~sanders sides ship one shots~

Four Words: Demus

Pro tip: if you're writing Remus angst, don't put the official Remus playlist on shuffle. I was listening to Death as a Fetish, cuz that song rly fit the vibe of this fic, right? Well apparently I forgot to put it on repeat and I left the playlist on shuffle, so I'm trying to write this scene where Remus is like crying to himself, and all of a sudden I hear the beginning to No Reason Boner by ninja sex party. I hate it here.

This was a rly good vent fic ngl. I needed this

Requested by: KittyAzure, and I have the other request on my list, but I can't find who requested it so if you requested that demus angst prompt here it is

Tw: fighting, crying, blaming yourself, heartbreak, yeah it's angsty

Four words.

That's all it took for Remus's life to change forever.

*flashback*

"Dee! You're back, you're back! What'd they say what happened??" Remus pounced on Janus the instant he came through the door from the light sides, having spent the day with them to film.

"Re..." Janus trailed off, unsure how to say what he needed to say.

"What?" He gasped loudly. "ARE YOU HURT? DO I NEED TO FIGHT SOMEONE FOR YOU? Was it Roman, cuz if it was I don't care if he's my brother, he's dead-"

"Remus." Janus snapped, his tone harsh and cold. It hurt, Janus never spoke to him like this.

What hurt more was the use of his name.

Janus hadn't called him Remus since they'd begun dating, he'd always been his Re.

Things were changing.

"Yeah?" Remus's voice was small when he spoke, his shoulders hunched up, making himself smaller as well.

"I'm leaving for the light sides."

Remus looked up and stared at Janus in shock, nearly convinced he was kidding.

Or lying.

"You're joking. There's- there's no way-" Remus stuttered over his words. "Dee." He looked at his boyfriend with a heartbroken expression, tears filling his eyes.

"I'm going, I mean it. I'm leaving Remus. And I'm going to pack now, so I'm set to leave and make it to the family dinner in time." Janus turned to go to his room and get ready to leave, but Remus reached for his arm to stop him.

"Why? Dee, can't we talk about this? We've had fights before, I don't understand-"

"Let go of me! God, Remus, isn't it obvious? First Roman, then Virgil, now me? You really can't seem to get it through your head that you're not good enough."

Not good enough.

Not good enough.

Not good enough.

The words echoed through Remus's mind, breaking him.

He let go of Janus's arm, and stumbled back, catching himself against the wall behind him.

Janus observed him, while fixing the sleeve and glove that Remus's had grabbed and tugged out of place. "Try and stop me again and you'll regret it."

He turned and proceeded up the stairs, not so much as sparing a glance behind him.

Remus let himself collapse fully, sinking to the floor and shaking, tears falling freely down his face.

"You- you said you'd never l-leave me..."

He cried harder and buried his hand in his arms, summoning himself one of his hoodies to wear as he continued to have his breakdown.

I'm really not good enough.

And I'll never get another chance to be.

~430 words