Numb (DreamNotFound)

33

TW's:
-Mentions trauma/abuse/tantrums
-Mentions self harm (stitches)
-Mentions suicidal thoughts
-Mentions alcohol

George's POV

Weeks had passed and I was doing a little better. I had broken a lot of things in my trauma therapy, but it was going better. I was getting help for my self harm addiction and I had only managed to cut myself twice. Unfortunately I needed five stitches in total, but I was clean for two weeks now.

I also got help for my suicidal thoughts, I had to write down a positive thing I had experienced everyday and I had made a list with all positive things. When I wanted to die, I looked at the list and the things I didn't want to miss. Clay was the one on the list most of the times and my parents had visited me which was on the list too.

I was with Clay everyday for thirty minutes now. We both were allowed to go outside longer and I was able to use my phone for an hour too. If I had my phone I constantly texted with Clay and I called with him too.

Today was the first day I was able to go home for a weekend and so was Clay. Clay was coming to my place since he didn't want to go to his parents anymore and he wasn't even allowed to go to his parents. We would go on a date finally tomorrow and I was going to tell him I was ready to do things together this time.

It was morning and Clay and I had our last morning before the weekend started here and we were sitting on a bench together, cuddling tightly. Clay had his forehead pressed against mine. He pressed his lips shortly on my forehead as Clay's therapist walked towards us.

'Boys, boys. Behave yourselves, we have to watch over you, you might want to do this without us here,' he giggled. 'Get a room.'

'We don't have a room,' Clay giggled. 'So I guess we sit here.'

'Don't think so, you're going home now.'

'Really?'

'Yeah, if you don't want to let George's mother wait on your make out session.'

Clay rolled his eyes. 'We didn't even kiss.'

'I'm joking, come go home. You deserve it both really badly.'

It was one hour later and Clay and I had been sitting on my bed for minutes long, cuddling each other tightly. Clay took a deep breath suddenly and pushed me softly away, smiling at me.

'George?'

'Yeah?'

'You're of course allowed to say no and you're allowed to say that you're not ready yet.'

I started getting a little more nervous now and I looked at Clay, smiling and blushing a little.

'George? Uh- I want to ask you something.'

'Okay.'

'George, do you want to go to the movies with me and then go to a restaurant?'

I smiled brightly as I tried holding back some nervous laughter and I nodded slowly.

'Is that a yes?' Clay asked nervously and smiled.

'Yes, I want to. I would to go.'

Clay giggled and grabbed my hands. I laid down on my bed. 'I'm happy,' I whispered.

'Me too,' Clay giggled and he rolled next to me, looking at me.

'Can I look at you?'

'You can, you don't scare me when you look at me and my trauma is going better.'

Clay smiled and ran his hand through my hair. I wrapped my arm around his waist and held my other hand in his hair.

'I love you, George.'

'I love you too.'

Clay held me tighter again and he smiled. 'What about the date today?'

'I'm down.'

We both smiled brightly and ten minutes later we were heading to the park with some food. We sat down on a blanket and Clay had cut some bread and gave me a piece.

'George, I don't want to be creepy again, but I'm proud of you. I love you, I honestly want to spend the rest of my life with you and I'm really proud to tell you something.'

He smiled at me and took a deep breath. His eyes filled with a spark and he giggled. 'I haven't had any thoughts about alcohol for two weeks now,' he said shyly.

'Really?' I yelled.

Clay nodded and he blushed slightly.

'I'm so proud of you,' I yelled again. I sat on my knees in front of him and gave him the tightest hug I could which caused him to smile brightly.

'Hey, hey, you showed how proud you are,' Clay giggled after a minute.

'I told you that you were beating this stupid addiction.'

'Well, I'm not there yet, but it's getting way better at least. And so is your trauma, Georgie.'

'Yesterday I had a small panic attack during my therapy, but I'm really far too.'

'I know you are and I'm just as proud at you as you are at me. I just want to tell you that I love you and that I never want to lose you ever in my whole life. I love you and I can't care less about my dumb parents who didn't want me to hang out with you, I love you and I will always do.'

Before we had even eaten one single bit of anything Clay brought, we hugged each other tightly. A few minutes later Clay pushed me away softly and smiled.

'I kept my promise,' he whispered, showing me a small box. 'I bought you the glasses.'

I bursted into tears as I grabbed his hand and yelled out loud from happiness. 'Thank you so much,' I whispered as I looked at him.

'I told you that I would buy them for you and I had some spare money so I went to a store yesterday to buy them. I hope you like it, otherwise I'll bring them back.'

'I love it so much, I don't want you to bring them back. Thank you so much,' I mumbled, giving him a hug.

1085 words