The Golden Marauders

Huh . . .

"It's a funny story . . ." Lily said nervously. 

"It could be a comedy show," Marco added. 

"Shit shows make humor," James Sirius nodded. "The chaos will definitely make it in the comedy department."

"Is that even a thing?" Ruby turned to her brother. "Like what the fuck is a 'comedy department'?"

"Like what type of show it is . . ."

"You mean genre?" Roxanne asked incredulously. 

"As interesting as this is-" 

"Which it's not," Marlene interrupted her girlfriend. 

"What the bloody hell happens?" Dorcas continued, ignoring Marlene. To which the blonde simply rolled her light blue eyes. 

"Mum gets a dragon," Lily stated as she pulled out a golden locket. 

"Oo!" Rose exclaimed, catching onto what Lily was doing. "I want to see it!"

"I've already-" Ruby elbowed Scorpius, stopping him from saying anything. 

"What do you mean by 'you are all dead'?" Remus repeated as he narrowed his eyes. 

"That's scary," James Sirius whispered as he began to lean back. "He looks just like mum when he does that."

"Funny how genetics work," Elyse scoffed sassily. "Don't ya think?"

Jade laughed openly. 

"Yeah so I'm going to examine the time turner," Rose stated as she stepped back. "You guys can handle . . .that."

"Um . . ." James Sirius began slowly. 

"Well . . ." Roxanne trailed off. 

"Ice cream!" Hugo shouted nervously. 

"It happened . . . " Marco trailed off. 

"Halloween . . ." Elyse stammered. 

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" Jade groaned frustratedly as she stepped forward. "My father, Harry, was being targetted by Voldemort because of a damn prophecy. Lily and James were forced into hiding with baby Harry. Halloween 1981, their Secret Keeper, the rat-" she pointed to the lump on the floor. "-told Voldemort where you were hiding. Lily and James were murdered leaving baby Harry an orphan with Moldy gone or the time being. 

"Sirius was the one who found them along with a breathing baby Harry and Nova," Jade stated bluntly. "Hagrid took my dad to the Dursleys where he was neglected. Mum went to an orphanage. Dumbledick erased Remus's memory of his daughter. Sirius went to Azkaban for supposedly killing Peter and selling the Potters out. 

"Remus was left alone for twelve years. Marlene and Dorcas die shortly after leaving Hogwarts. Alice and Frank are tortured to insanity by Bellatrix. Don't worry, Uncle Nev gets revenge and kills the bitch in the final battle. Anyways, in Mum and Dad's third year, Remus becomes the DADA teacher and Sirius breaks out of Azkaban.

"Mum, Dad, Aunt 'Mione, and Uncle Ron spend the whole year thinking Sirius is out to kill Harry. After exams, Sirius drags Uncle Ron into the Whopping Willow where the others follow. After a dramatic story time, some arguments, a knocked-out Snape, and Mum almost murdering her fathers, they got the truth." Jade explained. "Then Sirius was captured after Remus turned because he is a fluffy little puppy. 

"Mum, Dad, and Aunt 'Mione go back in time three hours to save Sirius and a hippogriff. Then Sirius was on the run until 1996 when he died." she was nothing less than blunt. "Voldemort returned to power at the end of Mum and Dad's fourth year. Late June of 1995. The world thought Mum and Dad were attention-seeking liars. The Order of the Pheonix was reformed. Mum became the youngest member, demanding she be in it. Then Sirius dies."