~sanders sides ship one shots~

He/They: Demus

This was more of a vent then anything...I'm sorry if their ooc I just needed to project on Remus and needed some soft demus fluff so yeah

DIY top surgery...jk...unless 👉🏻👈🏻

Cavetown supremacy >>

Hhhhhhhhh I'm dying inside but that's okay

Tw: dysphoria, panicking, negative thoughts, not really transphobia but maybe implied transphobia? Idk.

Remus was panicking.

To be honest, they weren't even sure why they were panicking so much.

They'd been going through their day, cleaning and organizing their things like their mom told them to, when a thought crossed their mind.

How do I feel about going by he/they?

And for whatever reason, the thought made them sick to their stomach.

What if everyone thinks I'm making this up for attention? Why would I come out as non-binary if I'm just going to go back to using he? What if I don't really want to use he and I just feel pressured because everyone keeps slipping and using he anyway? What if this makes me more dysphoric? What if I'm not really non-binary and just stole an identity that didn't belong to me for months?

They didn't get it. Five minutes ago they were fine, now they were laying on their bed hugging their  favorite stuffed animal, a little hedgehog named Socks, listening to Mama by mcr, and trying not to cry.

What the fuck is wrong with me.

Remus groaned and rolled over, hugging Socks tighter.

Their phone chimed, breaking them from their thoughts. It was a text from their boyfriend, Janus.

My snek:
Babe I'm bored can we hangout

A second later it chimed again, with another text form Janus.

My snek:
💚💚💚

Remus smiled, even on their bad days Janus always managed to cheer them up, without even trying.

My trash Rat:
Yeah
Can I come over to ur house?

My snek:
Yah duh
I love you Re

My trash rat:
Thanks, I love you too snek boi
I'll see you in a bit ;)

~time skip Remus is at Janus's house now~

"Hey Re?" Janus leaned his head up from Remus's chest, where he had been cuddling up to them.

"Hm?" Remus hummed in reply, focusing on playing with his hair.

"Are you okay? You seem off today...if you don't want to talk I get it, I won't bother you, but if you do...I'm here for you honey." Janus took one of Remus's hands and kissed it gently.

"I don't know Jan...I'm just tired." Remus sighed and hugged Janus tighter.

"Of what honey?"

"Of...I don't know. Sometimes I wish I was cis, that would make life so much easier. I'm just confused...I was thinking about gender and stuff earlier, and I got really upset and I don't know what freaked me out so much, but it did."

"I'm sorry Re. I don't know what that feels like but I'm sure it can't be fun." Janus turned around in Remus's lap to face them, kissing their forehead lightly.

Remus snorted. "Heh, yeah you could say that. Uuhhhhhh I hate this."

"Can I say something Re?" Janus asked them.

Remus looked up at him curiously, intrigued as to where this was going. "Yah."

"I don't know what you're going through, and as a cis person, I know I never will. But listen, I'm here for you. And I'll do whatever I can to support you. If you need a distraction from your dysphoria, I'll distract you. If you need to vent, I'll listen. If you need someone to cuddle you at 3 am because your nightmares won't let you fall asleep, I'll leave a note for my mom and come right over to you. I will do anything for you Remus. I love you more then anything else in the world." Janus kissed their forehead again, before moving down and pausing before their lips. "Is this okay my love?"

Remus nodded, and Janus kissed them, soft and gentle, before Remus tried to turn it rough and passionate.

Janus pulled away from Remus, glaring at it them. "You horny ass! I was trying to comfort you, not end up fucking you!" He leaned back against Remus, burying his head in their neck and hugging them tight. "I love you Re."

Remus laughed, and hugged him back, laying their head on top of his.

"...Jan?"

"Yes honey?"

"What would you say if I wanted to go by he/they??"

Janus sat up and looked Remus in the eye. "I would say that, if that's what feels most you, do it. Use them. I'll use your pronouns no matter what they are, and I'll stay with you while you keep questioning things. You aren't going to get rid of me while you figure yourself out, that's a promise."

Remus teared up. "J-Jan. I love you so much holy fuck, Jesus Christ." They hugged Janus so tight he began to lose his breath.

He tapped their shoulder. "Re- hon- need to breath-"

"Oh shit Jan! Sorry." Remus pulled back. "I love you so fucking much. Kiss me?" Remus looked at him hopefully, and Janus nodded, pressing their lips together again.

Life may be shitty, and dysphoria would be hard, but Remus had Janus, and that made things better.

Things would be okay.

...right?

~826 words