Numb (DreamNotFound)

34 (The End)

TW's:
-Just small mentions of everything that happened

Four months later...

Clay's POV

I looked over at George as we were sitting on the couch, cuddled up with each other. So much had changed in the last months, it was hard to even imagine.

After George's EMDR was finished he seemed to be way happier for a while, but one night he got the worst nightmare he ever had where he experienced everything again. For weeks he got driven completely insane by his own thoughts, he hit his therapist and me a few times and they gave him EMDR again, this time with success.

George had now finally been living his live without that bad of a trauma. It wasn't fully gone and it would never, but he almost never panicked about it anymore. Because his PTSD got so much better, his depression started getting better slowly and now four months later, he was finally able to say he was depression free.

In the period where his trauma got worse, he found multiple ways to cut himself, cuts with the effect to make him have to go to hospital because of blood loss and stitches. I kept my promise and kissed his wounds everyday which made him feel worthy.

Now George was clean for almost two months, George and I had together thrown away all his blades and the sharp things in his room and he was proud to let it go. He got discharged a few weeks ago and he had finished all of his therapy sessions. It wasn't necessary to keep him there anymore and everyone was proud.

I was discharged two months ago. I had chosen for a longer traject just to be sure and I was extremely glad to say that I didn't have much urges to alcohol and drugs anymore. Sure, they would always keep remaining, but I learnt how to cope with them.

I must be honest that I became drunk once, but it wasn't my fault. In the period that George was still inpatient, I had to go home. Well, my parents were still the dicks they were before and put alcohol in my drink. I noticed it too late, they wanted to test me with the strongest alcohol. I have no idea why they did it, but since I hadn't eaten anything that day and I was sober for months, I became drunk because of it.

After I told my therapist, he told me I could no longer live there. My parents made mean comments all day and my dad even ended up in hitting me one time when I screamed that George was my friend and they had to leave me alone.

My therapist wanted me to get out of there and since George's family made an extra room in their house, I was able to go and live with them. They sort of adopted me, but not officially, to live in their house and after a lot of paperwork I was now able to be living with George.

My new room wasn't used that often, because I always ended up sleeping in George's bed. I kept him calm if he still had a nightmare and he helped me when I was sad about my parents, because I was happy to be gone, but still. They were my parents and they hated me because I got addicted. They acted like it was my fault and they hated me for it.

George and I both went to a new school, since we both got expelled and we went to the same one. It was an hour with the bus everyday, but it was better than nothing. Our grades were both great and we often studied together to finish our finals.

We even made a friend, he was slightly younger than us, because he didn't have to stop for a year, but he was really nice. His name was Sapnap and after a long while we trusted him with our secrets. I told him I had been extremely addicted and I was really scared for his reply. All he said was, if you ever come to my party I will make sure to have nothing close to alcohol there and I'm proud of you.

Well me, the emotional idiot I am, I bursted into tears and had to have George comfort me.

George told about his trauma, his self harm addiction, his anger issues and his suicide attempts and Sapnap seemed to startle a little, but he also told him he was really proud of how far he came. He asked him how he could calm George down if he ever had a panic attack or if he ever got mad and he listened carefully.

After everything that happened, life seemed to be amazing again. The asylum got closed and everyone who worked there, was put in jail. I had two amazing best friends and we were happy together.

I kept looking at George and George looked me in my eyes, something he could still only do with me, but that was fine for everyone.

'I love you, Clay.'

'I love you more.'

'Oh, I see. You're going to do this again. I love you more than more.'

I giggled and hugged him shortly. He fell back down on the couch and I climbed on the couch next to him, rubbing through his hair.

'George, you know. We both met at our lowest points and we still stayed together. I think that nothing can ever break us anymore, if we got through that, we will beat everything in our lives. Both our lives were all about one feeling, the feeling of being numb. I was numb with alcohol and drugs and you were numb with self harm. You've put me back in reality, I don't have to be numb to feel happiness anymore. You are my happiness.'

'And you are mine, Clay,' George whispered.

I smiled at him and hugged him tightly. Who could have ever thought this was going to be the outcome of that hell? Well, it was and I couldn't be more happy than I was now.

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