-Mentions self harm/suicide attempts
-Mentions drugs/alcohol/smoking
-Mentions mistreating/abuse

Clay's POV

I walked back to my therapist with a weird feeling and I looked at him. 'I want to stay outside for a little, I'm stressed again.'

'Okay, I'll stay with you. Can you tell me what stresses you out?'

'That boy, he looked really scared. I got a little bit shocked about the stories that other guy told. Things about suicide attempts and stuff, like his stomach got pumped six times and he hit his teachers and his parents.'

'The people who go there are completely on the wrong path. That George guy probably has a major depression and a trauma.'

'But they treated him like garbage.'

'Because he escaped. But he might be mentally not okay, he seemed not that confused. He was just really scared of that man.'

'I feel so bad for him. He's also very young and I wish for him to just live his life.'

'Somethings happened in his life which destroyed everything and they don't want to give him help for it, so they lock him in a room. He needs trauma therapy as he screamed, he needs a therapist, he sees it himself.'

'Both his hands were completely bruised and when his sleeve lifted up a little, I saw scars.'

'Self harm probably.'

'But how, he has nothing.'

'That's the thing with self harm, Clay. That's why I never want you to start with it. People who self harm always look for a way to do it again and for some reason, they always seem to find one.'

'Is it that addictive?'

'Yes, that guy is completely broken and when he hurts himself, he feels better for just ten seconds. Enough for him to do it again. It's the same as the drugs you did, Clay. It gives you a happy feeling and you want it again.'

I nodded. 'It's really stupid when you say it like this. Just because you aren't happy, you're going to look for this that make you happy, it will only break you even more.'

'It will. Neither drugs nor self harm will ever make you genuinely happy. You're just numb and you'll just cover up your problems.'

I nodded slowly and I sat down on a bench. 'When is the police coming?'

'Soon, Clay. But remember, they have been here often and they left with nothing. Everyone who works there just uses the excuse that the patients are crazy.'

'But that George guy whispered that he got hit.'

'We don't know who we can believe. Apparently George is really aggressive and he would have hit that other guy. But I feel like he's telling the truth, he didn't seem that confused. Only broken.'

'I feel bad. Such a young and good looking guy.'

'Good looking, you say?' my therapist grinned.

I immediately flushed red and watched my hands. 'I mean, he wasn't ugly, right?'

'I'm just teasing you, Clay.'

I blushed and smiled, looking at my hands shyly.

'Or do you really have a small crush?'

'He's a boy.'

'So?'

'I'm a boy too.'

'Yeah, I don't see the problem.'

'I don't like boys.'

'Sure, sure, sure,' my therapist laughed and he softly hit my shoulder.

I giggled and rolled my eyes. 'You suck.'

'Oh sure, it's my fault now.'

'I'll hit.'

'Clay, you're the sweetest guy I have ever met. You're not going it hit me, whatever happens.'

'Well, I'm uh- going to- swear at you.'

'Oh well, that will hurt,' my therapist laughed. He held his hands on his heart and coughed. 'Ow, you stabbed me in my heart, it hurts so much.'

I giggled and leaned back on the bench. 'You are weird.'

'How dare you say that?' he said with a playful grin on his face.

'I missed laughing,' I suddenly whispered. 'I missed having someone around me to joke with.'

'Well, since I'm not leaving you alone for months, I'm always here to joke with.'

'Maybe it's really weird to have your patient joke with you.'

'No, not at all. I like this way more than those serious guys. Maybe George would love to joke with you too. I bet he's a very nice guy, you would fall for him within minutes.'

'You're so weird. I'm not even gay or whatever.'

'Denial comes first.'

I rolled my eyes dramatically and crossed my legs. 'I genuinely don't like him or anything.'

'I'm just joking with you. You're allowed to like whoever you want. Have you actually ever liked someone?'

'I guess not. Just when my old friends were at the age when they started liking people and such, I was addicted to drugs. Do you have a girlfriend or something?'

'Yes, I'm married to a beautiful woman.'

I smiled. 'Is it hard for her that you work in this clinic for days long?'

'No, she works in a hospital. We have the same work times.'

'May I ask how you met?'

'That's a story, Clay. You see, we had a man here, he was twenty years old. He was allowed to go home in the weekend, but he came on Monday back and he was completely high and drunk. We took him to the hospital and my wife was his nurse. Well, after work I went back and I asked for her number.'

'I wish I would meet someone one day.'

'He's right there.'

'Oh, shut up.'

'No, but for real. Clay, you're a really strong, sweet and handsome guy. You will find someone.'

I smiled and thought about George again. His eyes stood really scared, but they were beautiful.

'What are you thinking off?'

'Uh- nothing.'

'George?'

'Maybe.'

My therapist laughed and hit my shoulder softly. 'Come, the police arrived. Let's talk to them.'

I nodded and we walked to the police. I walked to the window of George's room shortly and I saw him sitting in front of it. I smiled at him and waved shortly. He smiled too, even though his smile wasn't genuine at all. He lifted his hand slowly and waved back. Every movement seemed too much for him, I felt so bad.

I formed a heart with my hands again and walked to the police. My therapist was grinning at me, but I ignored it, listening to the police talking.

1045 words