Numb (DreamNotFound)

20

TW's:
-Mentions depression/trauma/PTSD
-Mentions self harm wounds/scars
-Mentions suicidal thoughts

Clay's POV

George and I had been cuddling on the bench for minutes long and I had softly stroked his hair for a long time. George had been crying softly, he had clung onto me the whole time, showing me how much he needed me. I rubbed through his hair and my therapist was trying to help George get a place in my building.

George slowly looked up at me and he smiled softly. He looked at me for a few seconds and looked at our hands locked. 'I'm so glad you did this for me, I'm- I'm just going to cry again.'

'Then cry, Georgie. It's fine, okay?'

George nodded slowly and pouted slightly. 'I'm so happy, but so sad. I don't even know what the hell I'm feeling.'

'Just try explain everything you feel at this moment.'

'I am really sad about everything that happened, it's breaking me. I feel depressed, empty and hopeless. I want to hurt myself, I want to kill myself, but I'm also happy. I'm feel slight hope now I met you, I feel happy that I'm gone there, but I'm broken about anything that happened. I'm also mad at them all, but I'm also calm with you. I constantly want to hold you, but I don't dare too. It's too much emotions at this point.'

'How can I help you?'

'I want to cuddle, I missed interaction so much.'

'Do you want me to kiss your hair?'

George nodded slowly and I kissed his hair softly. He smiled after and laid down on the bench, pulling me with him. I laid down next to him, hugging him against my body. He rested his head on my chest and I kissed the top of his head. His legs entangled with mine and I kept kissing his hair.

'Clay?'

'Yes, George.'

'I'm sorry to be so clingy, but uh- I kind of think uh- I love you more than anyone.' He immediately hid his face in my hoodie and I saw him blush. 'Sorry, I just know you, but it's true. I really do.'

'I love you too.'

'I'm sorry, I'm really annoying. I know.'

'You're not annoying at all, I really like being with you.'

'I just need a lot of attention, I'm sorry. After I have been neglecting myself and I have been isolating myself to not hurt others, I missed the people caring about me and I can't believe the fact you actually like me. I'm really ugly and annoying and I'm way too hard to handle.'

'You're really beautiful, George.'

'I really dislike my arms.'

'I'm going to kiss your arms just as long as you need me to to believe me.'

'I'm really ugly, Clay. I have scars everywhere and they are really obvious.'

I said nothing and I grabbed his arms and kissed every single scar two times. 'More scars to kiss?'

George smiled and shrugged. 'It's fine.'

'I'm kissing them again if you call yourself ugly again.'

'Well, it's not beautiful.'

'You are beautiful and every single part of you is beautiful.'

'I-.'

I place my finger on his lips to shush him and kissed all his scars again. 'I love every part of you.'

'I'm so glad for what you've done for me.'

'I did it with all love.'

George wanted to speak again, but my therapist came closer. 'George, I have called some people. We have a place for urgency for you in our building. You can come Wednesday and you can go home until then. We are going to give you intensive trauma therapy and normal therapy and you're going in rehab for self harm. The first stage we want you to focus fully on therapy and you can't go home in that stage. If everything goes well, you can go home in the weekends.'

'I can see my parents?'

'Yeah, you can go home until Wednesday. We looked up the contact information of your parents and we called them. They are picking you up in an hour.'

'Uh- I have a question,' I whispered.

'What?'

'I promised uh- to well- take George on a platonic date and now he's home, I might be able to. Uh- I like uh- can I go home too? Maybe also till Wednesday.'

'Do you feel stable enough, Clay?'

'I think I am.'

'If not, you have my phone number.'

I nodded. 'It will be alright.'

My therapist lifted up his thumb and smiled. 'I'll leave you two alone now.'

He grinned as he walked off and George looked up. 'Are you sure you're stable enough? Because you weren't going to stay the weekend here for nothing?'

'I just have a lot of thoughts about it, but I want to take you on a date.'

'Okay, I'll believe you.'

I smiled and kissed the top of his head. George lifted himself up a little and hid his face in my neck. I could feel his slow and steady breathing rhythm in my neck and smiled. It seemed like he was falling asleep.

I didn't say anything and looked at him, he was so incredibly sweet and kind. He had everything, even though he had much problems, I was sure he was going to beat it. We both understood each other and maybe I didn't have PTSD, but I still understood his pain.

I softly hugged him as he fell asleep and looked at our hands still locked. I was going home, I was taking George on that date and I was going to be waiting for him to be ready to go to places with me.

I was really thinking if life could be any better than this. I didn't need more friends at all, I only needed George, he brought me enough happiness for the next hundred years. I didn't need anyone else than George. Maybe in a few weeks to a few months even my best friend, George.

1023 words